Thursday, March 22, 2007
Why I hate animal rights activists
At the Berlin Zoo a while back, one of the polar bears gave birth to this cute little cub and promptly abandoned it for no good reason except that's what polar bears do. They're really vicious,and from what the Discovery Channel tells me, the cub was lucky not to have been eaten by his mother.
Anyway, a kindhearted zookeeper adopted the cub instead and is rearing it. The zoo has named him Knut and he's currently Germany's biggest star. I can see why...the little guy is ADORABLE.
I usually hate cute stuff, but there's no way I can find anything bad to say about Knut. So far, everyone I've showed Knut's picture to has agreed except J-Sexy, who scoffed, "Ugh, it looks like a dog. It probably smells disgosting." J-Sexy does not like pets. I know that Knut will grow up into a vicious killer three times my size (look at his huge paws!), but right now he's the sweetest little furball on the planet.
Leave it to the fucking animal rights people to shit all over Knut. I hate animal rights people, and it's not because I hate animals. Obviously I love dogs and consider Caesar and Chingy! to be my children, and I love other animals too. They are responsible for most of my favorite foods: steak, cheese, ice cream, eggs, pork chops, bacon, sausage, pepperoni, etc. Also, though they cause me limitless grief at work and infuriate me by infesting my apartment, mice will ultimately help me get my ass out of grad school. And I never get tired of looking at taxidermied beasts at the Museum of Natural History. I love taxidermied animals so much that I have one on my wall at home. Furthermore, I love other animal products, like leather and fur. I can't afford any fur, but you bet your ass once I'm fabulously wealthy I'll make like Lil' Kim and "rock colorful minks". Maybe I'll make like her and get hooked up with a custom Karl Lagerfeld chinchilla bikini. That would be so hot, not even a little bit because it would piss people off with its ridiculousness.
Anyway, animal rights activists are always preaching against the things I like most about animals: eating them, wearing them, and utilizing them in my graduate research. In college I took this bullshit class called "Social Ethics" that everyone took because you never had to attend and the professor allegedly considered it unethical to give grades lower than B so long as you wrote one paper at the end of term. I wrote my paper on how extreme environmental activists were unethical, and one of my prime examples was a group of animal rights terrorists who "liberated" all the minks and ermines at a fur farm. This resulted in the prompt devastation of the local ecosystem, because all the freed animals are basically weasels, and they ate all the voles, chipmunks, birds, and other unlucky fauna in their paths. Animal rights activists act as though they know everything about what's acceptable and what's not, and thus are above the law. They can throw paint on people, assault people, destroy people's possessions, burglarize and vandalize people's property, etc., and they feel entitled to do so. They will not let anyone stand in their way when it comes to being destructive fucktards often violently defending their radical revisionist notions about the food chain.
As a biologist, I think animal rights activists are totally fucking idiotic. From a strictly Darwinian standpoint, there is nothing more important in nature than preservation of one's own species, and the animal rights activists seem to be concerned about every animal EXCEPT Homo sapiens. However, in the case of Knut, at least one animal rights group has suddenly decided to take a selective interest in nature's way and insist that the Berlin Zoo treated little Knut inhumanely by not allowing him to die of exposure when his mother rejected him. Because that's what would have happened in the wild, it's what should happen at the zoo, as well.
Some self-righteous dickhead named Frank Albrecht said, "The zoo must kill the bear. Feeding by hand is not species-appropriate but a gross violation of animal protection laws." I don't know about the laws in Germany, but the last time I checked, it's considered cruelty to starve a perfectly healthy animal. Furthermore, concerns that it would be humiliating for Knut to be raised as a "pet" are ridiculous since I doubt they're going to fly Knut off to Greenland or Alaska or wherever polar bears live when he's grown up. He lives in a zoo, so who cares if he's going to act like a normal wild polar bear. His vet says that not only is it stupid to suggest that polar bears like company since in the wild, they are mostly solitary, but that Knut's future will help polar bears all over the world. Knut will be useful as a healthy stud for making more polar bears. Being that polar bears are an ENDANGERED SPECIES, allowing Knut to grow old and bust Knuts all over the German captive polar bear bitches would potentially help repopulation efforts. So what's more "inhumane"? Allowing a perfectly healthy, cuddly little puff of sweetness like Knut die of exposure because his mom's an indifferent whore, or providing him with world-class care and a healthy diet so that he can grow up to professionally impregnate all the lucky lady polar bears in Deutschland.
If there's any justice in the world, they'd just hand-feed Frank Albrecht and all the other assholes that have confused animal welfare with hating on cute baby animals to Knut. If Frank had his way, Knut would probably be trim on a Sean John hoodie right about now. Animal protection, my ass.
Anyway, a kindhearted zookeeper adopted the cub instead and is rearing it. The zoo has named him Knut and he's currently Germany's biggest star. I can see why...the little guy is ADORABLE.
I usually hate cute stuff, but there's no way I can find anything bad to say about Knut. So far, everyone I've showed Knut's picture to has agreed except J-Sexy, who scoffed, "Ugh, it looks like a dog. It probably smells disgosting." J-Sexy does not like pets. I know that Knut will grow up into a vicious killer three times my size (look at his huge paws!), but right now he's the sweetest little furball on the planet.
Leave it to the fucking animal rights people to shit all over Knut. I hate animal rights people, and it's not because I hate animals. Obviously I love dogs and consider Caesar and Chingy! to be my children, and I love other animals too. They are responsible for most of my favorite foods: steak, cheese, ice cream, eggs, pork chops, bacon, sausage, pepperoni, etc. Also, though they cause me limitless grief at work and infuriate me by infesting my apartment, mice will ultimately help me get my ass out of grad school. And I never get tired of looking at taxidermied beasts at the Museum of Natural History. I love taxidermied animals so much that I have one on my wall at home. Furthermore, I love other animal products, like leather and fur. I can't afford any fur, but you bet your ass once I'm fabulously wealthy I'll make like Lil' Kim and "rock colorful minks". Maybe I'll make like her and get hooked up with a custom Karl Lagerfeld chinchilla bikini. That would be so hot, not even a little bit because it would piss people off with its ridiculousness.
Anyway, animal rights activists are always preaching against the things I like most about animals: eating them, wearing them, and utilizing them in my graduate research. In college I took this bullshit class called "Social Ethics" that everyone took because you never had to attend and the professor allegedly considered it unethical to give grades lower than B so long as you wrote one paper at the end of term. I wrote my paper on how extreme environmental activists were unethical, and one of my prime examples was a group of animal rights terrorists who "liberated" all the minks and ermines at a fur farm. This resulted in the prompt devastation of the local ecosystem, because all the freed animals are basically weasels, and they ate all the voles, chipmunks, birds, and other unlucky fauna in their paths. Animal rights activists act as though they know everything about what's acceptable and what's not, and thus are above the law. They can throw paint on people, assault people, destroy people's possessions, burglarize and vandalize people's property, etc., and they feel entitled to do so. They will not let anyone stand in their way when it comes to being destructive fucktards often violently defending their radical revisionist notions about the food chain.
As a biologist, I think animal rights activists are totally fucking idiotic. From a strictly Darwinian standpoint, there is nothing more important in nature than preservation of one's own species, and the animal rights activists seem to be concerned about every animal EXCEPT Homo sapiens. However, in the case of Knut, at least one animal rights group has suddenly decided to take a selective interest in nature's way and insist that the Berlin Zoo treated little Knut inhumanely by not allowing him to die of exposure when his mother rejected him. Because that's what would have happened in the wild, it's what should happen at the zoo, as well.
Some self-righteous dickhead named Frank Albrecht said, "The zoo must kill the bear. Feeding by hand is not species-appropriate but a gross violation of animal protection laws." I don't know about the laws in Germany, but the last time I checked, it's considered cruelty to starve a perfectly healthy animal. Furthermore, concerns that it would be humiliating for Knut to be raised as a "pet" are ridiculous since I doubt they're going to fly Knut off to Greenland or Alaska or wherever polar bears live when he's grown up. He lives in a zoo, so who cares if he's going to act like a normal wild polar bear. His vet says that not only is it stupid to suggest that polar bears like company since in the wild, they are mostly solitary, but that Knut's future will help polar bears all over the world. Knut will be useful as a healthy stud for making more polar bears. Being that polar bears are an ENDANGERED SPECIES, allowing Knut to grow old and bust Knuts all over the German captive polar bear bitches would potentially help repopulation efforts. So what's more "inhumane"? Allowing a perfectly healthy, cuddly little puff of sweetness like Knut die of exposure because his mom's an indifferent whore, or providing him with world-class care and a healthy diet so that he can grow up to professionally impregnate all the lucky lady polar bears in Deutschland.
If there's any justice in the world, they'd just hand-feed Frank Albrecht and all the other assholes that have confused animal welfare with hating on cute baby animals to Knut. If Frank had his way, Knut would probably be trim on a Sean John hoodie right about now. Animal protection, my ass.
Labels: assholes, ranting, retard rage, scathing indictments
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"]I know that Knut will grow up into a vicious killer three times my size (look at his huge paws!)"
Lil' Kim is three times your size. An adult polar bear is more like 10x your size.
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Lil' Kim is three times your size. An adult polar bear is more like 10x your size.
# posted by 
: 3/24/2007 9:36 AM
: 3/24/2007 9:36 AM Links to this post:
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