Thursday, June 21, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: HotLawyer and Morrissey'sHair
Name: HotLawyer and Morrissey'sHair
Real Name: Raul and Fidel. Just kidding! Their names are withheld--they have important jobs and don't need some judge Googling them and asking them why they associate with a dipshit like myself
DOB: June 21, 1978--THEIR BIRTHDAY IS TODAY!!!!!
Occupation: Attorneys-at-Law. According to their MySpaces, HotLawyer "serves as a check to prevent the government from incarcerating the poor at will" (ie: he provides dumbasses who blow up their meth labs with a vigorous defense) and Morrissey'sHair is "counsel to the insolvent" (ie: he structures bankruptcy settlements).
Hometown: Federal Way, WA in the magnificent P-N-Dub
Current Residence: Tacoma, WA, City of Destiny (HotLawyer) and Seattle, WA, City of Hipster Al Gore-Worshipping Snobs (Morrissey'sHair).
Reasons Why I Want to Hit That Hotness: For starters, it's their birthday. Last year I tracked Morrissey's mopey ass down and forced him to sing for them, because they both are abnormally fixated on him. Last time I was in the P-N-Dub, Morrissey'sHair actually blew off going down to Tacoma for my last Saturday in town because he had to retire early, so he could wake up at the cock's crow and STALK MORRISSEY AROUND SEATTLE all day on Sunday. Their Morrissey fetishes are no joke. Anyway, since this year Morrissey is off touring somewhere (to avoid the same thing happening, no doubt), and I've been slammed with work and didn't have time to go abduct him, I thought I'd give them a shout-out here. I went to high school with these two characters, and back then we mainly functioned as philosophical adversaries in various honors classes-turned-forums for debate. After college, they became my Friendsters, but I didn't see them often since they were off in law school. However, shortly after I started this very website, when there was nothing on it but a 50 Cent album review and some poorly laid out news blurbs about the Pope, they both independently e-mailed me to tell me how great they thought it was. Before any of my closest friends could be persuaded to read my site, HotLawyer and Morrissey'sHair were checking it on the daily. As a result, I consider them both good friends and great guys, and they're right up there with MillerTime on my "must-call-immediately" list when I go back to the P-N-Dub.
I shouldn't actually say they are "Dudes I Want to Hit" because in truth, I've already got carnal knowledge of one of them (and I'm not saying which one) from one very drunken night a long, long time ago. On another occasion, I tried to convince the other one to indulge in the overwhelmingly awesome experience of banging me, if for no other reason than I wanted to take the sexual equivalent of the Pepsi challenge. I mean, come on, who doesn't want to hit a pair of twins?! Unfortunately for me, he gave me some song and dance about how I was like a sister to him and he's known me forever and it would be weird and blah blah blah, so I couldn't do any kind of comparative study. Oh well. I'll just have to settle for their excellent company. They're both super smart, hilarious, witty, swarthy, devastatingly handsome, and I'm lucky to count them among my close friends and most beloved, platinum elite Razzyphiles. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GUYS! Make sure you guys get drunk, get crunk, and get laid!
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot dudes, HotLawyer, Morrissey'sHair, P-N-Dub
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Thanks for the big ups, Razzy! Just when I was about to let the depression of turning 29 completely envelope my day, here you are reminding the world of my Platinum Elite status! You've made my day.
Beers and shots at the Deadliest Catch bar in Ballard await your next visit.
Beers and shots at the Deadliest Catch bar in Ballard await your next visit.
Razzy, you rule! Nothing like a massive shout out on theblog to ring in yet another year of madness. Here's to even more partying, good times, virology, and shit-talking about Pierce County!
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# posted by 
: 6/21/2007 3:38 PM
: 6/21/2007 3:38 PM Links to this post:
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