Monday, April 02, 2007
I'm only happy when it rains dead animals
So my favorite organization in the world, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (except human beings), has enlisted the help of some HUGE names to front their typical attemptedly shocking campaign. I know that PETA pulls all kinds of shady shit, like breaking into private property and destroying shit, using guerilla ambush tactics to disrupt everything from charity auctions to dairy farmer conventions, and distracting people from their preachy, superior message with naked sluts like Pam Anderson. However, nobody told me that PETA can actually manipulate the fabric of space-time. They must be able to, however, because if this latest piece of angry animal propaganda is any indication, we've gone back in time to 1994, when this prostitute was still marginally relevant:
If you can tear your eyes away from the skinned fox or whatever, you might recognize the floor-to-ceiling curtain-wearing bitch as Shirley Manson, lead singer of Garbage. Apparently she hasn't been working much in the last decade or so, and thus she had some time on her hands to be PETA's latest celebrity asshole.
I would walk up to this ho wearing a chin-to-chocha mink and tell her to quit giving me that disapproving look, and then I'd make some fox tartare and eat it in front of her. Last time I checked, I didn't give a fuck about garnering Shirley Manson's approval, even when it was 1994 and I was wearing a flannel shirt and rocking a 107.7 The End (Seattle alternative station) bumper sticker on my Jansport backpack. It doesn't bother me in the least that the weasel-like, hole-dwelling mammals they use for fur have muscles under their shiny, pretty coats, and it doesn't bother me that Shirley Manson is trying to discourage me from wearing those coats. Shirley Manson should be working harder at reminding everyone who the fuck she even is.
I'd like to know where did the idiot vegans who made this ad got that skinned animal from. Either they broke into a fur farm and stole it, or they killed and skinned an innocent animal to make their point. Whichever method they used, isn't either one just a LITTLE hypocritical? It seems that cruelty to animals went into making their stupid ad, which isn't particularly fitting with their mantra of "ethics". Then again, PETA's "ethics" involve committing a variety of crimes against people, like destruction of property, assault, burglary, etc., so the consistency of their views on ethics are highly questionable.
MAYBE the only person who might get the point of this ad without being totally pissed off at PETA is Kathleen, the chick with the big hair from this cycle of "America's Next Top Model", who was supposed to pretend to be an anti-fur activist in a photo shoot and had no idea what to do. It literally never occurred to her that people oppose fur, so she just stood there blinking at Mr. J and the photographer, totally confused about why she was supposed to pose with a bunch of red paint cans. At judging, Kathleen explained that she's not for killing animals, but had no problem with fur that was taken from animals "dying of natural causes in the forest." Apparently, she thought the fur industry obtains its raw materials by scouring the wilderness for random animals that died of old age, or by scraping roadkill off our nation's highways. I thought that was hilarious, although Twiggy, an anti-fur activist, tore her a new one, saying, "Well, that's NOT how it happens, DEARIE," and successfully appealed to Tyra to send her ass home for being stupid. Kathleen is the only person on the planet who might look at this ad and say, "Holy shit, that's what an animal looks like after it's been liberated of its fur?! I'm never wearing a dog fur-trimmed Rocawear hoodie jacket again!" Everyone else is either already on PETA's side or like me, hating on PETA for being self-righteous, hypocritical assholes who clearly have a very loose understanding of "ethics."
Just to show PETA and Shirley Manson how much I don't give a fuck that there's a living animal under a GORGEOUS fur coat, let me remind them what I do all day:
Here's the rest of my poliovirus plaque assay spinal cord homogenate prep:
Shirley Manson and PETA can eat me like I'm going to go eat some veal or foie gras.
I would walk up to this ho wearing a chin-to-chocha mink and tell her to quit giving me that disapproving look, and then I'd make some fox tartare and eat it in front of her. Last time I checked, I didn't give a fuck about garnering Shirley Manson's approval, even when it was 1994 and I was wearing a flannel shirt and rocking a 107.7 The End (Seattle alternative station) bumper sticker on my Jansport backpack. It doesn't bother me in the least that the weasel-like, hole-dwelling mammals they use for fur have muscles under their shiny, pretty coats, and it doesn't bother me that Shirley Manson is trying to discourage me from wearing those coats. Shirley Manson should be working harder at reminding everyone who the fuck she even is.
I'd like to know where did the idiot vegans who made this ad got that skinned animal from. Either they broke into a fur farm and stole it, or they killed and skinned an innocent animal to make their point. Whichever method they used, isn't either one just a LITTLE hypocritical? It seems that cruelty to animals went into making their stupid ad, which isn't particularly fitting with their mantra of "ethics". Then again, PETA's "ethics" involve committing a variety of crimes against people, like destruction of property, assault, burglary, etc., so the consistency of their views on ethics are highly questionable.
MAYBE the only person who might get the point of this ad without being totally pissed off at PETA is Kathleen, the chick with the big hair from this cycle of "America's Next Top Model", who was supposed to pretend to be an anti-fur activist in a photo shoot and had no idea what to do. It literally never occurred to her that people oppose fur, so she just stood there blinking at Mr. J and the photographer, totally confused about why she was supposed to pose with a bunch of red paint cans. At judging, Kathleen explained that she's not for killing animals, but had no problem with fur that was taken from animals "dying of natural causes in the forest." Apparently, she thought the fur industry obtains its raw materials by scouring the wilderness for random animals that died of old age, or by scraping roadkill off our nation's highways. I thought that was hilarious, although Twiggy, an anti-fur activist, tore her a new one, saying, "Well, that's NOT how it happens, DEARIE," and successfully appealed to Tyra to send her ass home for being stupid. Kathleen is the only person on the planet who might look at this ad and say, "Holy shit, that's what an animal looks like after it's been liberated of its fur?! I'm never wearing a dog fur-trimmed Rocawear hoodie jacket again!" Everyone else is either already on PETA's side or like me, hating on PETA for being self-righteous, hypocritical assholes who clearly have a very loose understanding of "ethics."
Just to show PETA and Shirley Manson how much I don't give a fuck that there's a living animal under a GORGEOUS fur coat, let me remind them what I do all day:
Here's the rest of my poliovirus plaque assay spinal cord homogenate prep:
Shirley Manson and PETA can eat me like I'm going to go eat some veal or foie gras.
Labels: assholes, media whores, mice, overcompensation, retard rage, scathing indictments, science
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Garbage lived up to their name but Shirley Manson was and is a hottie. ;)
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# posted by 
: 4/02/2007 6:54 PM
: 4/02/2007 6:54 PM Links to this post:
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