RazzyBlog: My friends are also nerds

Thursday, April 26, 2007

My friends are also nerds

LL Cool Jew is the world's most prolific postcard writer, and even on her honeymoon in Tahiti, where presumably she was busy snorkeling and fucking her new husband BigBagel, she found time to send me a postcard featuring a picture of a tranquil South Pacific scene (lush mountains, lagoons, thatched cabanas, etc.). I was delighted to turn it over and see the entire back covered with her distinctive and lovely handwriting.

I should mention here that one thing LL Cool Jew and I bond over BIG TIME is our mutual love for anything having to do with historical maritime exploits, especially those involving pirates, Her/His Majesty's Royal Navy (depending on the time period), exploration, and colonial intrigue. She once tried to convince me to get the "VOC" logo used by the Gentlemen XVII, the aristocrats overseeing the Vereenigde Oostindische Compagnie (AKA the Dutch East India Company), to stamp their official correspondence on my ass. That didn't happen, but it would have totally ruled:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I can only imagine what the expression would be on any random lay's face upon being informed that the "VOC" on my (extremely hot) ass wasn't some ex-boyfriend's initials but the calling card of the seventeenth century merchant guild elite. Anyway, being in Tahiti, site of the HMAV Bounty's ill-fated breadfruit-acquiring mission and Captain James Cook's favorite port of call, she spent most of the postcard regaling me with thrilling tales related to its historical particulars. Not to neglect modern times, however, that clever bitch still managed to work in a reference to a scene from the finale of Vh1's (finest achievement of all time) "I Love New York:"

April 12, 2007~DOOD!! OK, see that little bay inlet between those near-vertical peaks so strictly evocative of the South Pacific? That's where a stinking, syphilitic, and exhausted James Cook pulled in in 1777, greeted in all likelihood by a horde of bouncing brown boobies and massively tatted asses toting roasted pigs and fried breadfruit, and decided then and there that this place would make him famous. I mean, honestly, this place is completely ridiculous. We can jump off our terrace into a placid lagoon chock full of fish, and every time I turn around and see these frickin mountains I just about soil myself. Also, behind our bungalow is the dolphin center, so I can totally look up and see what Chance would call "the water dogs" doing their sweet dolphiny thing. If I could just see one inbred descendent of Fletcher Christian it would be complete. PRESS! Love, LL Cool Jew and BigBagel.

I can always count on my friends, and ESPECIALLY on LL Cool Jew, to remind me that I am not alone in my pursuit of useless but fascinating geekified historical knowledge concerning the intrigue of seamen past. Maybe she'll go get that VOC tattoo with me, as a show of nerd solidarity.

Labels: BigBagel, correspondence, epic geekery, I LOVE IT, LL Cool Jew, Razzification