Monday, March 05, 2007
Here's the beef
Most of the e-mail I get can be classified into several general categories:
1. People disputing or encouraging incorporation of various Hot Jews on the list
2. People telling me they love the site because X blog posting was hilarious
3. People telling me they hate the site because X blog posting was offensive
4. People taking issue with the extended coverage of 50 Cent on my "rap beefs" page
Today I received an e-mail from the latter category. These "rap beefs" e-mails are always pretty similar in that, after sifting through a sea of misspellings and aberrant punctuation, I glean that the author is trying to prove to me that my boyfriend Curtis Jackson is insincere, untalented, and a snitch because either Jadakiss/the Game/Fat Joe/Nas beat him in a mythical rap battle that may or may not have happened. In particular, the Jadakiss supporters are especially feisty, and I'm often about this close to reminding them that despite having all sorts of "realness" attributed to him by his fans, he did appear on the aural abortion known as "Jenny from the Block". When your ass appears in a video where the main storyline includes Ben Affleck pumping gas into his and J-Lo's Bentley, I think you should lose a few points for street credibility, but whatever.
In any event, these e-mails are all usually really indignant, question my taste in music and my intellect, and demand that I change it. Then there's some sort of vaguely threatening sign-off, such as "quit suckin fiddys dick bitch" or "i dare u 2 respond u probly a chickenhead snitch just like 50 u fuckin fag". I always respond, inform the e-mailer that my website contains MY opinion, and if they think something different should be on the internet, they should start their own fucking website. I also typically make a choice remark or two about their literacy. Today's e-mail was no exception, although, judging from the e-mail address, this hater is Canadian:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
Subject: This is from Tony Vedovato
I'm sayen that your fucken veiw on the beefs are wack I think you need
to get of 50's dick and you sound like a fag Fat Joe Jadakiss and
especially the mothafucken game ripped 50 to peices he is a snitch he
does live in conneticut haven you ever seen stop snitchin stop lien,
shit if you have the balls email me back justify your faggy ass reviews
Okay, Tony Vedovato/Peta Pemberton (and by the way, don't BOTH of those names sound like comic book characters?), no problem. I'll e-mail your ass back AND post your correspondence on my website.
To: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: RE: This is from Tony Vedovato
Well, I don't "have the balls" because I'm not male (and I think my status as a female
likewise answers your charges that I am a gay man), but certainly I have the courage to
respond via e-mail to your assertion that my opinions are "wack." I can justify my
"faggy ass reviews" quite easily and succinctly: it's my website, and they're my
opinions. If you wish to figuratively fellate Fat Joe, Jadakiss, and "especially the
mothafucken Game" and talk shit about my boyfriend Curtis, then I suggest starting your
own online monument to useless bullshit, because I don't change my opinions based on
getting partially incomprehensible e-mails (ie: I have no idea what a "lien" has to do in
relation to snitching, but somehow I suspect it's not the legal freezing of an account or
property to secure payment of a debt).
Another opinion I have is that you need to come up with a more diverse array of insults
than simply the several variations of "fag" you use here. I would also strongly suggest
a review of basic grammar and spelling, starting with "i before e except after c."
Those are my "fucken veiws".
Razzy
I can't wait to see if Peta/Tony likewise has the requisite balls to respond. Man, I love me a good e-mail freestyle battle.
1. People disputing or encouraging incorporation of various Hot Jews on the list
2. People telling me they love the site because X blog posting was hilarious
3. People telling me they hate the site because X blog posting was offensive
4. People taking issue with the extended coverage of 50 Cent on my "rap beefs" page
Today I received an e-mail from the latter category. These "rap beefs" e-mails are always pretty similar in that, after sifting through a sea of misspellings and aberrant punctuation, I glean that the author is trying to prove to me that my boyfriend Curtis Jackson is insincere, untalented, and a snitch because either Jadakiss/the Game/Fat Joe/Nas beat him in a mythical rap battle that may or may not have happened. In particular, the Jadakiss supporters are especially feisty, and I'm often about this close to reminding them that despite having all sorts of "realness" attributed to him by his fans, he did appear on the aural abortion known as "Jenny from the Block". When your ass appears in a video where the main storyline includes Ben Affleck pumping gas into his and J-Lo's Bentley, I think you should lose a few points for street credibility, but whatever.
In any event, these e-mails are all usually really indignant, question my taste in music and my intellect, and demand that I change it. Then there's some sort of vaguely threatening sign-off, such as "quit suckin fiddys dick bitch" or "i dare u 2 respond u probly a chickenhead snitch just like 50 u fuckin fag". I always respond, inform the e-mailer that my website contains MY opinion, and if they think something different should be on the internet, they should start their own fucking website. I also typically make a choice remark or two about their literacy. Today's e-mail was no exception, although, judging from the e-mail address, this hater is Canadian:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
From: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
Subject: This is from Tony Vedovato
I'm sayen that your fucken veiw on the beefs are wack I think you need
to get of 50's dick and you sound like a fag Fat Joe Jadakiss and
especially the mothafucken game ripped 50 to peices he is a snitch he
does live in conneticut haven you ever seen stop snitchin stop lien,
shit if you have the balls email me back justify your faggy ass reviews
Okay, Tony Vedovato/Peta Pemberton (and by the way, don't BOTH of those names sound like comic book characters?), no problem. I'll e-mail your ass back AND post your correspondence on my website.
To: Peta Pemberton (nakitap@shaw.ca)
From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: RE: This is from Tony Vedovato
Well, I don't "have the balls" because I'm not male (and I think my status as a female
likewise answers your charges that I am a gay man), but certainly I have the courage to
respond via e-mail to your assertion that my opinions are "wack." I can justify my
"faggy ass reviews" quite easily and succinctly: it's my website, and they're my
opinions. If you wish to figuratively fellate Fat Joe, Jadakiss, and "especially the
mothafucken Game" and talk shit about my boyfriend Curtis, then I suggest starting your
own online monument to useless bullshit, because I don't change my opinions based on
getting partially incomprehensible e-mails (ie: I have no idea what a "lien" has to do in
relation to snitching, but somehow I suspect it's not the legal freezing of an account or
property to secure payment of a debt).
Another opinion I have is that you need to come up with a more diverse array of insults
than simply the several variations of "fag" you use here. I would also strongly suggest
a review of basic grammar and spelling, starting with "i before e except after c."
Those are my "fucken veiws".
Razzy
I can't wait to see if Peta/Tony likewise has the requisite balls to respond. Man, I love me a good e-mail freestyle battle.
Labels: 50 cent, correspondence, defiance, grammar gestapo, rap, Razzy Haters, retard rage, scathing indictments
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