Monday, June 12, 2006
Threats don't scare me, either from Paula James or Danish privateers
I thought that my detailed analysis of on point case law regarding Paula James's chances of taking me to court on slander and obscenity charges would have beaten her into submission. Apparently, the bitch just can't get enough abuse, so she e-mailed me again:
To: razzy@razzy.org
From: brianandjensmom@yahoo.com
I see that you don't care about a law suit and you should because you are not a lawyer and you don't have one. You won't find one who will stupe to defending your filthy and obscene web site. Another mom who signed my petition, her brother is a lawyer, he is one of the best in KS and he is going to work on this for us or if he can't will refer us to another good lawyer who will. I wish you would take me seriously but since you won't we will proceed with legal actions. If you looked at the petition you will see there are lots of other moms who agree with me about your web site, the number grows every day!! We will force you out of buisness and start with making you take my name and e mail off your web site! Its obvious you don't take me seriously but I promise you will. You should know better then to mess with a mom who loves her kids and will do any thing to protect them.
Paula James
I went and looked at the petition, and as of today there are 15 total signatures. However, I suspect that "Kim Il Jong," "Jack Zoff," "Jesus of Nazareth," "ronald wilson reagan," and "nacho libre" do not represent other concerned mothers rallying around Paula's cause. Even though it appears some heavy hitters of the railroad and oil industries wish to have me locked up in "shackles made of Reardon Metal" and some Scandinavian pirate suggests keelhauling me (ouch!), they wish me more misfortune than a mere lawsuit, and I ain't skerred. Other than recruiting the barons of industry who are so outraged about my site they "want to burn down (their) own oil fields," Paula has found four other seemingly authentic saggy vaginas who hate my website and are willing to wage this futile campaign against me. It looks like I'm squarely in the crosshairs of a bunch of some real power players whose skills (other than negligent parenting) include making Rice Krispie treats and driving Kia minivans.
I am SHAKING in my stiletto-heeled boots that one of these bitches has a brother who is a lawyer, and one of the best in Kansas at that. I'm SO fearful that one of the top barristers in a state so fucking backwards that they teach creationism in public schools is going to consider taking this case. Except he won't, since PAULA JAMES HAS NO FUCKING CASE, except possibly a case of staggering idiocy and mental retardation. Although she's right about me not being a lawyer, I am unconcerned. Since I've probably fucked more lawyers than Paula's friend has bar card-carrying brothers, should I need to retain counsel, I'm sure I can find one who will not only "stupe" to my level, but will be able to spell "stoop" correctly.
Give it up, Paula. You're not doing anything to protect your stupid son by letting him dick around on the internet all day by himself. It's also apparent that apart from your three or four friends, nobody gives a shit about your crusade to shut me down, either. While you're busy firing off poorly written empty threats to me, your son is probably jerking off to Russian homeless people fucking at dam-hobos.com, hitting the Beaver Bong ("it's 4:20...got beaver?"), receiving virtual abuse courtesy of the Mean Bitches, searching for hotter bitches than you with the MILF Hunter, marveling at the sheer volume of the female ejaculation featured at squirters.tv, or being horrified, revolted, and generally grossed the fuck out by Brazilian whores shitting into each others mouths. I found all these websites by Googling "weird or disgusting porn sites," so imagine what your fucking kid has access to. You should be thanking me that he was looking at something as wholesome and family-friendly as RAZZY.org, you stupid, stupid cunt.
To: razzy@razzy.org
From: brianandjensmom@yahoo.com
I see that you don't care about a law suit and you should because you are not a lawyer and you don't have one. You won't find one who will stupe to defending your filthy and obscene web site. Another mom who signed my petition, her brother is a lawyer, he is one of the best in KS and he is going to work on this for us or if he can't will refer us to another good lawyer who will. I wish you would take me seriously but since you won't we will proceed with legal actions. If you looked at the petition you will see there are lots of other moms who agree with me about your web site, the number grows every day!! We will force you out of buisness and start with making you take my name and e mail off your web site! Its obvious you don't take me seriously but I promise you will. You should know better then to mess with a mom who loves her kids and will do any thing to protect them.
Paula James
I went and looked at the petition, and as of today there are 15 total signatures. However, I suspect that "Kim Il Jong," "Jack Zoff," "Jesus of Nazareth," "ronald wilson reagan," and "nacho libre" do not represent other concerned mothers rallying around Paula's cause. Even though it appears some heavy hitters of the railroad and oil industries wish to have me locked up in "shackles made of Reardon Metal" and some Scandinavian pirate suggests keelhauling me (ouch!), they wish me more misfortune than a mere lawsuit, and I ain't skerred. Other than recruiting the barons of industry who are so outraged about my site they "want to burn down (their) own oil fields," Paula has found four other seemingly authentic saggy vaginas who hate my website and are willing to wage this futile campaign against me. It looks like I'm squarely in the crosshairs of a bunch of some real power players whose skills (other than negligent parenting) include making Rice Krispie treats and driving Kia minivans.
I am SHAKING in my stiletto-heeled boots that one of these bitches has a brother who is a lawyer, and one of the best in Kansas at that. I'm SO fearful that one of the top barristers in a state so fucking backwards that they teach creationism in public schools is going to consider taking this case. Except he won't, since PAULA JAMES HAS NO FUCKING CASE, except possibly a case of staggering idiocy and mental retardation. Although she's right about me not being a lawyer, I am unconcerned. Since I've probably fucked more lawyers than Paula's friend has bar card-carrying brothers, should I need to retain counsel, I'm sure I can find one who will not only "stupe" to my level, but will be able to spell "stoop" correctly.
Give it up, Paula. You're not doing anything to protect your stupid son by letting him dick around on the internet all day by himself. It's also apparent that apart from your three or four friends, nobody gives a shit about your crusade to shut me down, either. While you're busy firing off poorly written empty threats to me, your son is probably jerking off to Russian homeless people fucking at dam-hobos.com, hitting the Beaver Bong ("it's 4:20...got beaver?"), receiving virtual abuse courtesy of the Mean Bitches, searching for hotter bitches than you with the MILF Hunter, marveling at the sheer volume of the female ejaculation featured at squirters.tv, or being horrified, revolted, and generally grossed the fuck out by Brazilian whores shitting into each others mouths. I found all these websites by Googling "weird or disgusting porn sites," so imagine what your fucking kid has access to. You should be thanking me that he was looking at something as wholesome and family-friendly as RAZZY.org, you stupid, stupid cunt.
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The list grows by the day; John Galt has now weighed in, underscoring the significance of this struggle. Put an end to it, before all the characters of Ayn Rand's opus make an appearance. Need I remind you all how poorly that story ends?
# posted by 
: 6/12/2006 12:09 PM
: 6/12/2006 12:09 PM
Yikes...an Ayn Rand reference! This group of bible thumpers is beginning to sound more conspiratorial than Oliver Stone, though decidedly less eloquent. And who the fuck is John Galt?! If this is about name-dropping, then pick someone whose prominence echoes outside of the Midwest. Red-staters and bigoted Chrsitians take notice: Your contrived and (frankly) silly threats are laughable. Why don't you all just get back to thanking God for sending AIDS as a punishment to sinners and spend your vast amount of free time ensuring that your children recive instruction about forbidden fruit at public expense. Get a life.
# posted by : 6/12/2006 12:32 PM
: 6/12/2006 12:32 PM
Man, is every fucking character from Atlas Shrugged going to sign the petition? I better watch out, now that all these fictional capitalists are aligned against me.
Anonymous,
While it's clear you successfully trudged through a correspondence survey course of modern "philosophy," you would do well to identify yourself so that we might all benefit from your endless font of knowledge. Anyone who considers Rand an intellectual heavyweight should demonstrate nary a concern for the individual rantings of a blogger. Or do you pcik and choose from her ideas buffet-style, as "Christians" are wont to do with Christ's? Again, get a life and your facts straight. We're all very proud that you made it through a thick book with no pictures. Now let the rest of us enjoy our own reading...at Razzy.org.
While it's clear you successfully trudged through a correspondence survey course of modern "philosophy," you would do well to identify yourself so that we might all benefit from your endless font of knowledge. Anyone who considers Rand an intellectual heavyweight should demonstrate nary a concern for the individual rantings of a blogger. Or do you pcik and choose from her ideas buffet-style, as "Christians" are wont to do with Christ's? Again, get a life and your facts straight. We're all very proud that you made it through a thick book with no pictures. Now let the rest of us enjoy our own reading...at Razzy.org.
# posted by : 6/12/2006 2:15 PM
: 6/12/2006 2:15 PM
It now appears as if the International Football community has taken notice. I can't believe that Rosicky posted that; it must have been the first thing he did after coming off the pitch. Who would have thought the Germans would have installed WiFi in the players' locker rooms?
Few, this tiff is hotter than the Italian game-fixing controversy. It can't be long until even more obscure references start to sign that petition...
Few, this tiff is hotter than the Italian game-fixing controversy. It can't be long until even more obscure references start to sign that petition...
# posted by : 6/12/2006 2:19 PM
: 6/12/2006 2:19 PM
I could care less about fucking soccer. For one thing, I watch REAL football, and by that I mean the NF-fucking-L. For another, I am rooting for Team Angola and Team Cote D'Ivoire (even though they both lost) because they are chock-full of hot black guys, not short balding fairies like Landon Donovan. So fuck off, Tomas Rosicky...Are you even a REAL Czech? There are suspiciously few consonants in your name.
And fuck Ayn Rand, for that matter. Why can't some references from a real badass writer sign the petition? Like Jake Barnes, Brett Ashley, Robert Cohn, Nick Adams, Robert Jordan, etc. That's Hemingway, in case you never got around to adding those Cliff Notes to your library.
And fuck Ayn Rand, for that matter. Why can't some references from a real badass writer sign the petition? Like Jake Barnes, Brett Ashley, Robert Cohn, Nick Adams, Robert Jordan, etc. That's Hemingway, in case you never got around to adding those Cliff Notes to your library.
And Anonymous, I'd advise against stepping to HotLawyer on the Philosophy tip. Philosophy is his dark, geeky secret much as Tolkien and history books about maritime adventuring and infectious disease are mine.
Now you've done it. You've agitated the bee's nest that is FIFA Copa Mundial. These guys make NBA players look like choir boys. Have you forgotten poor Andres Escobar? He took 12 to the dome for making one mistake! Heaven help you.
# posted by : 6/12/2006 4:34 PM
: 6/12/2006 4:34 PM
That Brazilian Shit site may be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
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# posted by : 6/13/2006 10:26 AM
: 6/13/2006 10:26 AM Links to this post:
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