Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Behold...the world's most embarrassing lesbian
No, not Kelli. As far as I can tell, she does nothing but maintain that snappy Anne Heche-during-the-Ellen-years haircut:
Nor Boy George:
I'm talking exclusively about this repugnant scourge of all humankind:
Up until today, I made a conscious effort to avoid talking about my hatred for Rosie O'Donnell. Many things about her bother me. For one thing, her blog is like a poetry-inclined crybaby Smith girl meets one of the super kewl pedophiles from "To Catch a Predator." This, for example, is what Rosie had to say about her feud with Donald Trump over her remarks about the hot drunken coked-up lesbo former Miss USA Tara Conner:
so what happens
when u say the emperor has no clothes
the comb over goes ballistic
via phone to mr king
choices
every minute
every day
everyone
i imagine it is interesting
as celeb feuds tend 2 b
so here r my thoughts
didnt watch
didnt u tube
restrict
i have no time 2 make art now
i am only off friday
which is never enuf
to detox
the pipes get full
bits of sludge
clog the flow
so tiny books
now
express in torn images
my inside
No shit, her pipes are full of sludge. I would have said bullshit, but whatever. I refuse to believe that, however bad her childhood or upbringing, this bitch can't spell a FUCKING BASIC PRONOUN LIKE "YOU". It goes on like that for about three pages of unintelligible, meandering, stream-of-consciousness verse, and if you are into masochism you can read pages upon pages of similar material on her blog to your heart's content.
I willed myself to ignore this and refrain from commenting, if only because that heifer doesn't deserve any more attention and fame than her fat ass already gets. I even ignored it (despite feeling completely traumatized and like a hollow shell of a human being) when she made a guest appearance on "Nip/Tuck", one of my favorite TV shows, and this happened:
I would have absolutely lost it when my boyfriend Dr. Christian Troy porked Rosie on his super classy zebra skin rug if her character on the show hadn't paid his ass 400 grand to do so. Although the show was also redeemed in a later episode when James "Jim Walsh" Eckhouse guest-starred as a preachy Scientologist OB/GYN, I'm never going to be able to rub one off to the hotness that is Dr. Troy without the above horrible image jumping into my head.
Add to her transgressions against the sanctity of "Nip/Tuck" and her incomprehensible introspective poetry blogging the fact that she's unrepentantly fat, and probably calls herself a BBW. Fat bitches who insist that they are beautiful in any physical realm not populated exclusively by the blind really piss me off. Don't run around telling me that I have to like your cellulite because your Hot Pockets-eating ass is too lazy to go to the fucking gym or give up your nightly gallon of Chunky Monkey. I'm not encouraging women to diet unnecessarily or develop huge issues about their bodies, but when you are Rosie's size, your body is most definitely an issue. Unless, of course, you don't consider heart disease, diabetes, and the astronomical health bills that most people who aren't as rich as Rosie will be burdening all us hardworking taxpayers with to be issues. So her morbid obesity is strike three against Rosie Ho'Donnell.
Anyway, I would have just let all this anti-Rosie aggression fester within me, turning my soul ever more black, if she didn't open her big fat pizzahole and sound off with some seriously intolerant bullshit that worked me into a frenzy of righteous outrage. Since maturely storming off "The View" after a catfight with a vapid, possibly retarded woman who can list achievements like "Survivor" loser on her CV, Rosie has been keeping busy by rolling with Cyndi Lauper's True Colors tour. While performing her lamentable standup routine, Rosie announced:
Now, before anyone is like, "But you make fun of (gays/straights/transgendered/all human beings/insert your group of choice here), Razzy! Where do YOU get off?", let me state clearly that I really wouldn't care that she said this had she not appointed herself the biggest gay mouthpiece on the planet. She organizes gay cruises. She promotes gay concert tours. She turned her lesbian wedding into a media event. She called Kelly Ripa a homophobe simply because she didn't appreciate Clay Aiken clapping his hand over her mouth, and as much as Kelly Ripa annoys me, I wouldn't want some dude physically silencing me in that manner either. Even worse, Clay Aiken--despite being one of the most obvious fruitcakes on the planet--isn't even out of the closet. Granted, the fear of being associated with Rosie in any way is certainly strong incentive to stay closeted. Whenever some sort of gay issue comes up, Rosie takes it upon herself to sound off on behalf of everyone rocking it on the same-sex tip, and as a practicing bisexual, I don't appreciate it one bit. The last thing I want to think about when my face is firmly entrenched in some hot bitch's crotch is Rosie congratulating herself for standing up for my right to do so. Furthermore, although I make fun of EVERYONE (because there are stupid gay, lesbian, bi, tranny, and straight people in the world to make fun of), I don't think that making fun of all straight people because of a childish personal grudge against one's former colleagues is any way to score points for the gay rights cause. Not only does it antagonize and alienate heterosexuals who support the LGBT community, but it makes you look every bit as bad as the "God Hates Fags" types of intolerant bigoted assholes.
I'm sure the True Colors tour organizers really appreciated Ho'Donnell using their concert as a forum for some quality breeder bashing, given that their promotional material includes a prominent quote from Ms. Lauper stating "We should all have the right to live with the same dignity, opportunity, and safety. It shouldn't matter what anyone's sexual orientation is." That underscores better than anything else what an embarrassment Rosie is as a mouthpiece for the gays. Bitch needs to stuff some Ho-Hos in that fucking hetero-bashing yap of hers and go back to tending her duckies or whatever the hell she does in her spare time, and quit giving those of us who like hot girl-on-girl (or guy-on-guy, or whatever) action a bad name.
so what happens
when u say the emperor has no clothes
the comb over goes ballistic
via phone to mr king
choices
every minute
every day
everyone
i imagine it is interesting
as celeb feuds tend 2 b
so here r my thoughts
didnt watch
didnt u tube
restrict
i have no time 2 make art now
i am only off friday
which is never enuf
to detox
the pipes get full
bits of sludge
clog the flow
so tiny books
now
express in torn images
my inside
No shit, her pipes are full of sludge. I would have said bullshit, but whatever. I refuse to believe that, however bad her childhood or upbringing, this bitch can't spell a FUCKING BASIC PRONOUN LIKE "YOU". It goes on like that for about three pages of unintelligible, meandering, stream-of-consciousness verse, and if you are into masochism you can read pages upon pages of similar material on her blog to your heart's content.
I willed myself to ignore this and refrain from commenting, if only because that heifer doesn't deserve any more attention and fame than her fat ass already gets. I even ignored it (despite feeling completely traumatized and like a hollow shell of a human being) when she made a guest appearance on "Nip/Tuck", one of my favorite TV shows, and this happened:
Add to her transgressions against the sanctity of "Nip/Tuck" and her incomprehensible introspective poetry blogging the fact that she's unrepentantly fat, and probably calls herself a BBW. Fat bitches who insist that they are beautiful in any physical realm not populated exclusively by the blind really piss me off. Don't run around telling me that I have to like your cellulite because your Hot Pockets-eating ass is too lazy to go to the fucking gym or give up your nightly gallon of Chunky Monkey. I'm not encouraging women to diet unnecessarily or develop huge issues about their bodies, but when you are Rosie's size, your body is most definitely an issue. Unless, of course, you don't consider heart disease, diabetes, and the astronomical health bills that most people who aren't as rich as Rosie will be burdening all us hardworking taxpayers with to be issues. So her morbid obesity is strike three against Rosie Ho'Donnell.
Anyway, I would have just let all this anti-Rosie aggression fester within me, turning my soul ever more black, if she didn't open her big fat pizzahole and sound off with some seriously intolerant bullshit that worked me into a frenzy of righteous outrage. Since maturely storming off "The View" after a catfight with a vapid, possibly retarded woman who can list achievements like "Survivor" loser on her CV, Rosie has been keeping busy by rolling with Cyndi Lauper's True Colors tour. While performing her lamentable standup routine, Rosie announced:
"I got to tell you, I've been hanging around with these heteros for a full year and it's not fun! Turn around one minute and they'll stab you in the back with a high heel. They will."I almost punched my computer screen when I read this. Where the hell does this bitch get off blaming her unprofessionalism on the sexual orientation of her co-stars on "The View"? It's really a crying shame that Rosie had such a bad experience being paid millions of dollars to sit around dishing with a bunch of feminine "heteros" instead of the insufferably self-righteous softball dykes she'd obviously rather be drinking chamomile tea and complaining about George Bush with.
Now, before anyone is like, "But you make fun of (gays/straights/transgendered/all human beings/insert your group of choice here), Razzy! Where do YOU get off?", let me state clearly that I really wouldn't care that she said this had she not appointed herself the biggest gay mouthpiece on the planet. She organizes gay cruises. She promotes gay concert tours. She turned her lesbian wedding into a media event. She called Kelly Ripa a homophobe simply because she didn't appreciate Clay Aiken clapping his hand over her mouth, and as much as Kelly Ripa annoys me, I wouldn't want some dude physically silencing me in that manner either. Even worse, Clay Aiken--despite being one of the most obvious fruitcakes on the planet--isn't even out of the closet. Granted, the fear of being associated with Rosie in any way is certainly strong incentive to stay closeted. Whenever some sort of gay issue comes up, Rosie takes it upon herself to sound off on behalf of everyone rocking it on the same-sex tip, and as a practicing bisexual, I don't appreciate it one bit. The last thing I want to think about when my face is firmly entrenched in some hot bitch's crotch is Rosie congratulating herself for standing up for my right to do so. Furthermore, although I make fun of EVERYONE (because there are stupid gay, lesbian, bi, tranny, and straight people in the world to make fun of), I don't think that making fun of all straight people because of a childish personal grudge against one's former colleagues is any way to score points for the gay rights cause. Not only does it antagonize and alienate heterosexuals who support the LGBT community, but it makes you look every bit as bad as the "God Hates Fags" types of intolerant bigoted assholes.
I'm sure the True Colors tour organizers really appreciated Ho'Donnell using their concert as a forum for some quality breeder bashing, given that their promotional material includes a prominent quote from Ms. Lauper stating "We should all have the right to live with the same dignity, opportunity, and safety. It shouldn't matter what anyone's sexual orientation is." That underscores better than anything else what an embarrassment Rosie is as a mouthpiece for the gays. Bitch needs to stuff some Ho-Hos in that fucking hetero-bashing yap of hers and go back to tending her duckies or whatever the hell she does in her spare time, and quit giving those of us who like hot girl-on-girl (or guy-on-guy, or whatever) action a bad name.
Labels: assholes, fat fucks, lezbollah, oh the horror, overcompensation, ranting, retard rage, scathing indictments, stank vaginas, you're ugly
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Rosie might very be the nastiest piece o' shit to ever appear on network television. I'll bet she turns up on a Learning Channel special featuring the Brookhaven Clinic for the morbidly obese. I swear: give it five years.
# posted by 
: 6/19/2007 11:34 PM
: 6/19/2007 11:34 PM
I don't know, Razzy. I mean you've got a right to sound off on whatever you want, cause shit, this is your blog. And that's one of the reasons why I religiously read your awesome posts. But, for some reason, Rosie doesn't really seem to bother me too much. The poetry is crappy and she also seems like she'd be kind of a drag at a party. At the same time I'm with her on how she feels ab Bush and the war and liked the fact that she used her notoriety to expose middle america to some of these criticisms.
I guess the other thing is that as a woman, who's mouthy and who likes mouthy women, I get irritated that dumb ass guys (like Trump) get so intimidated by these types of women--Rosie included.
But, whatever man, everyone's entitled to their opinion and can i just say that I fucking love your blog.
I guess the other thing is that as a woman, who's mouthy and who likes mouthy women, I get irritated that dumb ass guys (like Trump) get so intimidated by these types of women--Rosie included.
But, whatever man, everyone's entitled to their opinion and can i just say that I fucking love your blog.
# posted by : 6/20/2007 12:39 PM
: 6/20/2007 12:39 PM
Anonymous,
I'm no fan of his, nor of his pet projects (read the Apprentice, Miss Universe, etc.) but Donald Trump is not a "dumb ass." His financial empire was not built by accident, nor thorugh some sort of conspiracy. Anyway, my two cents.
I'm no fan of his, nor of his pet projects (read the Apprentice, Miss Universe, etc.) but Donald Trump is not a "dumb ass." His financial empire was not built by accident, nor thorugh some sort of conspiracy. Anyway, my two cents.
# posted by : 6/20/2007 1:52 PM
: 6/20/2007 1:52 PM
Hi financial empire is questionable--he's been bailed out by his family and he's been bankrupt more than once. He's basically the dumb ass son of a wealthy developer. Yes it's true he's smarter than the average rich kid--ie Paris or Nicole. But, multiplying wealth is not too difficult when you've got millions to begin with and you're a real estate developer in a city who's laws are absolutely lopsided in your favor.
He's also a boorish dick and fucking ugly;-)
He's also a boorish dick and fucking ugly;-)
# posted by : 6/20/2007 2:39 PM
: 6/20/2007 2:39 PM
Quit saying ur bi when UR REALLY NOT! Kissing girls for attention doesnt count! I get real sick of studio lesbians causally saying dyke and fgag like its a right when its really wrong and offensive. Go back to talking about cute boys u like and shopping and stfu about stuff u dont know and quit f*king FAKING LESBIAN, UR NOT!
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# posted by : 6/21/2007 1:10 PM
: 6/21/2007 1:10 PM Links to this post:
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