Thursday, October 26, 2006
Nature is the new Hustler
Today I was skimming the Table of Contents from the most recent edition of Nature, and came upon a news article about one of the perennial hot topics in science: NIH grant money, and how hard it is to get it. We have a white board outside our lab where we hang up articles of interest we find in the science journals, so that we can read them while we drink coffee safely in the hallway (not in the lab). There hasn't been a new article on the old white board in a while, so I thought I'd print this one out and hang it up. Too bad I failed to notice what was in the "snapshot" section of the PDF file next to the last three paragraphs of the NIH grant article:
There's no way I can hang this up, even though it's excerpted from a TOTALLY legitimate and top-tier science journal like Nature. I'm always getting in trouble for being the lab pervert. Apart from having very LOUD conversations with J-Sexy about our sex lives on the regular, several times my boss has walked into lab right when I've been looking at Kate and Camilla's Nerve.com blog, and chastised me for looking at "porn" in lab. Another time, when we were helping J-Sexy prep for her student seminar, I referred to one of her slides measuring expression of interferon-stimulated genes by real-time quantitative PCR as "the money shot" of her presentation. Again, my boss said, only half-joking, "Why does everything you say have something to do with porn?!" If I were to hang up this picture of "two male giraffes indulging in roadside sex" including "anal penetration and ejaculation" and "two male whales (Eubalaena australis) engaged in sexual games" my reputation as a lewd and lascivious lech would only get worse.
I really don't mean to be such a fucking perv! I was just minding my own business, keeping up with the professional literature, trying to read an article about the ins and outs of NIH grant funding statistics, and then next thing I know there's a picture of what I think are whale penises (and by the way, EW, gross!) and buttfucking giraffes. It would be a lot easier to avoid the temptation to bring illicit shit into lab, however, if Nature would quit sneaking gay animal porn into their "News" section.
There's no way I can hang this up, even though it's excerpted from a TOTALLY legitimate and top-tier science journal like Nature. I'm always getting in trouble for being the lab pervert. Apart from having very LOUD conversations with J-Sexy about our sex lives on the regular, several times my boss has walked into lab right when I've been looking at Kate and Camilla's Nerve.com blog, and chastised me for looking at "porn" in lab. Another time, when we were helping J-Sexy prep for her student seminar, I referred to one of her slides measuring expression of interferon-stimulated genes by real-time quantitative PCR as "the money shot" of her presentation. Again, my boss said, only half-joking, "Why does everything you say have something to do with porn?!" If I were to hang up this picture of "two male giraffes indulging in roadside sex" including "anal penetration and ejaculation" and "two male whales (Eubalaena australis) engaged in sexual games" my reputation as a lewd and lascivious lech would only get worse.
I really don't mean to be such a fucking perv! I was just minding my own business, keeping up with the professional literature, trying to read an article about the ins and outs of NIH grant funding statistics, and then next thing I know there's a picture of what I think are whale penises (and by the way, EW, gross!) and buttfucking giraffes. It would be a lot easier to avoid the temptation to bring illicit shit into lab, however, if Nature would quit sneaking gay animal porn into their "News" section.
Labels: grad school bullshit, perversion, porn, science, vulgar display of faggotry
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I'm so loving the expressions on the giraffe's faces! They look pretty bored for two guys engaged in public sodamy.
# posted by 
: 10/26/2006 11:31 AM
: 10/26/2006 11:31 AM
I guess the new guy didn't know not to drop the soap. And anyway, I say you go right ahead and put this up in the lab - right next to one of the articles from Playboy.
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