Monday, June 05, 2006
I knew this MySpace thing was going to cause problems
I resisted MySpace for a long time, until I realized that it was a useful means for increasing traffic at RAZZY.org. However, not all of this traffic is desirable, as I found out yesterday when I checked my razzy@razzy.org e-mail and found this choice piece of correspondence awaiting me:
To: razzy@razzy.org
From: brianandjensmom@yahoo.com
To whom it may conern at the "razzy" web site,
I found my 13 year old son was reading this web site today in his room and was shocked that something like it is allowed on the internet. This web site is full of profanity, dirty talk, obscenities and pornography. I can't believe there are people out there who want to read this kind of filth but I guess it must make lots of money being in tuned with the perveted freaks of nature. I want to give you the chance to do the right thing and make sure kids can't read your garbage and trash!! I will not sit quiety and let you continue damaging children like this already has and I demand for you to take it off line right away. My son told me that he found the site from one of his school friends through a web site called my space. My space is a web site where my son talks to his friends about their school projects, and he shouldnt worry about having to see nudity and horrible language and profanity when he is trying to do his homework. I am a single mom and I don't think its unreasonable to expect that he can do his school work without being exposed to filth and garbage!!! You probably don't know that kids are reading your web site unless you are the worst kind of perverted freak, but, I'm, pretty sure, its illegal for kids to see your obscene web site, curse words, disgusting sex talk and pronography. So I will give you a chance to take down your web site and prove you are good people but if you don't I warn you I will go to the authorities and report you! Then you might have some legal problems to deal with and could end up in real trouble so please do the right thing and take this site off and make parents everywhere secure that their kids can use the web safely.
Paula James
When I read this, I immediately thought she was wrong to blame me for her son's problems, but quickly ran down my list of responsibilities just to make sure:
-Walk dogs
-Kill mice
-Pay bills
-Take birth control pill
-Update RAZZY.org
-Go to gym
-Shower
-Do dishes
-Take out garbage
-Consume scotch
-Get laid
I've gone over and over this list, and nowhere on it do I see "parenting Paula James's kid." It's not my problem if she lets him spend all day surfing the internet, presumably without supervision (since she can't be monitoring him very closely if she thinks MySpace is a website for doing homework). If that's the case, then RAZZY.org is the least of her problems. Hasn't she ever seen one of those "To Catch a Predator" specials on Dateline? If she lets this brat dick around online all day, eventually some man-titted pedophile will be walking into her kitchen with a sixer of Bartles and Jaymes and the intent of teaching her kid how kewl molestation is.
I'm especially irritated that yet again I've been accused of being a pornographer. Since when did a couple random titty shots constitute pornography? I don't consider that porn, and I am a porn aficionado, so I should know. I Dream of Jenna is porn. Mr. Short Stud is porn. Edward Penishands, Willy Wanker and the Fudge Packing Factory, Big Trouble in Little Vagina,The El Paso Wrecking Crew, Moulin Splooge, Fat Girls Need Loving Too, Poke 'Er Mon, All Anal on the Western Front, and Kinky Kunt-Kraving Kuties are ALL PORN. Pictures of me drinking a 24-ouncer of Beck's with no clothes on may be incredibly smoking-hot nudity, but IT IS NOT PORN! I can see how RAZZY.org could irreparably damage a teenaged boy with unhindered internet access, because in the panoply of disgusting and obscene material on the web, there's nothing more insidious than pictures of my breasts.
I'm curious regarding the "authorities" she plans on reporting me to, since I was unaware that the content of the world wide web was being regulated by the morality police. I'd hate to have "legal problems" or end up in "real trouble," so maybe I should consult with my attorney friends HotLawyer or Morrissey'sHair about the validity of this threat. However, I don't need to distract them from respectively negotiating plea deals for meth-addled prostitutes and structuring bankruptcy settlements, because I'm certain they would advise me that the FIRST FUCKING AMENDMENT guarantees me the right to put whatever the hell I want on my website. I've never studied constitutional law, but I am positive there is not a rider on the Bill of Rights that negates freedom of speech when some uptight single mom with piss-poor parenting skills doesn't want her kid reading useless bullshit.
I don't want kids reading my website. I hate kids. If I knew how to keep kids from reading RAZZY.org I would, because in keeping with my hatred of kids, I think they should be deprived of the mind-blowing orgasm of magnificent awesomeness that is my website. I strongly advocate keeping kids away from anything they might find funny or that might bring joy to their lives. Therefore, Paula James should use the fucking "Parental Control" feature offered by virtually EVERY internet service provider and block her dipshit son from visiting my website again instead of demanding that I relinquish my time-wasting hobby of authoring the greatest website in the history of the internet. If this bitch would take a break from misplacing culpability for the fact that her son is a depraved little fucktard (again, the kid told his mom that MySpace is a website for doing homework...he's obviously an accomplished liar), maybe she could take an active role in his upbringing and we could accomplish our mutual goal of keeping her kid off my fucking website.
Stupid parents who think it's somehow my duty to pick up their slack should be warned that I have ZERO sympathy for their concerns. If I wanted to hone my parenting skills, I'd have my own fucking kids. However, since I don't, I hardly think that I should worry about parenting someone else's brats. RAZZY.org will remain online and continue to furnish all 12 of my readers with their regular useless bullshit requirements. Paula James will remain a dumb bitch.
To: razzy@razzy.org
From: brianandjensmom@yahoo.com
To whom it may conern at the "razzy" web site,
I found my 13 year old son was reading this web site today in his room and was shocked that something like it is allowed on the internet. This web site is full of profanity, dirty talk, obscenities and pornography. I can't believe there are people out there who want to read this kind of filth but I guess it must make lots of money being in tuned with the perveted freaks of nature. I want to give you the chance to do the right thing and make sure kids can't read your garbage and trash!! I will not sit quiety and let you continue damaging children like this already has and I demand for you to take it off line right away. My son told me that he found the site from one of his school friends through a web site called my space. My space is a web site where my son talks to his friends about their school projects, and he shouldnt worry about having to see nudity and horrible language and profanity when he is trying to do his homework. I am a single mom and I don't think its unreasonable to expect that he can do his school work without being exposed to filth and garbage!!! You probably don't know that kids are reading your web site unless you are the worst kind of perverted freak, but, I'm, pretty sure, its illegal for kids to see your obscene web site, curse words, disgusting sex talk and pronography. So I will give you a chance to take down your web site and prove you are good people but if you don't I warn you I will go to the authorities and report you! Then you might have some legal problems to deal with and could end up in real trouble so please do the right thing and take this site off and make parents everywhere secure that their kids can use the web safely.
Paula James
When I read this, I immediately thought she was wrong to blame me for her son's problems, but quickly ran down my list of responsibilities just to make sure:
-Walk dogs
-Kill mice
-Pay bills
-Take birth control pill
-Update RAZZY.org
-Go to gym
-Shower
-Do dishes
-Take out garbage
-Consume scotch
-Get laid
I've gone over and over this list, and nowhere on it do I see "parenting Paula James's kid." It's not my problem if she lets him spend all day surfing the internet, presumably without supervision (since she can't be monitoring him very closely if she thinks MySpace is a website for doing homework). If that's the case, then RAZZY.org is the least of her problems. Hasn't she ever seen one of those "To Catch a Predator" specials on Dateline? If she lets this brat dick around online all day, eventually some man-titted pedophile will be walking into her kitchen with a sixer of Bartles and Jaymes and the intent of teaching her kid how kewl molestation is.
I'm especially irritated that yet again I've been accused of being a pornographer. Since when did a couple random titty shots constitute pornography? I don't consider that porn, and I am a porn aficionado, so I should know. I Dream of Jenna is porn. Mr. Short Stud is porn. Edward Penishands, Willy Wanker and the Fudge Packing Factory, Big Trouble in Little Vagina,The El Paso Wrecking Crew, Moulin Splooge, Fat Girls Need Loving Too, Poke 'Er Mon, All Anal on the Western Front, and Kinky Kunt-Kraving Kuties are ALL PORN. Pictures of me drinking a 24-ouncer of Beck's with no clothes on may be incredibly smoking-hot nudity, but IT IS NOT PORN! I can see how RAZZY.org could irreparably damage a teenaged boy with unhindered internet access, because in the panoply of disgusting and obscene material on the web, there's nothing more insidious than pictures of my breasts.
I'm curious regarding the "authorities" she plans on reporting me to, since I was unaware that the content of the world wide web was being regulated by the morality police. I'd hate to have "legal problems" or end up in "real trouble," so maybe I should consult with my attorney friends HotLawyer or Morrissey'sHair about the validity of this threat. However, I don't need to distract them from respectively negotiating plea deals for meth-addled prostitutes and structuring bankruptcy settlements, because I'm certain they would advise me that the FIRST FUCKING AMENDMENT guarantees me the right to put whatever the hell I want on my website. I've never studied constitutional law, but I am positive there is not a rider on the Bill of Rights that negates freedom of speech when some uptight single mom with piss-poor parenting skills doesn't want her kid reading useless bullshit.
I don't want kids reading my website. I hate kids. If I knew how to keep kids from reading RAZZY.org I would, because in keeping with my hatred of kids, I think they should be deprived of the mind-blowing orgasm of magnificent awesomeness that is my website. I strongly advocate keeping kids away from anything they might find funny or that might bring joy to their lives. Therefore, Paula James should use the fucking "Parental Control" feature offered by virtually EVERY internet service provider and block her dipshit son from visiting my website again instead of demanding that I relinquish my time-wasting hobby of authoring the greatest website in the history of the internet. If this bitch would take a break from misplacing culpability for the fact that her son is a depraved little fucktard (again, the kid told his mom that MySpace is a website for doing homework...he's obviously an accomplished liar), maybe she could take an active role in his upbringing and we could accomplish our mutual goal of keeping her kid off my fucking website.
Stupid parents who think it's somehow my duty to pick up their slack should be warned that I have ZERO sympathy for their concerns. If I wanted to hone my parenting skills, I'd have my own fucking kids. However, since I don't, I hardly think that I should worry about parenting someone else's brats. RAZZY.org will remain online and continue to furnish all 12 of my readers with their regular useless bullshit requirements. Paula James will remain a dumb bitch.
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Razzy! What a dumb bitch. It's not like when her son logged into myspace your "porno website" popped up and said "Kids Welcome!" She states: “and he shouldnt worry about having to see nudity and horrible language and profanity when he is trying to do his homework.” Aaaahhhhh haaaaa haaaaa…. I really don’t think he’s to “worried” about it…. He’s probably more worried that Mommy is going to find that dirty wet sock under his desk People, kids included, have to be searching for something in particular for your website or your myspace to come up in a search, so what do you think these kids were looking for? Probably not something G Rated, that’s for sure. And She should really check herself before she starts throwing around empty threats about sending the authorities out to get you....the only reason she knows her son was on your site is because she walked in on him, probably after she got off her waitressing job at Denny's... maybe you should threaten to turn her into the authorities for letting her son search for pictures of naked chicks on the internet, because I guarantee you its not the first time! "Doing Homework" is codeword for “searching for profanity, dirty talk, obscenities and pornography.” :) Lori Gail
# posted by 
: 6/05/2006 3:31 PM
: 6/05/2006 3:31 PM
"Waitressing job at Denny's"...ha ha ha, Lori! You are SO right and raise several valid points. I wonder what this kid searched for in order to find my MySpace page..."banging hot swarthy guys"? Sounds like homework to me.
Raz: I warned you about mySpace, dear! So, this woman's son is 13, ha? Never too soon to create a wonderful influence on a er... young man. He will undoubtedly cite you as an influence when he himself is a scientist that knows how to have a great time.
I applaud you, and will keep up with the ChemRazz from München this next few days....
I applaud you, and will keep up with the ChemRazz from München this next few days....
Razzy,
Evangelical assaults on the First Amendment are somewhat outside my oeuvre, but I'm confident that your musings on Razzy.org would be considered protected speech (especially by Justice Thomas) Especially as to the rantings and ravings of a mother who allows her child unfettered access to the internet (where he is, undoubtedly, mining far more offensive material than she can even imagine). Please continue to post her correspondence.
-Morrissey'sHair
Evangelical assaults on the First Amendment are somewhat outside my oeuvre, but I'm confident that your musings on Razzy.org would be considered protected speech (especially by Justice Thomas) Especially as to the rantings and ravings of a mother who allows her child unfettered access to the internet (where he is, undoubtedly, mining far more offensive material than she can even imagine). Please continue to post her correspondence.
-Morrissey'sHair
# posted by : 6/06/2006 11:24 AM
: 6/06/2006 11:24 AM
Just so you know we have started a petition to get this web site off line since you did not choose to deal with this like adults. People should go and sign it right away if you are as offended by this web site as I am.
http://www.petitiononline.com/norazzy/petition.html
http://www.petitiononline.com/norazzy/petition.html
# posted by : 6/06/2006 4:27 PM
: 6/06/2006 4:27 PM
Oh. My. I wish my blog was as being threatened with censorship! Alas, one can only hope. This very "Brave" momma should spend more time watching her own kids, turning on parental controls on her cheap-ass Dell, and stop posting anonymously; have the gonads to state your name....
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