Tuesday, May 29, 2007
In case you missed the Miss Universe pageant
Here's what Miss USA did, once again proving to me that I like the Miss USA/Universe bitches so much better than Miss America. This is the kind of shit I would pull if I were in a beauty pageant:
Girlfriend totally bit it to the tune of Sean Paul's "Give It Up to Me" (a song which, by the way, includes such beauty pageant-appropriate lyrics as "get out of my head and into my bed, gal" and "You know you got the sinting inna me pants a develop and a swell up and double up yeah...So gimme the work yeah cause if you no gimme the work the blue balls a erupt yeah".) You'd never see a chick do something as gauche as fall down in Miss America, nor would she do so to such a raunchy (yet catchy) tune exhorting bitches to put out, proving once again the innate superiority of the Miss USA/Universe pageant system.
These prostitutes in Donald Trump's Miss Universe pageant are way, WAY more interesting than the Miss America bitches. Okay, I will give it to this year's Miss America that she got all Chris Hansen on some pedophiles' asses in Long Island, but usually Miss America tries only to be a positive role model for young women, which means they do nothing of any interest whatsoever. BOOOOORRRRRING. Last year's Miss USA, on the other hand, was a drunken snatch-licking cokehead, and this year's can't walk. Probably because she was shitfaced. Miss USA, now that she lost the Miss Universe crown to Miss Japan, will be heading back to her apartment at Trump Place where we can only hope she'll start getting it on with Miss Teen USA, hitting the clubs, and winding up all over Page Six.
Girlfriend totally bit it to the tune of Sean Paul's "Give It Up to Me" (a song which, by the way, includes such beauty pageant-appropriate lyrics as "get out of my head and into my bed, gal" and "You know you got the sinting inna me pants a develop and a swell up and double up yeah...So gimme the work yeah cause if you no gimme the work the blue balls a erupt yeah".) You'd never see a chick do something as gauche as fall down in Miss America, nor would she do so to such a raunchy (yet catchy) tune exhorting bitches to put out, proving once again the innate superiority of the Miss USA/Universe pageant system.
These prostitutes in Donald Trump's Miss Universe pageant are way, WAY more interesting than the Miss America bitches. Okay, I will give it to this year's Miss America that she got all Chris Hansen on some pedophiles' asses in Long Island, but usually Miss America tries only to be a positive role model for young women, which means they do nothing of any interest whatsoever. BOOOOORRRRRING. Last year's Miss USA, on the other hand, was a drunken snatch-licking cokehead, and this year's can't walk. Probably because she was shitfaced. Miss USA, now that she lost the Miss Universe crown to Miss Japan, will be heading back to her apartment at Trump Place where we can only hope she'll start getting it on with Miss Teen USA, hitting the clubs, and winding up all over Page Six.
Labels: beauty queens, hilarious shit, hot chicks, sluts
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the best part about this was that the mexico city audience was understandably upset that miss usa made it to the final five after that legendary fall while miss mexico was retired for the evening. so when miss usa approached to answer the "big question," the audience erupted in loud boos and unintelligible chants, giving cohosts vanessa minillo and mario lopez a tough go of keeping things on schedule. and miss usa was on it enough to say, "buena nochis, meheeco!" at the end of her comment, which of course renewed the wave of derisive boos. AND i picked miss japan from the start and bagel's fave miss venezuela came in fourth, so in all, best pageant ever.
# posted by 
: 5/29/2007 9:33 AM
: 5/29/2007 9:33 AM
Speaking of Vanessa Minillo, I flipped to the pageant and was like, "Holy shit, is that Kira Kener hosting this thing???" Then I was like, "No, right, that's Nick Lachey's beard. Got it."
That's why I should not watch beauty pageants immediately after watching porn.
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That's why I should not watch beauty pageants immediately after watching porn.
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