Monday, January 01, 2007
I wonder if she's also into chicks and blow?
LL Cool Jew just sent me the following e-mail:
From: LL Cool Jew (llcooljew@dirrtydirrtynewspaper.com)
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: you must blog, even briefly, about this!
so one of the things i've gotten into since living in mississippi - aside from 300-piece university marching bands - is beauty pageants.
i was looking at the miss america website (jan 29, baby!) and found this:
Miss Tennessee 2007 Profile
miss tennessee is seriously named "blaire ashley pancake."
can you imagine?
"mah naym is blaire ashley pancake of the chattanooga pancakes, not to be confused with those murfeesboro pancakes 'cuz thayer a bunch of trayush."
aka, the rich pancakes.
Obviously I immediately reassured LL Cool Jew that I would write up a little something about Ms. Pancake, simply on the grounds that I too have recently been intrigued by the whole beauty pageant thing. I am curious if the Miss America people are anything like the coked-up bisexual alcoholics duking it out in the Miss USA/Miss Universe/Miss Trump pageants. I get the feeling that Miss America is for the more refined, sophisticated ladies of the pageant world; in other words, the boring, uptight ones. I'd way rather party with the now-deposed Miss Nevada from the Miss USA competition). In fact, the antics that ended the former Miss Nevada's dreams of the Miss USA crown aren't a far cry from what went down at my New Year's festivities last night in glamorous South Hill-Puyallup/unincorporated Pierce County.
Anyway, Blaire Ashley Pancake has decided to put her UT (go Vols!) anthropology degree to good use and vie with the likes of the other super stunners in the Miss America pageant. She's already off to a great start with her two-pronged career ambition of barrister and "philanthroper." I don't know if a "philanthroper" is anything like a "philanthropist," but it certainly sounds impressive. I cannot wait until she starts using the family fortune for the good of mankind, erecting such august institutions as the Pancake Museum of Disco Ball Earrings and the Pancake Institute for Excessive Eyeliner Application. That shit will be on par with the Gates Foundation in terms of its impact on humanity.
I figure Blaire has a pretty good shot, given that some of the competition is pretty stank. Her opponents include my home state's representative, the former Miss Kitsap County and disturbingly feline Miss Washington (a comparison that is NOT helped by that leopard print collared halter she's rocking):
She'll also be taking on Kate Michael, Miss District of Columbia, who has formerly been made fun of by LL Cool Jew herself on RAZZY.org in the 2005 Hall of Heinous Hill Staffers!
I'm sure that the night before the pageant, they'll probably all be practicing how to walk in their busted evening gowns, but in a perfect world, some of these bitches would hit the clubs with the party animal sluts over at Miss USA, have one too many blow job shots, and end up flashing their tits and fingerbanging each other. Now those broads would get my vote, if I were judging anyway.
From: LL Cool Jew (llcooljew@dirrtydirrtynewspaper.com)
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: you must blog, even briefly, about this!
so one of the things i've gotten into since living in mississippi - aside from 300-piece university marching bands - is beauty pageants.
i was looking at the miss america website (jan 29, baby!) and found this:
Miss Tennessee 2007 Profile
miss tennessee is seriously named "blaire ashley pancake."
can you imagine?
"mah naym is blaire ashley pancake of the chattanooga pancakes, not to be confused with those murfeesboro pancakes 'cuz thayer a bunch of trayush."
aka, the rich pancakes.
Obviously I immediately reassured LL Cool Jew that I would write up a little something about Ms. Pancake, simply on the grounds that I too have recently been intrigued by the whole beauty pageant thing. I am curious if the Miss America people are anything like the coked-up bisexual alcoholics duking it out in the Miss USA/Miss Universe/Miss Trump pageants. I get the feeling that Miss America is for the more refined, sophisticated ladies of the pageant world; in other words, the boring, uptight ones. I'd way rather party with the now-deposed Miss Nevada from the Miss USA competition). In fact, the antics that ended the former Miss Nevada's dreams of the Miss USA crown aren't a far cry from what went down at my New Year's festivities last night in glamorous South Hill-Puyallup/unincorporated Pierce County.
Anyway, Blaire Ashley Pancake has decided to put her UT (go Vols!) anthropology degree to good use and vie with the likes of the other super stunners in the Miss America pageant. She's already off to a great start with her two-pronged career ambition of barrister and "philanthroper." I don't know if a "philanthroper" is anything like a "philanthropist," but it certainly sounds impressive. I cannot wait until she starts using the family fortune for the good of mankind, erecting such august institutions as the Pancake Museum of Disco Ball Earrings and the Pancake Institute for Excessive Eyeliner Application. That shit will be on par with the Gates Foundation in terms of its impact on humanity.
I figure Blaire has a pretty good shot, given that some of the competition is pretty stank. Her opponents include my home state's representative, the former Miss Kitsap County and disturbingly feline Miss Washington (a comparison that is NOT helped by that leopard print collared halter she's rocking):
She'll also be taking on Kate Michael, Miss District of Columbia, who has formerly been made fun of by LL Cool Jew herself on RAZZY.org in the 2005 Hall of Heinous Hill Staffers!
I'm sure that the night before the pageant, they'll probably all be practicing how to walk in their busted evening gowns, but in a perfect world, some of these bitches would hit the clubs with the party animal sluts over at Miss USA, have one too many blow job shots, and end up flashing their tits and fingerbanging each other. Now those broads would get my vote, if I were judging anyway.
Labels: beauty queens, hot chicks, LL Cool Jew, ridiculous absurdity, sluts
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One note to everyone, as a DC native.. Ms Michael has slept with half of the over 35-45 male population in DC. What a screamer!
# posted by 
: 2/13/2007 6:10 PM
: 2/13/2007 6:10 PM
I am moving to DC... Wait I live in Arlington.. Kate Michael for president
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# posted by : 2/13/2007 6:11 PM
: 2/13/2007 6:11 PM Links to this post:
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