Saturday, October 28, 2006
FYI regarding the MOST IMPORTANT EVENT OF THE YEAR
A monumental event is coming up. I have waited for YEARS for this event, and now the waiting is almost over. This is almost on par with the Seahawks going to the Super Bowl in terms of long-awaited hugeness. The BEST show ever is hitting the DVD shelves:
Yes! Yes! YES!!!! It's BEVERLY FUCKING HILLS, 90210! After years of anticipation, Bev Niner is finally going to take its appointed place in my DVD collection. Prepare yourself for the excitement of the pilot season, in which the Walsh family (uptight dad Jim, sympathetic mom Cindy, responsible boy twin Brandon, and tempestuous girl twin Brenda) moves from Minnesota to the now-infamous California zip code and experience all the highs and lows of life with their friends Kelly Taylor, Steve Sanders, Dylan McKay, Donna Martin, David Silver, and Andrea Zuckerman. During the first season, the gang tackles such issues as teenage alcoholism, coming of age, sex, pregnancy, gun control, the holocaust, hip hop, dyslexia, the lasting consequences of playing games like "skeletons in the closet", condoms, AIDS, shoplifting from Fred Segal, marital infidelity, the horror of maternal cocaine abuse at high school mother-daughter fashion shows, the phenomenon of karaoke, drunk driving, and date rape. Among the highlights:
Donna and David's burgeoning sexless relationship (lasting until David gets caught fucking Babyface's tour manager in a limo in season three, then rekindling and lasting again until David fucks Valerie, then rekindling and lasting again until David steals a check from Donna to pay rent for the Peach Pit After Dark, then rekindling again and resulting in their marriage)
The advent of Dylan and Kelly's sexually charged and extremely annoying relationship, which will go from casual screwing in empty cabanas at the Beverly Beach club to Dylan trying to trump Brandon's engagement ring with a trip around the world (Kelly eventually rejected both and chose self) to Dylan becoming a heroin addict in response to the mob hit death of his wife Antonia Marchette, AKA Rebecca Gayheart the Noxema fresh face girl. I think Kelly always liked him initially because he was a father figure, being the only 35-year-old student at West Beverly High.
The first rocky months of Brenda and Dylan's relationship, which was characterized by Brenda doing a lot of crying, yelling, running away, and shouting "Dylan, you're scaring me!" and Dylan angrily pacing, breaking flowerpots, sculptures, and various other handy ceramics, drinking airplane-sized bottles of bourbon out of various Bel Age Hotel minifridges, and boning Kelly on the side.
Andrea Zuckerman establishes herself as the official cast pain in the fucking ass. When not pining after Brandon, irritating everyone with her intellectual elitism and insufferable moral superiority, or ruining someone's life in the school paper, Andrea continues to piss everyone off by making constant "I told you so" faces and shopping for hideous scrunchies to both youth her up and tether down her mane rendered uncontrollable by decades of spiral perms and Nice 'n' Easy color treatments to cover up gray hairs.
The gang goes together like shoulder padded blazers, rayon floral scoopnecked peasant blouses, and high-waisted pleated jeans go with huge belts. Bev Niner is the best show ever!!!!
Oh, and by the way, my 28th birthday is just ten days after the Season One DVD drops (November 17th), and THIS
would make a *GREAT* present. So would THIS, which comes out the same day as the 9er DVDs. And so would lots and LOTS of money...
Yes! Yes! YES!!!! It's BEVERLY FUCKING HILLS, 90210! After years of anticipation, Bev Niner is finally going to take its appointed place in my DVD collection. Prepare yourself for the excitement of the pilot season, in which the Walsh family (uptight dad Jim, sympathetic mom Cindy, responsible boy twin Brandon, and tempestuous girl twin Brenda) moves from Minnesota to the now-infamous California zip code and experience all the highs and lows of life with their friends Kelly Taylor, Steve Sanders, Dylan McKay, Donna Martin, David Silver, and Andrea Zuckerman. During the first season, the gang tackles such issues as teenage alcoholism, coming of age, sex, pregnancy, gun control, the holocaust, hip hop, dyslexia, the lasting consequences of playing games like "skeletons in the closet", condoms, AIDS, shoplifting from Fred Segal, marital infidelity, the horror of maternal cocaine abuse at high school mother-daughter fashion shows, the phenomenon of karaoke, drunk driving, and date rape. Among the highlights:
Donna and David's burgeoning sexless relationship (lasting until David gets caught fucking Babyface's tour manager in a limo in season three, then rekindling and lasting again until David fucks Valerie, then rekindling and lasting again until David steals a check from Donna to pay rent for the Peach Pit After Dark, then rekindling again and resulting in their marriage)
The advent of Dylan and Kelly's sexually charged and extremely annoying relationship, which will go from casual screwing in empty cabanas at the Beverly Beach club to Dylan trying to trump Brandon's engagement ring with a trip around the world (Kelly eventually rejected both and chose self) to Dylan becoming a heroin addict in response to the mob hit death of his wife Antonia Marchette, AKA Rebecca Gayheart the Noxema fresh face girl. I think Kelly always liked him initially because he was a father figure, being the only 35-year-old student at West Beverly High.
The first rocky months of Brenda and Dylan's relationship, which was characterized by Brenda doing a lot of crying, yelling, running away, and shouting "Dylan, you're scaring me!" and Dylan angrily pacing, breaking flowerpots, sculptures, and various other handy ceramics, drinking airplane-sized bottles of bourbon out of various Bel Age Hotel minifridges, and boning Kelly on the side.
Andrea Zuckerman establishes herself as the official cast pain in the fucking ass. When not pining after Brandon, irritating everyone with her intellectual elitism and insufferable moral superiority, or ruining someone's life in the school paper, Andrea continues to piss everyone off by making constant "I told you so" faces and shopping for hideous scrunchies to both youth her up and tether down her mane rendered uncontrollable by decades of spiral perms and Nice 'n' Easy color treatments to cover up gray hairs.
The gang goes together like shoulder padded blazers, rayon floral scoopnecked peasant blouses, and high-waisted pleated jeans go with huge belts. Bev Niner is the best show ever!!!!
Oh, and by the way, my 28th birthday is just ten days after the Season One DVD drops (November 17th), and THIS
would make a *GREAT* present. So would THIS, which comes out the same day as the 9er DVDs. And so would lots and LOTS of money...Labels: aging, Bev Niner, I LOVE IT
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