Monday, June 11, 2007
This is not why I'm hot
I am an idiot when it comes to the sun. Because of the decided lack of melanin in my skin, I burn very easily, but that doesn't stop me from running around on the beach all day without reapplying sunscreen. Then, when I've inevitably been sunburned, I bitch and moan about my own stupidity concerning sun protection. A couple years ago, I got burned so badly in Belize that my chest was blistered and literally bleeding. This year, I've decided to take my sun safety more seriously, since getting melanoma is decidely uncool. So when J-Sexy and I went to beach it up on Fire Island yesterday, I made sure to bring SPF 40 waterproof sunscreen.
Even though it was somewhat overcast, I still started diligently applying my sunscreen. This was "Sport" sunscreen that came in a spray bottle, and after spritzing myself with it, decided to make a dirty joke.
"Hey J-Sexy, what does this look like?"
"Huh?" she looked up from sunscreening herself. "Oh my God, Razzy, you disgosting whore!"
Then we sat around drinking large quantities of Hawaiian punch and rum, swimming, and having a lovely day. However, when we returned to Nieuw Amsterdam after a long ride on the LIRR I noticed that my face was a little sore and peeked at myself in the mirror. Apparently I should have imitated a sunscreen facial as opposed to a pearl necklace because today I look like this:
I look like one of those bitches from Discovery Health surgery shows about people with port-wine birthmarks and other disfiguring anomalous medical conditions. It doesn't help that my straggly hair makes me seem like I should be hooking under a freeway overpass somewhere. It seems like I won't be reeling in any fly honeys this week with this freakish dermatological condition, at least since I'm not going to be anywhere near Puyallup, WA, one of the few places in the world where.the exploded meth lab survivor look is considered super hot. I'm about to head into lab, and I can't wait to hear from everyone how busted I look. It's going to be a great week.
Even though it was somewhat overcast, I still started diligently applying my sunscreen. This was "Sport" sunscreen that came in a spray bottle, and after spritzing myself with it, decided to make a dirty joke.
"Hey J-Sexy, what does this look like?"
"Huh?" she looked up from sunscreening herself. "Oh my God, Razzy, you disgosting whore!"
Then we sat around drinking large quantities of Hawaiian punch and rum, swimming, and having a lovely day. However, when we returned to Nieuw Amsterdam after a long ride on the LIRR I noticed that my face was a little sore and peeked at myself in the mirror. Apparently I should have imitated a sunscreen facial as opposed to a pearl necklace because today I look like this:
I look like one of those bitches from Discovery Health surgery shows about people with port-wine birthmarks and other disfiguring anomalous medical conditions. It doesn't help that my straggly hair makes me seem like I should be hooking under a freeway overpass somewhere. It seems like I won't be reeling in any fly honeys this week with this freakish dermatological condition, at least since I'm not going to be anywhere near Puyallup, WA, one of the few places in the world where.the exploded meth lab survivor look is considered super hot. I'm about to head into lab, and I can't wait to hear from everyone how busted I look. It's going to be a great week.
Labels: J-Sexy, oh the horror, Razzification, vanity, you're ugly
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Lovely. Its been a long time since Razzy has showcased what a fat cum splattered slut she is. Thanks you nasty bitch.
# posted by 
: 6/12/2007 2:45 PM
: 6/12/2007 2:45 PM
It's likewise been a long time since someone has resorted to the classic "fat ugly slut" line of hating. You even managed to throw in the requisite incorrect use of the possessive "your" that I often see associated with similarly themed trite-ass insults. I have yet to see anyone come up with anything more clever than "always the cum dumpster, never the bride", though. That one was my all-time favorite.
Hey "anonymous"
Fuck off. If you think Razzy's so nasty then why the fuck are you on here stalking her "fat" ass. Get a life loser.
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Fuck off. If you think Razzy's so nasty then why the fuck are you on here stalking her "fat" ass. Get a life loser.
# posted by : 6/13/2007 10:27 AM
: 6/13/2007 10:27 AM Links to this post:
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