RazzyBlog: I am a rarse clark, whatever that is

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I am a rarse clark, whatever that is

On account of recent out-of-town guests and LL Cool Jew's nuptials, I've been neglecting the site this past week, but that hasn't stopped the haters! I guess they took advantage of this rare period of silence from me to speak their minds. Someone complained in the comments that my "journal entries" are boring. To that end, I have upcoming stories about strippers, scotch, my amazing breasts, and lesbian sex, so, Dear Diary, be patient until I can bring that noise. Also, my e-mail had this waiting gem from yet another 50 Cent hater taking issue with my conclusions in the World's Greatest Rap Beefs section:

From: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
Subject: You're a retard
Claiming that 50 cent fucking wis every beef, even with some shitty excuses
like "Kim's in jail and So is Shyne so 50 wins" What the fuck is that you
rarse clark?

There isn't even beef from Shynes point of view and if you did your fucking
research G Unit keeps trying to sign him to their records, Shyne just keeps
telling them to get the fuck off his dick as he won't be involved in the
shit G unit keeps putting their artists in so 50 Cent ordered a verbal
assault on him. No other track was released by Shyne as he's in fucking
prison, only an interview where he states thet 50 Cent is a two faced mutha
fucka.

How is that beef you idgit?

Get of 50's dick.

I find these e-mails amusing because people are always so indignant that I like 50 Cent. I don't think people ever realize that my fondness for my boyfriend Curtis is more due to his humorous antics as opposed to his prowess at rap. I did, however, enjoy the rather Biblical-sounding "get of 50's dick." That sounds like some sort of antiquated version of the Liturgy of the Eucharist: "take this all of you, and eat of it, for this is my body which has been given up for you...do this in memory of me." I think it more likely that Benet's inferior typing skills resulted in omission of the letter "f" rather than a subtle reference to the transubstantiation of the host, but I couldn't resist making a crack about it in my reply.

From: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)
To: benet thomas (outlawzbenet@gmail.com)
Subject: RE: You're a retard
Well, Benet, since this is approximately the 50th poorly composed e-mail I've received disputing my assertions concerning the venerable Mr. Curtis Jackson, I have a ready answer: it's my fucking opinion. If you would like to set up an internet shrine to Shyne's lyrical aptitude and dominance over the G-Unit from his cell at Sing Sing, be my guest. However, please be advised that in my experience, it's always much better to properly spell "idiot" before you use that term to defame someone.

I will, therefore, not "get of 50's dick." In fact, I'd gladly get of it, if he were to proffer it.

Regards,
Razzy

P.S. What the fuck is a "rarse clark"? I am curious.

I eagerly anticipate a reply from "Outlawz Benet", particularly concerning the etiology and definition of the term "rarse clark". Based on my internet research, only one person, some chick named Beckie on MSN, has ever been called this and per her message board queries, it means either "no way, Jose" or "I'm Rick James, bitch." Needless to say, I'm still confused regarding its meaning and whether or not it's an insult that makes any kind of sense at all. And Benet says I'm the retard.

Labels: 50 cent, boyfriends, correspondence, grammar gestapo, rap, Razzy Haters