I thought the Razzies were going down this week. We played the Multiple Scorgasms, who boast Peyton Manning as QB, and when that asshole threw four TDs for 264 yards with no interceptions, I thought it was over for the Razzies. I was losing when the Sunday night game started. Incidentally, the Sunday Night game was one of these new international games that the NFL is doing to generate a more global interest in "Futbol Americano," and it was the Niners v. Cardinals in la Ciudad de Mexico. Why Tagliabue and company chose the toilet of the NFC West to make Mexicans go wild for hard-hitting NFL action is beyond me.

Anyway, I thought that the Razzies were going to be sitting right in the middle of the Columbia Ballers West division at 2-2 after this week. After all, Multiple Scorgasms was beating the Razzies by nine points when the night game started. I thought all was lost. After all, I had nothing to hope for but the scoring prowess of an Arizona Cardinal. I thought that defeat was assured. I thought wrong.

I had picked up Neil Rackers (K-Arizona) a couple weeks ago after Matt Stover missed three easy FGs (30 yarders) during week one. I figured that Stover's consistency, his selling point in the first place, had turned into INconsistency, and I wasn't about to let a damn kicker screw up the Razzies' dominance. So I threw caution to the wind and violated my general No Cardinals policy by picking up Rackers, thinking he at least couldn't be worse than Stover.

Rackers is the anti-Stover, and he rocked my tits off this week. When I got home from the bar to watch the night game, I was losing. Then my boy Rackers kicked SIX field goals and an extra point (breaking NFL records in the process), so the Razzies ended up beating Multiple Scorgasms by ten points. The Cardinals' offense sucks so badly that they can't close the deal in the end zone. Which is sad, considering they were playing the Niners, who boast the worst defense in the NFL. However, they were able to get into field goal range six times, and thank God for that, because I won.

Neil Rackers kicks ass. And mad field goals.