Monday, June 04, 2007
Be still my uncontrollably palpitating heart
Today could have been a really bad day. I had a very long day at work, I'm off the cancer sticks and thus somewhat bitchy, and when I arrived home wanting nothing more than finish up a few work things, watch TV, and cool off with a frosty cold Heineken, my key made a funny noise as I turned it in the lock. Then it wouldn't move. After ten minutes of twisting it, banging on my door, twisting the key again, kicking my door, and swearing at it, I called a locksmith. I found out that my lock had "collapsed", and I only barely avoided an obscene bill to replace the entire lock. Instead I "got lucky" and just needed a new cylinder, according to the short but dirtily sexy Czechoslovakian number who fixed it. Thus I had a $450, marginally less obscene bill to pay in cash.
However, it's all good, because as far as I'm concerned, nothing bad can happen today. Captain Sigurd "The Hotness" Hansen of "Deadliest Catch" fame, after posting a link to my original ode to his rugged good looks and excellence in crab boat captaining and subsequently defending me against allegations of stalking, has once again opined on his MySpace blog, and I am OVER THE FUCKING MOON with excitement.
THAT'S RIGHT! According to Sig (who is infallible) I'm the number one fan (I'm assuming he hit the period key instead of the pound key by accident) of the crew of the F/V Northwestern. Yes, you heard it STRAIGHT FROM SIG HIMSELF...I'm the #1 FAN! Take that, all you hos who called me a stalker! Even cooler is the fact that, judging by his exclamatory "WOOT!," he is absolutely thrilled that I am occupying that lofty position. Because let's face it, what kind of crazy hot Viking fisherman WOULDN'T want a Norwegian-American wannabe pirate from Puyallup in her underwear adoring them? Which reminds me, I'm going to have to get a picture of me in my "I'm a Sig Girl" thong to send the Hansen boys as a morale booster before they brave the violent and unpredictable Bering Sea in this modern day gold rush next fall. Maybe I can convince MillerTime, who is almost as obsessed with Sig's brother Edgar as she is "The Girls Next Door", that she should pose with me in the "I'm an Edgar Girl" thong that undoubtedly she has purchased by now. We can find someone who likes the strong, silent type (ie: Norman Hansen), and complete the trifecta of Northwestern adulation.
This is tantamount to Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson dissing me on his next album, or Robert Sylvester Kelly calling me up and asking if he could sex me up, strip for me, or piss on me (all in spite of my old age), or Ernest Hemingway coming back from the dead to take me lion hunting and/or foreign civil war fighting with him. No matter how many bullshit broken locks or failed experiments in lab I have to deal with, Sig has bestowed upon me what I think is the Northwestern's equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Fucking Honor. Now, the Seahawks just have to win a Super Bowl and my life will be pretty much complete.
However, it's all good, because as far as I'm concerned, nothing bad can happen today. Captain Sigurd "The Hotness" Hansen of "Deadliest Catch" fame, after posting a link to my original ode to his rugged good looks and excellence in crab boat captaining and subsequently defending me against allegations of stalking, has once again opined on his MySpace blog, and I am OVER THE FUCKING MOON with excitement.
THAT'S RIGHT! According to Sig (who is infallible) I'm the number one fan (I'm assuming he hit the period key instead of the pound key by accident) of the crew of the F/V Northwestern. Yes, you heard it STRAIGHT FROM SIG HIMSELF...I'm the #1 FAN! Take that, all you hos who called me a stalker! Even cooler is the fact that, judging by his exclamatory "WOOT!," he is absolutely thrilled that I am occupying that lofty position. Because let's face it, what kind of crazy hot Viking fisherman WOULDN'T want a Norwegian-American wannabe pirate from Puyallup in her underwear adoring them? Which reminds me, I'm going to have to get a picture of me in my "I'm a Sig Girl" thong to send the Hansen boys as a morale booster before they brave the violent and unpredictable Bering Sea in this modern day gold rush next fall. Maybe I can convince MillerTime, who is almost as obsessed with Sig's brother Edgar as she is "The Girls Next Door", that she should pose with me in the "I'm an Edgar Girl" thong that undoubtedly she has purchased by now. We can find someone who likes the strong, silent type (ie: Norman Hansen), and complete the trifecta of Northwestern adulation.
This is tantamount to Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson dissing me on his next album, or Robert Sylvester Kelly calling me up and asking if he could sex me up, strip for me, or piss on me (all in spite of my old age), or Ernest Hemingway coming back from the dead to take me lion hunting and/or foreign civil war fighting with him. No matter how many bullshit broken locks or failed experiments in lab I have to deal with, Sig has bestowed upon me what I think is the Northwestern's equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Fucking Honor. Now, the Seahawks just have to win a Super Bowl and my life will be pretty much complete.
Labels: Deadliest Catch, hot dudes, I LOVE IT, MillerTime, MySpace, Razzification
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You ARE the number one fan! The Internet is amazing! Congrats BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
# posted by 
: 6/04/2007 9:03 PM
: 6/04/2007 9:03 PM
You go girl! I love reading your blogs. You only said what a lot of people have on their minds but are afraid to say it. lol...love it!
# posted by : 6/05/2007 11:57 AM
: 6/05/2007 11:57 AM
Hey Razzy,
What did you think of the hotness working the deck last night? Nice.
Congrats on the shout out from Sig!
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What did you think of the hotness working the deck last night? Nice.
Congrats on the shout out from Sig!
# posted by : 6/06/2007 8:28 AM
: 6/06/2007 8:28 AM Links to this post:
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