Thursday, December 21, 2006
More slutty lesbian beauty queens!
For those of you who have been living under a rock, this past week Miss USA Tara Conner was allowed to keep her crown and swank Trump Place Upper East Side apartment for agreeing to undergo drug testing and enter rehab. Miss Universe pageant owner Donald Trump is currently bickering with Rosie O'Donnell over the appropriate response to accusations of wild behavior by Miss USA and Miss Teen USA. This hullabaloo started when one of my favorite New York papers, the New York Post, reported on Page Six that the Miss USAs were tearing up the Manhattan party scene, guzzling booze like Kelly Taylor's mom on Bev Niner, openly snorting lots of coke in various club bathrooms, and turning their pageant crib at Trump place into Lesbian Orgy Central. Would rather see pageant bitches encouraging people to reach for their dreams and prancing around in hideous evening gowns answering questions like "How would you change the world in a positive way?" or them piss-drunk, blowing lines off each others tits, and eating each other out in a coked-up frenzy?
Obviously, booze, drugs, and titties are WAY better than this bullshit! Those pearly white smiles might LOOK innocent, but we all know better. They're anticipating the coke, champagne, and cunnilingus which will ensue once this dumb photo shoot is over.
Well, it seems Miss USA and Miss Teen USA got off easy. Yet ANOTHER bitch from the Miss USA/Universe circuit has gotten in trouble for Girls Gone Wild-esque behavior, and she didn't get a slap on the wrist and a trip to rehab. Katie Rees, Miss Nevada 2007, was stripped of her crown for these photos:
Seriously, what is wrong with this? I don't see why just because Miss Nevada happens to get drunk and happens to drop her pants and then happens to make out with a couple of chicks she should get fired. I think this behavior is so commendable that she should automatically win the title of Miss USA just for being totally awesome. For whatever reason, the prudish assholes working for Trump disagree with me, and seem to want someone who doesn't get drunk and start stripping and exploring her sexuality. Booooorrrrrring. Now I remember why I hate beauty pageants.
It's a damn good thing I've never considered a career in pageant competition, because I can't even tell you how many photos of this ilk there are floating around of me out there. Of course, I'd probably trip on my gown and say something totally inappropriate during the question-answer segment, like, "I'm not trying to change the fucking world, asshole, I'm trying to be Miss USA! Or didn't you pay attention to the fact that this is the Miss USA Pageant and not a goddamn United Nations summit?! What the fuck do expect me to do with a goddamn pageant crown, depose Ahmadinejad?" Old photos of me hooking up with girls and showing my titties would be the least of my problems. Still, I guarantee that if there were more Miss Nevadas running around, more people would give a shit about the Miss USA pageant, starting with me. Just a suggestion, Donald Trump.
[EDIT: Holy shit! If you want to see the full cadre of Miss Nevada's skankity and SUPER NOT SAFE FOR WORK transgressions, click here. It's a lot worse than those relatively tame pictures I posted. Except by "worse" I mean "infinitely more awesome." Simulated oral sex! Nipple licking! Go now!]
Obviously, booze, drugs, and titties are WAY better than this bullshit! Those pearly white smiles might LOOK innocent, but we all know better. They're anticipating the coke, champagne, and cunnilingus which will ensue once this dumb photo shoot is over.
Well, it seems Miss USA and Miss Teen USA got off easy. Yet ANOTHER bitch from the Miss USA/Universe circuit has gotten in trouble for Girls Gone Wild-esque behavior, and she didn't get a slap on the wrist and a trip to rehab. Katie Rees, Miss Nevada 2007, was stripped of her crown for these photos:
Seriously, what is wrong with this? I don't see why just because Miss Nevada happens to get drunk and happens to drop her pants and then happens to make out with a couple of chicks she should get fired. I think this behavior is so commendable that she should automatically win the title of Miss USA just for being totally awesome. For whatever reason, the prudish assholes working for Trump disagree with me, and seem to want someone who doesn't get drunk and start stripping and exploring her sexuality. Booooorrrrrring. Now I remember why I hate beauty pageants.
It's a damn good thing I've never considered a career in pageant competition, because I can't even tell you how many photos of this ilk there are floating around of me out there. Of course, I'd probably trip on my gown and say something totally inappropriate during the question-answer segment, like, "I'm not trying to change the fucking world, asshole, I'm trying to be Miss USA! Or didn't you pay attention to the fact that this is the Miss USA Pageant and not a goddamn United Nations summit?! What the fuck do expect me to do with a goddamn pageant crown, depose Ahmadinejad?" Old photos of me hooking up with girls and showing my titties would be the least of my problems. Still, I guarantee that if there were more Miss Nevadas running around, more people would give a shit about the Miss USA pageant, starting with me. Just a suggestion, Donald Trump.
[EDIT: Holy shit! If you want to see the full cadre of Miss Nevada's skankity and SUPER NOT SAFE FOR WORK transgressions, click here. It's a lot worse than those relatively tame pictures I posted. Except by "worse" I mean "infinitely more awesome." Simulated oral sex! Nipple licking! Go now!]
Labels: beauty queens, hot chicks, media whores, perversion, porn, ridiculous absurdity, sex, sluts, TV
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Razzy, a fellow Manhattanite like yourself should know that Trump Place is located on the Upper West Side on Riverside Boulevard from 66th street to 72nd street. Don't mean to nitpick, I just hold you to such high standards. Although I would never myself set foot inside Trump Place (even though Trump actually doesn't own it, he just licensed his name to the development) you should know the buildings are a dog owner’s paradise because they allow dogs of all sizes in the building and are located right on the park. I too like to visit the buildings and piss on the sidewalk out front.
# posted by 
: 12/21/2006 10:46 PM
: 12/21/2006 10:46 PM
Howdy, bigbagel here. Too true about the pagaent circuit. Drunken girls-gone-wild escapades would definitely make it more watchable. That's not why I write though. I wanted to ask your opinion of something. I would not ask LL Cool Jew this question because she is an adoring fan, so I seek your sage wisdom. Here it goes: Do you think Shakira sounds like Kermit the Frog when she tries to get melodramtic in her songs? I mean, she's rediculously hot and all, but there's something about the way she sings that reminds me of my fourth favorite muppet (after Animal, Dr. Teeth and Beaker.) Listen especially to her most recent single. Just curious.
# posted by : 12/22/2006 10:04 AM
: 12/22/2006 10:04 AM
BigBagel, I think you're right. LL Cool Jew will never agree because she has all of Shakira's early solo-en-Espanol albums and she'll never say anything that resembles a bad word about her, but I think it's that sort of nasal thing that happens when she's singing particularly sentimental lyrics. Like any minute, Miss Piggy is going to jump into the song and start shrieking at her. Excellent observation. Her hips don't lie, because it ain't easy bein' green.
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