Monday, April 02, 2007
Tango and Chance
No, I'm not talking about this:
That's Tango and Cash. Tango and Chance are the two remaining finalists on the best show on television this year..."I Love New York."
This is Tango, a rapper also known as The Tan Man, who professed his love to New York on episode 3 and, according to New York, gives back massages that make her "want to do big girl things":
Famous Tango moments include him getting into a knock-down, drag-out screaming match with New York which culminated in her mooning him, constantly snitching on other contestants who may have talked shit about NY or her crazy mother (he almost got 12 Pack the gay stripper booted and successfully got Onix kicked off after he claimed Sister Patterson was faking speaking in tongues at church), and being compared to a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle by other contestants (during a double date, competitor Real addressed him as "Donatello" and declared that he had "mutagen lips").
This is Chance, lead rapper of the up-and-coming (according to him, anyway) group the Stallionaires, who are named for the horse farm his mama runs:
Chance is the big thug of the house. He's constantly slizzin' on the Henny, puffing Newports, and generally stuntin' and acting the fool. Famous Chance moments include him attending a cooking class where he revealed that he believes prosciutto is French, fucking New York (possibly) in a limo after the same cooking class, running off to pet his stallion when New York didn't pay attention to him for five minutes, refusing to go to church if it meant removing his Stallionaires baseball cap, going into church five minutes later after receiving diving inspiration in the form of Sister Patterson's epileptic Hallelujah seizure, and spending most of a hot air balloon ride clutching the floor of the basket in fear.
My money's on Chance winning, just because I think New York is hotter for him than Tango. Chance is a total asshole most of the time, but New York won't shut up about how hot he makes her. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure New York will give both of their dicks a test drive before passing her final judgment, and I feel like Chance is better in the sack than Tango. For one thing, Chance is tall and skinny and I have yet to meet a tall, skinny dude who wasn't packing a sizable cock. For another, I'm always suspicious of guys who spend as much time in the weight room as Tango does, as that suggests some serious overcompensation. Besides, Chance is funny, and Tango is a pain in the ass, as he's always either tattling on somebody or trying to process with New York like a damn Smith College lesbian. So there will be no shout of "Cowabunga, dude!" from Tango...Chance is totally winning this thing.
On another note, I was checking on the internets to see if news of a winner had leaked. While I couldn't find any definitive information about that, I did notice that this picture of Kalybos from Clash of the Titans kept popping up every time I Googled "I Love New York." I'm not sure why...except he does look a LITTLE like New York's mother.
I thought this was funny, and I think that there should be more pictures of Kalybos--bitter and disfigured bastard son of the goddess Thetis (aka Dame Maggie Smith) who spent all his time rigging an elaborate dream-induced nightly abduction of the Princess Andromeda only to be thwarted by the handsome and clever pre-"L.A. Law" Harry Hamlin--floating around the blogosphere. So there you go.
This is Tango, a rapper also known as The Tan Man, who professed his love to New York on episode 3 and, according to New York, gives back massages that make her "want to do big girl things":
This is Chance, lead rapper of the up-and-coming (according to him, anyway) group the Stallionaires, who are named for the horse farm his mama runs:
My money's on Chance winning, just because I think New York is hotter for him than Tango. Chance is a total asshole most of the time, but New York won't shut up about how hot he makes her. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure New York will give both of their dicks a test drive before passing her final judgment, and I feel like Chance is better in the sack than Tango. For one thing, Chance is tall and skinny and I have yet to meet a tall, skinny dude who wasn't packing a sizable cock. For another, I'm always suspicious of guys who spend as much time in the weight room as Tango does, as that suggests some serious overcompensation. Besides, Chance is funny, and Tango is a pain in the ass, as he's always either tattling on somebody or trying to process with New York like a damn Smith College lesbian. So there will be no shout of "Cowabunga, dude!" from Tango...Chance is totally winning this thing.
On another note, I was checking on the internets to see if news of a winner had leaked. While I couldn't find any definitive information about that, I did notice that this picture of Kalybos from Clash of the Titans kept popping up every time I Googled "I Love New York." I'm not sure why...except he does look a LITTLE like New York's mother.
Labels: hilarious shit, I LOVE IT, I Love New York, TV, Vh1
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tango thats not your real muscules
or chest and chance u will always look sexy u real and your other brother r hot but u and real or sexy
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or chest and chance u will always look sexy u real and your other brother r hot but u and real or sexy
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