Monday, April 30, 2007
I'm a Sig girl
For the last several days, I have found myself acting as an apologist of "Deadliest Catch" and particularly my new boyfriend Sig Hansen. Yesterday, HotLawyer and Princess HotLawyer were over at my house with my brother and a couple of his friends, and while we stuffed our faces with bratwurst and steak, HotLawyer said, "I watched 'Deadliest Catch' the other day and that Sig guy you're always raving about is a total douche. He's always sitting around with his jacket sleeves pushed up to his elbows, smoking, trying to be funny, and acting like a grade A TOOL."
Immediately I became incensed and feel compelled to defend the smoldering hotness that is this fourth-generation Norwegian fisherman, who learned his profession working on a salmon gillnetter when he was just fifteen. Fortunately, there's ample pictures of his hot young rubber overall-wearing ass on his MySpace page. Check out the intensity of that gaze, even at a young age, as he plies his trade on the Alaskan seas (most likely to stack paper and ball outrageous...ie: score mad Scandinavian pussy upon returning to Seattle in the off-season):
Because he was so damn good at salmon fishing (and I would gladly go plug herring and tie leaders on his salmon boat any day) and because he's a towheaded Viking fox, he got promoted to Bering Sea crab boat captain at the tender age of 22 and has been mining its violent and unpredictable waters for "red gold" ever since.
Okay, so he might be a little rougher around the edges 15 years later, and his fashion sense might not be fresh off the catwalks of Milan, and his haircut might be a little on the unkempt side, but I find him so fucking sexy it's unreal. He's always sitting around in the wheelhouse, steering the Northwestern through rogue waves and the various other hazards of the Bering Sea, pondering his aggressive and unconventional crabbing strategies, chain smoking cowboy killers (although I think he may have switched to Marb Lights this season), and plotting diabolical pranks designed to fuck with Blake, the cute but date-rapist-y greenhorn captain of the Maverick:
Sig has indirectly influenced my feelings about the fine region of the country in which I came up in surprising ways. There are a lot of things I miss about living in the P-N-Dub, and one that I never thought I would miss is seeing "Northwest Afternoon." This show, known colloquially as "NWA" (the show's producers apparently never listened to "Fuck Tha Police" or anything else by Eazy-E, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, MC Ren, and DJ Yella, because there are no Niggaz with Attitude to be found anywhere among its TV personalities) is an afternoon talk show about Seattle. The first half is this fat bitch named Cindi Rinehart who gives a Cliff Notes version of what happened on various soap operas that day, followed by the other two hosts, who are a he-she team of smarmy, guffawing morons, doing some sort of lame feature story. Normally I'd always be on SoapNet watching reruns of "Beverly Hills, 90210" at 3 p.m. when this shitshow airs, but I was crushed to see that I'd missed this must-see episode which aired while I was back in the Big Apple:
Yes, for once they actually had some guests worth watching: Sig, raising the temperature on set about 50,000 degrees with his blazing hotness, and his brother Edgar, head deckhand on the Northwestern. Check out that gold chain Sig is rocking around his neck like the straight-up PIMP that he is.
And if I were "Deadliest Catch" narrator Mike Rowe, who also hosts a show called "Dirty Jobs", I'd be thinking dirtier thoughts than occupations if I were tossing back a few cocktails with Sig at the Dutch Harbor watering hole. Seemingly Mike Rowe was, because in this picture he seems upset that Sig is laughing at his clumsy advances. Obviously Sig is a ladies-only man, and he's saving himself for a fine Norse crab connoisseur babe like myself. Denied, Mike Rowe!
If by now I haven't convinced you that Sig Hansen is the Adonis of Alaskan crab fishermen, I probably never will, but you'll see what I'm talking about if you watch a little "DC" and see the master in action. Sig is so smoking hot that come Opilio season, he'll melt all the frozen sea spray off the rigging of the Northwestern just by standing near it. Seriously, I am getting this picture made into a poster and hung over my bed, so that I can gaze into his piercing, determined blue eyes as I fall asleep at night:
I'm a Sig girl for life.
Immediately I became incensed and feel compelled to defend the smoldering hotness that is this fourth-generation Norwegian fisherman, who learned his profession working on a salmon gillnetter when he was just fifteen. Fortunately, there's ample pictures of his hot young rubber overall-wearing ass on his MySpace page. Check out the intensity of that gaze, even at a young age, as he plies his trade on the Alaskan seas (most likely to stack paper and ball outrageous...ie: score mad Scandinavian pussy upon returning to Seattle in the off-season):
Okay, so he might be a little rougher around the edges 15 years later, and his fashion sense might not be fresh off the catwalks of Milan, and his haircut might be a little on the unkempt side, but I find him so fucking sexy it's unreal. He's always sitting around in the wheelhouse, steering the Northwestern through rogue waves and the various other hazards of the Bering Sea, pondering his aggressive and unconventional crabbing strategies, chain smoking cowboy killers (although I think he may have switched to Marb Lights this season), and plotting diabolical pranks designed to fuck with Blake, the cute but date-rapist-y greenhorn captain of the Maverick:
And if I were "Deadliest Catch" narrator Mike Rowe, who also hosts a show called "Dirty Jobs", I'd be thinking dirtier thoughts than occupations if I were tossing back a few cocktails with Sig at the Dutch Harbor watering hole. Seemingly Mike Rowe was, because in this picture he seems upset that Sig is laughing at his clumsy advances. Obviously Sig is a ladies-only man, and he's saving himself for a fine Norse crab connoisseur babe like myself. Denied, Mike Rowe!
Labels: Deadliest Catch, hot dudes, HotLawyer, P-N-Dub, Razzification, sex
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That was too funny! Can't tell if she is Edgar's evil twin or a stalker. Excellent warped sense of humour! Sorry there Jazzy, but I like NWA...by the way...I think Norman is the sizzler in this family...sorry Sig!
# posted by 
: 5/01/2007 7:04 PM
: 5/01/2007 7:04 PM
I have to say this is an awesome blog!!! I can see where you would get he is hot. Though I much rather have him as a mentor and friend then passionate lover who smells of crab and is always away fishing! LOL!
Great blog! I think that Sig is hot as hell! Yup, given the chance (fill in the blank)...
Every week after I watch the latest episode of DC I find myself drifting off to sleep and into my Sig fantasy world!
LOVE HIM!!!
Every week after I watch the latest episode of DC I find myself drifting off to sleep and into my Sig fantasy world!
LOVE HIM!!!
And I thought I was being bad when I referred to Blake as a frat-boy-looking-dude!
This definitely made me LOL! I have a mad crush on Cap'n Sig and I'd steal your poster idea, but my husband probably won't like that.
Young Captain Sig = Adorable!!
This definitely made me LOL! I have a mad crush on Cap'n Sig and I'd steal your poster idea, but my husband probably won't like that.
Young Captain Sig = Adorable!!
# posted by : 6/09/2007 5:41 PM
: 6/09/2007 5:41 PM
'Eah, Sig's hot, but so's the rest of the brothers, lol. LOVED the comments regarding Blake and Mike Rowe, LOL! I'm with scottie with his take on it...GREAT BLOG RAZZY!
# posted by : 6/21/2007 1:47 PM
: 6/21/2007 1:47 PM
Haha! That was funny. I like watching the show and Sig has definitely got it going on. I'd work for him any day because I think he and Edgar treat everyone very fairly. I watched the latest season with the various "greenhorns" having their troubles, but not so much on the Northwestern. That should tell everyone something.
I thought I was the only One with a huge crush on Capt Sig but I can see there are many more lusting after him! I never miss an episode, Just to see Sig, the hottest Captain, I just think he is sooo freakin HOT!! I would love to be on that ship with him, just a fantasy but yup He is a Hunk! Luv ya Sig!! Diana
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# posted by : 4/17/2008 9:05 PM
: 4/17/2008 9:05 PM Links to this post:
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