Thursday, February 15, 2007
I didn't even have to go 88 miles per hour
My lab bench might resemble Doc Brown from Back to the Future's workshop (minus all the alarm clocks) in terms of messy disorganization, but unlike that esteemed fictional scientist, I haven't come up with anything as cool as the flux capacitor. However, I wondered if I hadn't accidentally found a way to travel through time without the help of a Delorean and plutonium-having Libyan terrorists, because when I checked my e-mail today, I could swear it was 1999 and I was back at Smith.
From: Some Feminazi Ho
To: All the Columbia Grad Students
Subject: LUNAFest Tonight! & ICECREAM for charity & the Vagina Monologues!
Come out and support CUMC's V-DAY Campaign--the fight (no pun intended!) against VIOLENCE towards women:
1.) CHECK OUT tonight's LUNAFEST: A screening of short films and documentaries by women. Here's their website for the list of movies:
http://www.lunabar.com/community/lunafest2006.cfm?DocumentId=406
DATE: Thurs, Feb 15
LOCATION: Hammer 401
Time: 8.30pm
DONATIONs will be greatly APPRECIATED! (5$ donation suggested)
All proceeds go to Project FAITH (an organization providing aid/services to victims of Domestic abuse) and to the Breast Cancer Fund.
2.) ICECREAM: the Cold Stone Creamery on 162 W 72nd will be having a fundraising event for CUMC's V-Day 2007. From the total of all sales made in the shop between 5 and 9 PM, 20% will be donated to Project FAITH.
3.) Also, be sure to check out the VAGINA MONOLOGUES next week:
Friday, Feb 23rd 10pm
Saturday, Feb 24th 7pm
Sunday, Feb 25th, 3pm (SPANISH show)
Thanks in advance for ALL your support!
My inbox was always blowing up with e-mails like this at Smith, advertising events with similarly stupid names. LUNAfest...why is "luna" always the prefix of choice for womynist bullshit like this? At Smith they even renamed ultimate frisbee "Lunadisc" to make it more girly. MUST feminist bitches try to rally us ladies together under the banner of our menstrual cycles? And that's an inaccurate use of the lunar calendar anyway; I don't know about other bitches, but my period is scheduled by Ortho Tri-Cyclen, not the phases of the goddamned moon. Furthermore, LUNAfest seems like a serious fucking drag. I checked out the LUNAfest website and these awesome "movies" they are going to show include the following:
-A music video starring some singer named Shubda Mudgal (seriously, her last name is MUDGAL) about this other chick who married an abusive asshole, how she gained the courage to leave his wife-beating ass, her struggles to get a driver's license, and her triumphant rebirth as...a VAN DRIVER in Ahmedabad, India.
-Plum Flower, a thrilling tale of female infanticide in rural China.
-Slip of the Tongue, a movie exploring body image...basically four minutes of BBWs who got rejected from the Dove Real Women ad campaign.
-Breached, a movie about some knocked up Mexican chick who goes through a bunch of border-hopping bullshit in hopes of giving birth in the good old U.S. of A. This sounds like something my high school Spanish teacher Senora "La Bruja" Rossi would have shown my class. She tormented me for a year with bad Chayanne videos and a slew of disturbing movies. She showed us this movie called El Norte once about the illegal alien children of a beheaded Guatemalan insurgent who are attacked by rats while crawling through Tijuana sewer tunnels to the U.S. and then subsequently die of plague. Seeing film was pointless for me learning more conversational Spanish (although I did pick up the useful verb chingar), but it traumatized me more than even the unsettling Julio Iglesias poster above her blackboard that seemed to watch you no matter where you went in the classroom.
-City Paradise, six minutes detailing the adventures of some Japanese woman who doesn't speak a word of English in London. She stumbles upon a secret world "inhabited by friendly little aliens and beautiful blossoms." I don't even want to know.
-Top of the Circle, a movie exploring the concept of the food chain and centering on one of the world's best meat products ever: bacon. If this movie were celebrating bacon for its sheer overpowering awesomeness, I'd be first in line to see it. However, I suspect this movie is going to diss bacon and encourage vegetarianism. Fuck that.
-Some movie about a woman who is totally going to die of breast cancer giving advice that her newborn daughter will supposedly find useful later. Tip #1: don't get fucking breast cancer.
-A documentary about an adopted Chinese girl named Kylie Goldstein, and how she's so American she plays baseball. BOOOOORRRRING.
-Agricultural Report, a cartoon that appears to be about a cow who becomes angry that her teats are being exploited by the nefarious dairy industry.
If LUNAfest wasn't already totally unappealing based on its name and the fact that the moment people start arriving, they're going to be bombarded with a bunch of depressing facts about smacked-up bitches and tit cancer only to watch a festival of shitty-ass movies for chicks. I guess that's why they're sending the fat armpit-hair-having bitches attending this thing for ice cream afterward, although that's poor compensation for putting up with the evening of torture-by-feminist-art-films. I'd be pissed as hell if I got through the cinematic selections of period-fest only to discover there isn't fucking booze, and told instead to go get some fucking ice cream on the Upper West Side in the middle of BITTER-COLD FEBRUARY. It's fucking sixteen degrees outside!
I guess the LUNAfest-throwing sluts running this show thought that the Columbia Medical Center campus would have only whet their appetites for estrogenic entertainment. Not only they are they having LUNAfest tonight (which, as I'm not feeling particularly hot today, I will decline to attend), but next week we have not one, not two, but THREE performances of The Vagina Monologues (!!!). And one of them is en espanol! Boy, I never thought I would get enough of this play where bitches sing the praises of their cooches...it never gets old. Back at Smith this event was so celebrated that the bitches running it hung two-story tall banners spelling out "VAGINA" on Seelye Hall to get the girls all excited for it.
Man, I am so glad this bullshit isn't limited to Smith College. I would feel like the dumb bitches at Columbia didn't care about doing pointless vadgetastic crap as much as the dumb bitches at Smith. Then again, I sort-of hoped that the dumb bitches at Columbia would be too busy doing their thesis projects in lab to spend their days putting together a week-long calendar of twatcentric events WITH NO ALCOHOL. I miss industry so much...when the hell am I going to get out of this ivory vagina tower?
From: Some Feminazi Ho
To: All the Columbia Grad Students
Subject: LUNAFest Tonight! & ICECREAM for charity & the Vagina Monologues!
Come out and support CUMC's V-DAY Campaign--the fight (no pun intended!) against VIOLENCE towards women:
1.) CHECK OUT tonight's LUNAFEST: A screening of short films and documentaries by women. Here's their website for the list of movies:
http://www.lunabar.com/community/lunafest2006.cfm?DocumentId=406
DATE: Thurs, Feb 15
LOCATION: Hammer 401
Time: 8.30pm
DONATIONs will be greatly APPRECIATED! (5$ donation suggested)
All proceeds go to Project FAITH (an organization providing aid/services to victims of Domestic abuse) and to the Breast Cancer Fund.
2.) ICECREAM: the Cold Stone Creamery on 162 W 72nd will be having a fundraising event for CUMC's V-Day 2007. From the total of all sales made in the shop between 5 and 9 PM, 20% will be donated to Project FAITH.
3.) Also, be sure to check out the VAGINA MONOLOGUES next week:
Friday, Feb 23rd 10pm
Saturday, Feb 24th 7pm
Sunday, Feb 25th, 3pm (SPANISH show)
Thanks in advance for ALL your support!
My inbox was always blowing up with e-mails like this at Smith, advertising events with similarly stupid names. LUNAfest...why is "luna" always the prefix of choice for womynist bullshit like this? At Smith they even renamed ultimate frisbee "Lunadisc" to make it more girly. MUST feminist bitches try to rally us ladies together under the banner of our menstrual cycles? And that's an inaccurate use of the lunar calendar anyway; I don't know about other bitches, but my period is scheduled by Ortho Tri-Cyclen, not the phases of the goddamned moon. Furthermore, LUNAfest seems like a serious fucking drag. I checked out the LUNAfest website and these awesome "movies" they are going to show include the following:
-A music video starring some singer named Shubda Mudgal (seriously, her last name is MUDGAL) about this other chick who married an abusive asshole, how she gained the courage to leave his wife-beating ass, her struggles to get a driver's license, and her triumphant rebirth as...a VAN DRIVER in Ahmedabad, India.
-Plum Flower, a thrilling tale of female infanticide in rural China.
-Slip of the Tongue, a movie exploring body image...basically four minutes of BBWs who got rejected from the Dove Real Women ad campaign.
-Breached, a movie about some knocked up Mexican chick who goes through a bunch of border-hopping bullshit in hopes of giving birth in the good old U.S. of A. This sounds like something my high school Spanish teacher Senora "La Bruja" Rossi would have shown my class. She tormented me for a year with bad Chayanne videos and a slew of disturbing movies. She showed us this movie called El Norte once about the illegal alien children of a beheaded Guatemalan insurgent who are attacked by rats while crawling through Tijuana sewer tunnels to the U.S. and then subsequently die of plague. Seeing film was pointless for me learning more conversational Spanish (although I did pick up the useful verb chingar), but it traumatized me more than even the unsettling Julio Iglesias poster above her blackboard that seemed to watch you no matter where you went in the classroom.
-City Paradise, six minutes detailing the adventures of some Japanese woman who doesn't speak a word of English in London. She stumbles upon a secret world "inhabited by friendly little aliens and beautiful blossoms." I don't even want to know.
-Top of the Circle, a movie exploring the concept of the food chain and centering on one of the world's best meat products ever: bacon. If this movie were celebrating bacon for its sheer overpowering awesomeness, I'd be first in line to see it. However, I suspect this movie is going to diss bacon and encourage vegetarianism. Fuck that.
-Some movie about a woman who is totally going to die of breast cancer giving advice that her newborn daughter will supposedly find useful later. Tip #1: don't get fucking breast cancer.
-A documentary about an adopted Chinese girl named Kylie Goldstein, and how she's so American she plays baseball. BOOOOORRRRING.
-Agricultural Report, a cartoon that appears to be about a cow who becomes angry that her teats are being exploited by the nefarious dairy industry.
If LUNAfest wasn't already totally unappealing based on its name and the fact that the moment people start arriving, they're going to be bombarded with a bunch of depressing facts about smacked-up bitches and tit cancer only to watch a festival of shitty-ass movies for chicks. I guess that's why they're sending the fat armpit-hair-having bitches attending this thing for ice cream afterward, although that's poor compensation for putting up with the evening of torture-by-feminist-art-films. I'd be pissed as hell if I got through the cinematic selections of period-fest only to discover there isn't fucking booze, and told instead to go get some fucking ice cream on the Upper West Side in the middle of BITTER-COLD FEBRUARY. It's fucking sixteen degrees outside!
I guess the LUNAfest-throwing sluts running this show thought that the Columbia Medical Center campus would have only whet their appetites for estrogenic entertainment. Not only they are they having LUNAfest tonight (which, as I'm not feeling particularly hot today, I will decline to attend), but next week we have not one, not two, but THREE performances of The Vagina Monologues (!!!). And one of them is en espanol! Boy, I never thought I would get enough of this play where bitches sing the praises of their cooches...it never gets old. Back at Smith this event was so celebrated that the bitches running it hung two-story tall banners spelling out "VAGINA" on Seelye Hall to get the girls all excited for it.
Man, I am so glad this bullshit isn't limited to Smith College. I would feel like the dumb bitches at Columbia didn't care about doing pointless vadgetastic crap as much as the dumb bitches at Smith. Then again, I sort-of hoped that the dumb bitches at Columbia would be too busy doing their thesis projects in lab to spend their days putting together a week-long calendar of twatcentric events WITH NO ALCOHOL. I miss industry so much...when the hell am I going to get out of this ivory vagina tower?
Labels: artfaggotry, Dumb Smith bitches, feminazism, retard rage, scathing indictments, stank vaginas
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ah, you missed it. the best part is that the espanol monologues show is cheaper. as if rosa the 171st street dishwasher was like, 'vag monologues, $10, no way jose fuck that shit....i'd only go for $6." fucking condescending wasp asses. let's go smoke a blunt in the front row and call out 'cultural differences' when the wasps complain. game razzle?
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# posted by 
: 2/16/2007 9:37 PM
: 2/16/2007 9:37 PM Links to this post:
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