Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sex offenders and the city
Tonight I was glad to see that there was a new episode of "To Catch a Predator" on, and it included some serious awesomeness like Chris Hansen telling one of the idiot pederasts whose internet kewlness landed him in the Dateline NBC web of righteous deceit "you wrote 'i want to taste your orgasm' TO A 14 YEAR OLD!". When another perverted creep started talking to the chunky decoy about doing her fat ass on the nearby pool table, Chris Hansen smugly narrated, "Fortunately, he never got to demonstrate his skill at billiards," then leaped into the room with unchecked gloating enthusiasm. Also, the voice-overs of the IM transcripts are fucking priceless. I don't know if there's an Emmy for approximating the sound of "lol" and distinguishing it from "rotflmao", but if there is, the folks on "TCaP" should get it hands down. It's totally fucking rad.
While "TCaP" will always entertain me, I think its golden age has passed. The predators are much more wary than they used to be. A lot of the would-be pervs chicken out before they go into the house and get simultaneously interrogated and morally browbeaten by the incomparable Mr. Chris Hansen. They know that their numerous IM transcripts reading "do u do anal lol" or "wil u suck my cock? kewlio" are going to get them in big trouble, so they leave without even getting out of their cars. Of course, the police then pick them up, but they've gotten wily and insist on their right to an attorney, ensuring that the interrogation back at the station house is boooorrrring. While I was impatiently admonishing the television to get some better predators for catching, I got to thinking.
All the predators on "TCaP" are preying upon children, who I hate. Granted, I'm not for kids getting raped or molested (I don't hate kids THAT much), but I don't believe that the only predators out there are just targeting kids. What about the predators who, say, lurk in the bushes in the hope of raping an impoverished grad student at St. Nicholas Park while she's walking her dogs? I'm not sure how Dateline could set up an entertaining show about catching them as there are no hilarious chat transcripts involved and it would be hard to lure them to a house with Kool-Aid set out on the kitchen island for their enjoyment while Chris Hansen lectures them for depravity, but I suspect there are just as many creeps trying to rape me as these dumb kids.
So I hit the internet to see if there's any kind of online sex offender registry, and what do you know? There is. New York has passed its own "Megan's Law", which was named for a girl in Jersey who was raped and murdered by the convicted sex offender who lived across the street. This law requires state law enforcement officials to release to the public the names, addresses, pictures, and details of the crimes, and in New York, they do this via the internet. I plugged in my zip code on the sex offender registry search page and was amazed at how many convicted predators have relocated to my hood after paying their debts to society up at Dannemora and Sing Sing. If Dateline ever does figure out a way to have a show dedicated to known perverts out and about in society, there's a whole bunch to choose from in historical Sugar Hill.
Meet Eddie Raymore:
He pretended to be a police officer so that he could overpower and brutally rape a 36-year-old woman. After doing 3 to 7 at the state's expense, he moved into the projects three blocks away from me. Awesome.
And this is Ronald Crosby:
According to his rap sheet, he did 15 years in state prison for attempting to rape a teenager in 1984 by attacking her with a "knife/cutting instrument (e.g. ax, ice pick, screwdriver, switchblade, Kung Fu stars, cane sword, etc.)". I guess that most of the sex crimes committed in New York City involving a "knife/cutting instrument" are committed by either Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Jet Li. I suspect that Ronald here probably went for the screwdriver or switchblade route over the cane sword or battle axe. Now he resides about 7 or 8 blocks away from me.
Living right down the street from Ronald is Hamilton Dejesus:
I don't even need to tell you that this skeezy-ass motherfucker raped an 11-year-old girl. The sagging face, the Dumbo-esque ears, the dully malevolent expression, the fact that there's some serious general not-quite-rightness about this guy...obviously he diddles kids. And for some reason, he only did nine years for it.
A mere two blocks away from me is Wilbert Harrison.
He might look like he's all sensitive and tearful, but he's probably crying for his own sorry ass doing 25 years for raping a woman at knifepoint. He did his entire sentence for being an assole.
Then we have Anthony Hayes, a fellow I not-affectionately call "Handlebars".
Apparently he used his appearance as the long-lost black grandson of Yosemite Sam to orchestrate molesting a seven year old in 2002. After doing the three-year max upstate, he moved in with his girlfriend (he has a girlfriend?!) about five blocks away.
I don't know if he's related to Handlebars Hayes above, but the next guy on the list is George Hayes.
After racking up a slew of rape and forcible sodomy convictions starting in 1983, he did 15 years and moved into the 135th Street Y. I can't wait until he hollers at me as I jog by one of these days.
When his dreams of a career impersonating Forest Whitaker failed to pan out, Derrick James decided to resort to plan B.
By "Plan B", I mean raping a 12-year-old girl and blaming it on his drug addiction. Derrick should have stuck with the Forest Whitaker career, because right now Forest is the Oscar favorite for his portrayal of Idi Amin, and Derrick would probably be getting lots of work. I'd say that paying homage to an ugly man portraying a sadistic warlord dictator is far preferable to committing tween rape and moving one measly block away from yours truly.
If you want to see an example of someone with an "obvious child molester" vibe, take a gander at Virgilio Lay.
He diddled two little girls and did a pathetic 60 days for it. I guess his group sessions went well. Anyway, he continues his recovery just a ways up St. Nicholas Ave from me.
And speaking of kiddie touchers, meet Andre Mathews.
After he was convicted for forcible sodomy on a 6-year-old girl, he did 11 years in state prison and then decided to move to my neighborhood two blocks from my place, where he'll undoubtedly pass the time by NOT plucking his unkempt monobrow. Fortunately, I don't think I've crossed paths in person with Andre despite the close proximity of his residence, because I have yet to see anyone so blatantly reminiscent of Mr. Potato Head loitering around the block.
Unlike the previous pedophiles, Jirel McClinton likes them barely illegal.
He physically overpowered and forced a 17-year-old in Poughkeepsie to perform some type of unspecified sex act. He did 6 months, and then moved three blocks away from me.
My neighbor ten blocks away, Eric McNeil, should be glad that his picture is so grainy.
I suspect that if the above image of Mr. McNeil were refined, he'd be recognized for his true identity: the cymbal-playing harbinger of death wind-up organ grinder monkey from the cover of Stephen King's Skeleton Crew. It's too bad that short story didn't wind up like some of Stephen King's other short stories as a vignette in the movie Creepshow, because when you try to rape a 16-year-old girl by holding a knife to her throat, a creepshow in the form of the New York Megan's Law Sex Offender Registry website is exactly what ensues.
Don't let the lazy eye fool you...Anthony Palmer is NOT a harmless simpleton.
After four years upstate for sexually assaulting a 12-year-old girl, Anthony Palmer moved to a building three blocks away.
Continuing to ensure that mustaches of this nature look impossibly creepy, Ricardo Pereira sexually assaulted a 15-year-old boy in the Bronx.
Now he lives one street over.
When he's not busy guarding Jabba's palace on Tatooine, Michael Pimble likes walks in the park, sunsets, and ass-raping young boys.
He pursues his interests and revels in his porcine visage three blocks away.
Over at the Adam Clayton Powell Houses, Hector Reynoso is waddling after all the underage girls.
He sexually abused some teenager, and now is looking forward to spring when he can scout the local parks and try out his new line for luring prospective victims: "Ever hear of Fat Joe? Well, he's my older brother."
It seems that Justin Guarini from "American Idol" season one had John Legend's love child, and said progeny grew up to be a child rapist named Darryl Smalls.
Correspondent with his level 3 (aka most likely to reoffend) offender rating, Smalls seems happy and not the least bit repentant about raping a 9-year-old. According to the New York Department of Criminal Justice, the terms of his release involve a mandate to "ENTER A SEX AFFENDERS PROGRAM, ENTER A SEX AFFENDERS PROGRAM." Despite the obvious emphasis implied by the capitalization and the repeating of the phrase, I can just see Smalls getting out of going to therapy on the basis that there is no such thing as a program for sex "affenders." I hate it when creeps slip through the cracks, especially when it's due to state justice department officials not being able to properly spell.
Don't think that senior citizens aren't representing in the neighborhood pervert cadre. Michael Vincze has that demographic covered.
This distinguished older gentleman raped 2 teenaged boys in another state in the late '80s, and now is trying to live out his sick pedophilic version of "Diff'rent Strokes" starring himself as Mr. Drummond five blocks from my crib.
And last but certainly not least, we have Christopher Williams.
This accomplished rapist of 15-year-old boys lives right by the deli two blocks away. I probably see him on late nights when the slightly closer deli is closed and I venture out in search of more Sugarfree Red Bull.
One thing that struck me about all my convicted neighborhood felons is that, with the exception of the bushy browed Conrad Bain up there, they're all REALLY SHORT, as in 5'7" or less. Now I have good reason to defend my "I don't fuck dudes under five-ten" platform with vigor and determination on the basis that anyone shorter might not only have a small penis, but could also be a convicted sex offender. Henceforth, whenever I see some skeezy-looking short dude leering at me on my street, I am going to double-check whether or not he's one of the creeps on this list.
While "TCaP" will always entertain me, I think its golden age has passed. The predators are much more wary than they used to be. A lot of the would-be pervs chicken out before they go into the house and get simultaneously interrogated and morally browbeaten by the incomparable Mr. Chris Hansen. They know that their numerous IM transcripts reading "do u do anal lol" or "wil u suck my cock? kewlio" are going to get them in big trouble, so they leave without even getting out of their cars. Of course, the police then pick them up, but they've gotten wily and insist on their right to an attorney, ensuring that the interrogation back at the station house is boooorrrring. While I was impatiently admonishing the television to get some better predators for catching, I got to thinking.
All the predators on "TCaP" are preying upon children, who I hate. Granted, I'm not for kids getting raped or molested (I don't hate kids THAT much), but I don't believe that the only predators out there are just targeting kids. What about the predators who, say, lurk in the bushes in the hope of raping an impoverished grad student at St. Nicholas Park while she's walking her dogs? I'm not sure how Dateline could set up an entertaining show about catching them as there are no hilarious chat transcripts involved and it would be hard to lure them to a house with Kool-Aid set out on the kitchen island for their enjoyment while Chris Hansen lectures them for depravity, but I suspect there are just as many creeps trying to rape me as these dumb kids.
So I hit the internet to see if there's any kind of online sex offender registry, and what do you know? There is. New York has passed its own "Megan's Law", which was named for a girl in Jersey who was raped and murdered by the convicted sex offender who lived across the street. This law requires state law enforcement officials to release to the public the names, addresses, pictures, and details of the crimes, and in New York, they do this via the internet. I plugged in my zip code on the sex offender registry search page and was amazed at how many convicted predators have relocated to my hood after paying their debts to society up at Dannemora and Sing Sing. If Dateline ever does figure out a way to have a show dedicated to known perverts out and about in society, there's a whole bunch to choose from in historical Sugar Hill.
Meet Eddie Raymore:
He pretended to be a police officer so that he could overpower and brutally rape a 36-year-old woman. After doing 3 to 7 at the state's expense, he moved into the projects three blocks away from me. Awesome.
And this is Ronald Crosby:
According to his rap sheet, he did 15 years in state prison for attempting to rape a teenager in 1984 by attacking her with a "knife/cutting instrument (e.g. ax, ice pick, screwdriver, switchblade, Kung Fu stars, cane sword, etc.)". I guess that most of the sex crimes committed in New York City involving a "knife/cutting instrument" are committed by either Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Jet Li. I suspect that Ronald here probably went for the screwdriver or switchblade route over the cane sword or battle axe. Now he resides about 7 or 8 blocks away from me.
Living right down the street from Ronald is Hamilton Dejesus:
I don't even need to tell you that this skeezy-ass motherfucker raped an 11-year-old girl. The sagging face, the Dumbo-esque ears, the dully malevolent expression, the fact that there's some serious general not-quite-rightness about this guy...obviously he diddles kids. And for some reason, he only did nine years for it.
A mere two blocks away from me is Wilbert Harrison.
He might look like he's all sensitive and tearful, but he's probably crying for his own sorry ass doing 25 years for raping a woman at knifepoint. He did his entire sentence for being an assole.
Then we have Anthony Hayes, a fellow I not-affectionately call "Handlebars".
Apparently he used his appearance as the long-lost black grandson of Yosemite Sam to orchestrate molesting a seven year old in 2002. After doing the three-year max upstate, he moved in with his girlfriend (he has a girlfriend?!) about five blocks away.
I don't know if he's related to Handlebars Hayes above, but the next guy on the list is George Hayes.
After racking up a slew of rape and forcible sodomy convictions starting in 1983, he did 15 years and moved into the 135th Street Y. I can't wait until he hollers at me as I jog by one of these days.
When his dreams of a career impersonating Forest Whitaker failed to pan out, Derrick James decided to resort to plan B.
By "Plan B", I mean raping a 12-year-old girl and blaming it on his drug addiction. Derrick should have stuck with the Forest Whitaker career, because right now Forest is the Oscar favorite for his portrayal of Idi Amin, and Derrick would probably be getting lots of work. I'd say that paying homage to an ugly man portraying a sadistic warlord dictator is far preferable to committing tween rape and moving one measly block away from yours truly.
If you want to see an example of someone with an "obvious child molester" vibe, take a gander at Virgilio Lay.
He diddled two little girls and did a pathetic 60 days for it. I guess his group sessions went well. Anyway, he continues his recovery just a ways up St. Nicholas Ave from me.
And speaking of kiddie touchers, meet Andre Mathews.
After he was convicted for forcible sodomy on a 6-year-old girl, he did 11 years in state prison and then decided to move to my neighborhood two blocks from my place, where he'll undoubtedly pass the time by NOT plucking his unkempt monobrow. Fortunately, I don't think I've crossed paths in person with Andre despite the close proximity of his residence, because I have yet to see anyone so blatantly reminiscent of Mr. Potato Head loitering around the block.
Unlike the previous pedophiles, Jirel McClinton likes them barely illegal.
He physically overpowered and forced a 17-year-old in Poughkeepsie to perform some type of unspecified sex act. He did 6 months, and then moved three blocks away from me.
My neighbor ten blocks away, Eric McNeil, should be glad that his picture is so grainy.
I suspect that if the above image of Mr. McNeil were refined, he'd be recognized for his true identity: the cymbal-playing harbinger of death wind-up organ grinder monkey from the cover of Stephen King's Skeleton Crew. It's too bad that short story didn't wind up like some of Stephen King's other short stories as a vignette in the movie Creepshow, because when you try to rape a 16-year-old girl by holding a knife to her throat, a creepshow in the form of the New York Megan's Law Sex Offender Registry website is exactly what ensues.
Don't let the lazy eye fool you...Anthony Palmer is NOT a harmless simpleton.
After four years upstate for sexually assaulting a 12-year-old girl, Anthony Palmer moved to a building three blocks away.
Continuing to ensure that mustaches of this nature look impossibly creepy, Ricardo Pereira sexually assaulted a 15-year-old boy in the Bronx.
Now he lives one street over.
When he's not busy guarding Jabba's palace on Tatooine, Michael Pimble likes walks in the park, sunsets, and ass-raping young boys.
He pursues his interests and revels in his porcine visage three blocks away.
Over at the Adam Clayton Powell Houses, Hector Reynoso is waddling after all the underage girls.
He sexually abused some teenager, and now is looking forward to spring when he can scout the local parks and try out his new line for luring prospective victims: "Ever hear of Fat Joe? Well, he's my older brother."
It seems that Justin Guarini from "American Idol" season one had John Legend's love child, and said progeny grew up to be a child rapist named Darryl Smalls.
Correspondent with his level 3 (aka most likely to reoffend) offender rating, Smalls seems happy and not the least bit repentant about raping a 9-year-old. According to the New York Department of Criminal Justice, the terms of his release involve a mandate to "ENTER A SEX AFFENDERS PROGRAM, ENTER A SEX AFFENDERS PROGRAM." Despite the obvious emphasis implied by the capitalization and the repeating of the phrase, I can just see Smalls getting out of going to therapy on the basis that there is no such thing as a program for sex "affenders." I hate it when creeps slip through the cracks, especially when it's due to state justice department officials not being able to properly spell.
Don't think that senior citizens aren't representing in the neighborhood pervert cadre. Michael Vincze has that demographic covered.
This distinguished older gentleman raped 2 teenaged boys in another state in the late '80s, and now is trying to live out his sick pedophilic version of "Diff'rent Strokes" starring himself as Mr. Drummond five blocks from my crib.
And last but certainly not least, we have Christopher Williams.
This accomplished rapist of 15-year-old boys lives right by the deli two blocks away. I probably see him on late nights when the slightly closer deli is closed and I venture out in search of more Sugarfree Red Bull.
One thing that struck me about all my convicted neighborhood felons is that, with the exception of the bushy browed Conrad Bain up there, they're all REALLY SHORT, as in 5'7" or less. Now I have good reason to defend my "I don't fuck dudes under five-ten" platform with vigor and determination on the basis that anyone shorter might not only have a small penis, but could also be a convicted sex offender. Henceforth, whenever I see some skeezy-looking short dude leering at me on my street, I am going to double-check whether or not he's one of the creeps on this list.
Labels: assholes, comeuppance, kewlness, NYC, oh the horror, perversion, TV
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How on earth can anyone be against the death penalty when it comes to recidivist sex offenders. Actually that's redundant considering that sex offenders are uniformly repeat offenders. I've never been molested/raped nor has anyone I know but I'd pay to see each one of these motherfuckers tortured and killed.
# posted by 
: 2/14/2007 10:55 AM
: 2/14/2007 10:55 AM
Actually, Razzy, I am kind of geeked by the number of TCaP suspects who do NOT invoke their right to counsel. Nonetheless, it provides great entertainment. I especially loved the guy last night who was only there to "preach" to the tubby tard. Chris Hansen said something along the lines of: "I want you to suck my cock. Is that Old Testament or New Testament?" HELLO! It's totally Old!
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# posted by : 2/14/2007 1:56 PM
: 2/14/2007 1:56 PM Links to this post:
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