Monday, October 23, 2006
Aleksey Vaynar: Douchebag of the year
Today a lot of my beloved Razzyphiles have been sending me quality blog material. Right after Morrissey'sHair emailed me about Lil' Wayne's recent legal troubles, I received another gem in my inbox:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: The R-uh (r-uh@bigbiotechcompany.com)
Subject: One name...
"Aleksey Vaynar."
This Dud(e) had a personal video made and included a link to it on his CV to UBS Warburg. And you can trust me Raz, EVERY fucking investment banker on the planet is JUST LIKE THIS ASSHOLE!
I dare you to see if you can stomach all six minutes of the smug and most loathsome Mr. Vaynar preaching about his foolproof plan for success interspersed with shots of him lifting weights, ski jumping, playing tennis, ballroom dancing, and karate chopping a stack of bricks:
The one thing Aleksey doesn't talk about is his undoubtedly freakishly tiny penis. His overcompensatory bench pressing and his willingness to audaciously lecture people about success from the standpoint of an unemployed failed "professional" athlete translate to one thing: SMALL WEINER. This guy gives the women unfortunate enough to sleep with him migraines more often than he gives them orgasms. I've got him pegged as one of those guys whose dick looks like a bee-stung thumb: swollen and lumpy-looking, and neither practically nor aesthetically pleasing. I'd wager he has some erectile dysfunction issues, as well. If he ever gets a job, I predict that his first purchase will be a bright red sportscar.
It appears that the staff in the UBS Warburg human resources office thought Aleksey was a obnoxious, self-satisfied asshole even by investment banker standards, because not only did they not hire him to work there, but they leaked the video to YouTube. Once this shit went viral, Aleksey threatened to sue UBS Warburg over the "stress" that it has caused to his family, as reported by the always hilarious folks at Fox News:
I've got news for you, Aleksey: when you make a video portraying yourself as the most pompous fucktard on the planet, you have NOBODY TO BLAME BUT ALEKSEY VAYNAR! Don't blame UBS Warburg because they and the rest of the world took your advice to "cross (losers) out of your life" and did just that to you. Man up and take responsibility for being a stupid asshole, you penis-challenged tool.
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: The R-uh (r-uh@bigbiotechcompany.com)
Subject: One name...
"Aleksey Vaynar."
This Dud(e) had a personal video made and included a link to it on his CV to UBS Warburg. And you can trust me Raz, EVERY fucking investment banker on the planet is JUST LIKE THIS ASSHOLE!
I dare you to see if you can stomach all six minutes of the smug and most loathsome Mr. Vaynar preaching about his foolproof plan for success interspersed with shots of him lifting weights, ski jumping, playing tennis, ballroom dancing, and karate chopping a stack of bricks:
The one thing Aleksey doesn't talk about is his undoubtedly freakishly tiny penis. His overcompensatory bench pressing and his willingness to audaciously lecture people about success from the standpoint of an unemployed failed "professional" athlete translate to one thing: SMALL WEINER. This guy gives the women unfortunate enough to sleep with him migraines more often than he gives them orgasms. I've got him pegged as one of those guys whose dick looks like a bee-stung thumb: swollen and lumpy-looking, and neither practically nor aesthetically pleasing. I'd wager he has some erectile dysfunction issues, as well. If he ever gets a job, I predict that his first purchase will be a bright red sportscar.
It appears that the staff in the UBS Warburg human resources office thought Aleksey was a obnoxious, self-satisfied asshole even by investment banker standards, because not only did they not hire him to work there, but they leaked the video to YouTube. Once this shit went viral, Aleksey threatened to sue UBS Warburg over the "stress" that it has caused to his family, as reported by the always hilarious folks at Fox News:
I've got news for you, Aleksey: when you make a video portraying yourself as the most pompous fucktard on the planet, you have NOBODY TO BLAME BUT ALEKSEY VAYNAR! Don't blame UBS Warburg because they and the rest of the world took your advice to "cross (losers) out of your life" and did just that to you. Man up and take responsibility for being a stupid asshole, you penis-challenged tool.
Labels: assholes, Morrissey'sHair, retard rage, the R-uh
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Razzy, not EVERYONE who acts like a big duche has a small weeny. You should come up with some new insult for them because the tiny dick thing is just getting old.
# posted by 
: 10/24/2006 5:36 PM
: 10/24/2006 5:36 PM
I disagree. The tiny dick thing is always relevant. Always has been, always will be, cause it goes without saying that tiny dick dudes do dumb, embarrassing, asshole shit. Herod I, Napolean, G.W. Bush, Alexsay Vaynar, etc…
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