Wednesday, April 25, 2007
More dumbfuckery on the Lower East Side
All the kids on MySpace are probably wishing they were 21 and living in NYC, because this tool is opening a bar on the Lower East Side:
That's Pete Wentz. When he's not challenging Jared Leto for the Honorary Robert Smith Excellence in Excessive Eyeliner Award, he plays bass for Fall Out Boy, this crybaby band of "punk" male lesbians who write songs about their feelings and whine about their relationship problems. He's also famous for sticking his dick into Ashlee Simpson, who should advise him to get those caterpillars waxed off his brow next time he gets those feathered layers touched up at the salon.
New York magazine interviewed this douche about his new business venture, and it turns out that Pete Wentz simply had to open a bar because there aren't any that are cool enough for him in all of Nueva York, as all the bars are apparently "for dudes with Rod Stewart hair and white belts to go hang out at." Therefore, he's opening his own place called Angels and Kings, and let me tell you, there's NO PLACE along Avenue A anything like this joint:
I guess I really shouldn't expect much more than stuck-up rambling about his contrived concept dive bar from a dude who whacks off to Morrissey posters (for that extra dose of emo bitch credibility) and takes pictures of same with his Sidekick:
I think I speak for everyone when I compliment the friendship bracelet/Swatch combo for really underscoring the fact that Pete Wentz has the maturity and originality of a twelve-year-old girl in 1992. That's some really SUPER kewl fashion sense right there. It's the perfect accompaniment to that badass flaming yin-yang heart tattoo on his happy trail, which got the waxing his eyebrows so desperately need.
Regrettably, I won't be able to go discuss the Cliff Notes of No Exit on April 30th and drink Fall Out Boy-inspired shots alongside the rest of the studded belt-wearing pseudo-intellectual crowd when this place opens. I'll be back in the P-N-Dub, eating lots of salmon, and, most likely, lots of Tacoma dick.
[Razzy Edit: Okay, so this bar is on 11th and Ave A, which is technically the Village of the East, but same difference. I'm still calling it the Lower East Side, so all you New Yorkers, don't rush to fucking correct me.]
New York magazine interviewed this douche about his new business venture, and it turns out that Pete Wentz simply had to open a bar because there aren't any that are cool enough for him in all of Nueva York, as all the bars are apparently "for dudes with Rod Stewart hair and white belts to go hang out at." Therefore, he's opening his own place called Angels and Kings, and let me tell you, there's NO PLACE along Avenue A anything like this joint:
"Dudes can use the chicks’ bathroom and vice versa, so that girls don’t have to wait in line. And we’re raising the D.J. booth because the D.J. should be like God. He shouldn’t have to deal with anyone trying to talk to him....We’re putting up mug shots on the wall of people we’re fans of. Like we have this awesome Sid Vicious mug shot where you can tell he’s just like a fucked-up kid, like everyone had him pegged wrong. It speaks to me...This communal thing, it’s a lost narrative in pop culture. You don’t have anything like the Factory anymore, and where people can come together and talk and get wasted. I want it to be like Shredder’s hangout in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2."Yes, I can't think of ANY places down on the LES where the bathrooms are functionally unisex, or that feature a fucked-up looking picture of (junkie wife-beating murderer) Sid Vicious hanging on the wall, or that have some pretentious fucktard running the music, or that welcome hipster assholes who will drop Andy Warhol references while drinking PBR out of a can, comparing facial piercings, and competing to see who has the most ennui. I don't remember what Shredder's hangout was like in Secret of the Ooze, but I sincerely doubt that the commander of the evil ninja underworld was rocking Gym Class Heroes or Avril Lavigne on the fucking jukebox.
I guess I really shouldn't expect much more than stuck-up rambling about his contrived concept dive bar from a dude who whacks off to Morrissey posters (for that extra dose of emo bitch credibility) and takes pictures of same with his Sidekick:
I think I speak for everyone when I compliment the friendship bracelet/Swatch combo for really underscoring the fact that Pete Wentz has the maturity and originality of a twelve-year-old girl in 1992. That's some really SUPER kewl fashion sense right there. It's the perfect accompaniment to that badass flaming yin-yang heart tattoo on his happy trail, which got the waxing his eyebrows so desperately need.
Regrettably, I won't be able to go discuss the Cliff Notes of No Exit on April 30th and drink Fall Out Boy-inspired shots alongside the rest of the studded belt-wearing pseudo-intellectual crowd when this place opens. I'll be back in the P-N-Dub, eating lots of salmon, and, most likely, lots of Tacoma dick.
[Razzy Edit: Okay, so this bar is on 11th and Ave A, which is technically the Village of the East, but same difference. I'm still calling it the Lower East Side, so all you New Yorkers, don't rush to fucking correct me.]
Labels: alcoholism, assholes, capitalism, masturbation, media whores, NYC, oh the horror, overcompensation, retard rage, scathing indictments, sluts, weiners
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Morrisey would pimp slap that idiot back to West Hollywood for defiling his picture like that.-JT
# posted by 
: 4/25/2007 11:25 AM
: 4/25/2007 11:25 AM
Look bitch, do you think that downing celebrities will get you anywhere? Sorry hun, it won't. While they're partying it up, rolling in millions and having the satisfaction of having millions of fans, you're doing this? Wow, you're really fucking lame, you know? Jesus christ you friggin retard, get a REAL fucking life!
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# posted by : 7/08/2008 5:16 AM
: 7/08/2008 5:16 AM Links to this post:
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