Friday, July 06, 2007
Anyone need a recommendation?
I'm extremely good at writing letters of recommendation. I've done it for a variety of people for a number of different reasons. I once wrote a recommendation for a dude who wanted to be a cop! I find it infinitely amusing that a drunken degenerate is the go-to recommendation writer for people, but I guess I look good on paper and I can write in a persuasive and compelling manner. So long as the people reading the letter don't frequent bars where I might be exposing my breasts, shouting about blow jobs, or humping some random dude in the bathroom, my credibility is just fine.
My most recent request for a letter was from my buddy JerseyGirl, who is purchasing an apartment in the building she currently lives in. Buying real estate in Manhattan is like nowhere else; you actually have to go through an arduous process where they do background checks similar to what the FBI does for its agents. She asked me to send a letter of recommendation on Columbia letterhead extolling her virtues as a potential apartment owner in her classy Upper West Side building, and insisting that she would NEVER have drunken 90210 parties there or be in any way associated with debauchery or illicit activities. I gladly obliged and I have to say, this is the first time I've ever been able to use the phrase "it's no surprise she was working with notable, established journalists like Geraldo Rivera."
Dear Board Members:
My name is Razzy, and I am writing this letter to personally recommend JerseyGirl as an excellent buyer for an apartment in your building.
I have known JerseyGirl since we were undergraduates at Smith College and worked on the editorial board of the college newspaper together. At the time, I was associate editor and JerseyGirl was the news editor. I was first impressed by her intelligence, savvy, wit, and most importantly, her ability to meet deadlines. She maintained an excellent grade point average while going above and beyond to fulfill her responsibilities at the newspaper, which were not insignificant. After I graduated, JerseyGirl became the editor-in-chief of the paper. Given her leadership skills, vivacious personality, editorial talents, and the consistent quality of work she produced, she was the natural choice for this position.
Since her talents in journalism were evident during college, I was not surprised to see her establish herself in that industry for her career. JerseyGirl is very ambitious and it’s also no surprise that within a few years of graduating college, she was working for notable, established journalists like Geraldo Rivera. I expect to see her continue to excel in her current position at MSNBC. When I’ve met her colleagues at social functions, it’s clear to me that they regard her as an esteemed and accomplished professional.
Although I am a graduate student in microbiology and she works in the cable news industry and we do not have much in common as far as our careers are concerned, her company is always enjoyable and I am glad we have remained friends. She is an engaging conversationalist and a loyal friend. I know that when I spend time with her, I can count on laughing heartily and having engaging conversations. I also know that I can trust her with my confidences and greatly value her advice. I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate to count JerseyGirl as a close friend.
I think that JerseyGirl would be an excellent addition to your building. I have no doubt that she will be a good neighbor and a responsible tenant. Please consider JerseyGirl as a strong candidate for purchasing a unit in your building.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Best wishes,
Razzy
I can really lay it on thick. She's totally getting this apartment. I rule.
My most recent request for a letter was from my buddy JerseyGirl, who is purchasing an apartment in the building she currently lives in. Buying real estate in Manhattan is like nowhere else; you actually have to go through an arduous process where they do background checks similar to what the FBI does for its agents. She asked me to send a letter of recommendation on Columbia letterhead extolling her virtues as a potential apartment owner in her classy Upper West Side building, and insisting that she would NEVER have drunken 90210 parties there or be in any way associated with debauchery or illicit activities. I gladly obliged and I have to say, this is the first time I've ever been able to use the phrase "it's no surprise she was working with notable, established journalists like Geraldo Rivera."
Dear Board Members:
My name is Razzy, and I am writing this letter to personally recommend JerseyGirl as an excellent buyer for an apartment in your building.
I have known JerseyGirl since we were undergraduates at Smith College and worked on the editorial board of the college newspaper together. At the time, I was associate editor and JerseyGirl was the news editor. I was first impressed by her intelligence, savvy, wit, and most importantly, her ability to meet deadlines. She maintained an excellent grade point average while going above and beyond to fulfill her responsibilities at the newspaper, which were not insignificant. After I graduated, JerseyGirl became the editor-in-chief of the paper. Given her leadership skills, vivacious personality, editorial talents, and the consistent quality of work she produced, she was the natural choice for this position.
Since her talents in journalism were evident during college, I was not surprised to see her establish herself in that industry for her career. JerseyGirl is very ambitious and it’s also no surprise that within a few years of graduating college, she was working for notable, established journalists like Geraldo Rivera. I expect to see her continue to excel in her current position at MSNBC. When I’ve met her colleagues at social functions, it’s clear to me that they regard her as an esteemed and accomplished professional.
Although I am a graduate student in microbiology and she works in the cable news industry and we do not have much in common as far as our careers are concerned, her company is always enjoyable and I am glad we have remained friends. She is an engaging conversationalist and a loyal friend. I know that when I spend time with her, I can count on laughing heartily and having engaging conversations. I also know that I can trust her with my confidences and greatly value her advice. I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate to count JerseyGirl as a close friend.
I think that JerseyGirl would be an excellent addition to your building. I have no doubt that she will be a good neighbor and a responsible tenant. Please consider JerseyGirl as a strong candidate for purchasing a unit in your building.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Best wishes,
Razzy
I can really lay it on thick. She's totally getting this apartment. I rule.
Labels: correspondence, intentional buffoonery, JerseyGirl, Razzification
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