Thursday, May 03, 2007
The proof is in the pussy-loving hat
LL Cool Jew's abilities as a highly trained graduate of THE Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism have proved themselves yet again, as she has solved the greatest mystery currently confounding Hollywood gossip aficionados: is Lindsay Lohan licking snatch, or is she not?
I received the following e-mail from LL Cool Jew this morning with several compromising photographs and LL Cool Jew's commentary:
is this perhaps a subtle reference to her allegedly lesbish fling with that girl dj?? you know the one...
Indeed I do. "That girl dj" is this chick, Samantha Ronson, who would be awesome because she's the daughter of Mick Jones from Foreigner and has a deal with Roc-A-Fella records, except she runs around with Lindsay Lohan acting like a complete and total celebutante tool most of the time. She also lists "turntabology" as her musical style on her MySpace page, and that annoys me...since when did spinning shitty house music at Hyde or whatever become a fucking science? Anyway, take one gander at Samantha Ronson, and see if you agree that this chick is awash in a super dykified aura:
Yes, the only way it could be more obvious that Samantha Ronson likes to stick her face in that firecrotch is if she put that peace sign up to her face and started flicking her tongue through it. She and Lohan have probably exchanged matching friendship bracelets by now.
Anyway, the pictures that LL Cool Jew directed me to are these, and I think they basically close the book on whether or not Lohan is hitting that hot butchy mess above:
YES! Lindsay Lohan gives a millinery shoutout to my alma mater, the most famous liberal arts institution of higher learning catering to wealthy white box-munchers in America: Smith College, baby! And why would Lindsay be showing love for Smith and repping 413? She certainly didn't go there, but maybe if she were to pursue a bachelor of arts, it would be her first choice. Smith is basically famous for three things: depressed poets, feminazis, and dykestravaganza, so unless Lohan is secretly a closet Sylvia Plath fan or really LOVED reading Revolution from Within (assuming she can read), I'm betting that this is a coded message to all the women-loving women.
Samantha Ronson is tapping that vadge for sure. Go Pioneers!
I received the following e-mail from LL Cool Jew this morning with several compromising photographs and LL Cool Jew's commentary:
is this perhaps a subtle reference to her allegedly lesbish fling with that girl dj?? you know the one...
Indeed I do. "That girl dj" is this chick, Samantha Ronson, who would be awesome because she's the daughter of Mick Jones from Foreigner and has a deal with Roc-A-Fella records, except she runs around with Lindsay Lohan acting like a complete and total celebutante tool most of the time. She also lists "turntabology" as her musical style on her MySpace page, and that annoys me...since when did spinning shitty house music at Hyde or whatever become a fucking science? Anyway, take one gander at Samantha Ronson, and see if you agree that this chick is awash in a super dykified aura:
Anyway, the pictures that LL Cool Jew directed me to are these, and I think they basically close the book on whether or not Lohan is hitting that hot butchy mess above:
Samantha Ronson is tapping that vadge for sure. Go Pioneers!
Labels: celebrities, Dumb Smith bitches, lezbollah, LL Cool Jew, media whores, sex, sluts
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