Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Chingy! has no love
Much to everyone's (including my own) surprise, Chingy! is actually well-behaved when I cram his fat ass into his carrier like a sausage into its casing and cram him under a coach airline seat. He just proceeds with his 23-hours-per-day sleep requirement. However, he is always glad to get out and piss all over the airport once the plane lands. There is not a garbage can or ashtray outside the JFK and Sea-Tac American and Delta baggage claims that hasn't been marked by his stank uric calling card.
For whatever reason, he is almost always more enthusiastic about this at JFK than at Sea-Tac, and I can't figure out if it's because he loves New York or because he hates it. One thing is for certain, though, and that is that Chingy! seems to hate Queens. This is odd, because before I got him, he lived in Howard Beach, Queens, just a stone's throw from JFK (well, a stone's throw by outer borough terms, so a mile and a half.) Perhaps he associates it with a traumatic puppyhood. I noticed this distinctly manifested when we returned home from Christmas in the P-N-Dub, and there was a repeat performance as we headed for the Triborough Bridge yesterday.
I was too tired to suffer two hours on the trains, so we climbed into a cab. As we cruised down the Van Wyck, Chingy! sat on my lap and alternately dozed and gazed rapturously at me, at least until we reached Shea Stadium. Once the stadium came into view, he jumped up on the armrest and began barking at the stadium ferociously. The effect is actually hilarious, and my cab driver even took a break from chattering away on his bluetooth in Urdu for a minute to laugh at him as well. I had to restrain Chingy! once he started clawing on the window glass, presumably to leap from the cab and go regulate.
I have no idea why he seems to hate Shea Stadium so much, but since he's now done this twice, there must be something about it that really gets him all Puggish. Maybe Chingy! isn't a Mets fan, or maybe he strongly disapproves of building a new stadium for them to play in. Or maybe he strongly supports the new stadium because he hates Shea. It also could be because those spaceship-thingies from the World's Fair that were used in the movie Men In Black are there, and he's sick of people on the street pointing at him and saying shit like, "Hey! Men In Black dog!" I know I am fucking sick of that myself, so it's possible that Chingy! is expressing his displeasure by directing it towards a site where a pivotal scene from that movie was filmed. Unlike my usual response to the Men In Black reference ("Yeah, I'd like to see Tommy Lee Jones try to shake down his fat ass for information"), maybe Chingy!'s is expressed as rage toward anything affiliated with the film. I hope that's the truth, because that would mean that Chingy! might viciously attack Will Smith if he ever sees him in person, and forget my day, that would make my fucking life.
In any event, I ultimately had to restrain Chingy! and put him on the cab floor, where he checked the handy map of NYC and saw that we were headed back to our humble abode in Manhattan. This seemed to put him at peace. Well, either that, or the knowledge that once again he'd really told Shea Stadium what's what, and how.
CHONGAY CHONG, Queens!
For whatever reason, he is almost always more enthusiastic about this at JFK than at Sea-Tac, and I can't figure out if it's because he loves New York or because he hates it. One thing is for certain, though, and that is that Chingy! seems to hate Queens. This is odd, because before I got him, he lived in Howard Beach, Queens, just a stone's throw from JFK (well, a stone's throw by outer borough terms, so a mile and a half.) Perhaps he associates it with a traumatic puppyhood. I noticed this distinctly manifested when we returned home from Christmas in the P-N-Dub, and there was a repeat performance as we headed for the Triborough Bridge yesterday.
I was too tired to suffer two hours on the trains, so we climbed into a cab. As we cruised down the Van Wyck, Chingy! sat on my lap and alternately dozed and gazed rapturously at me, at least until we reached Shea Stadium. Once the stadium came into view, he jumped up on the armrest and began barking at the stadium ferociously. The effect is actually hilarious, and my cab driver even took a break from chattering away on his bluetooth in Urdu for a minute to laugh at him as well. I had to restrain Chingy! once he started clawing on the window glass, presumably to leap from the cab and go regulate.
I have no idea why he seems to hate Shea Stadium so much, but since he's now done this twice, there must be something about it that really gets him all Puggish. Maybe Chingy! isn't a Mets fan, or maybe he strongly disapproves of building a new stadium for them to play in. Or maybe he strongly supports the new stadium because he hates Shea. It also could be because those spaceship-thingies from the World's Fair that were used in the movie Men In Black are there, and he's sick of people on the street pointing at him and saying shit like, "Hey! Men In Black dog!" I know I am fucking sick of that myself, so it's possible that Chingy! is expressing his displeasure by directing it towards a site where a pivotal scene from that movie was filmed. Unlike my usual response to the Men In Black reference ("Yeah, I'd like to see Tommy Lee Jones try to shake down his fat ass for information"), maybe Chingy!'s is expressed as rage toward anything affiliated with the film. I hope that's the truth, because that would mean that Chingy! might viciously attack Will Smith if he ever sees him in person, and forget my day, that would make my fucking life.
In any event, I ultimately had to restrain Chingy! and put him on the cab floor, where he checked the handy map of NYC and saw that we were headed back to our humble abode in Manhattan. This seemed to put him at peace. Well, either that, or the knowledge that once again he'd really told Shea Stadium what's what, and how.
CHONGAY CHONG, Queens!
Labels: CHONGAY CHONG, defiance, doggity style, NYC, ridiculous absurdity
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
