Monday, July 30, 2007
At least you’re not…. William from my Junk Inbox
We all get junk e-mail. It is as unavoidable as regular junk mail.But with a simple click of a button, we can make it disappear. Although most people hate junk mail, I enjoy checking it on a frequent basis. I don’t let it pile up into the hundreds before I attack the problem; I barely let it reach 10 before I’m furiously clicking.And it is all due to people who are under appreciated like William from my Junk Inbox. As you will see above, William recently left me an amazing message in regards to growing out my penis. Now of course he could have gone the same route as Chasity Burkett, but William wanted to make my penis growing experience as magical as it could be. Although my penis is meant for women, I don’t want to be informed about getting a bigger penis from a woman named Chasity, especially not in the manner of outright claims that
a few inches can make a real difference.This is a special experience in a guy’s life when he decides its time to enlarge his penis. It says that Corvette and those extra muscles just aren’t cutting it. I know I would want to be swooned into this experience, not forced with facts. Chris H. Collins on the other hand tries flattery to appeal to my penis growing curiosity. He simply says, “You King,” and leaves me to figure out the rest by clicking.>But what Chris doesn’t realize is that clicking is half the dance. Everyone loves a compliment but mystery and intrigue are a lot more appealing. I wonder about William and this “big dick fairy.” Is he the “big dick fairy?” Is the “big dick fairy” a magical creature that will extend my penis to new lengths? Or maybe the “big dick fairy” is an angry homosexual with a large penis that is itching to visit.
Either way, William has to share a box with the rest of these assholes who don’t have a speck of creativity. While people like Amelia make demands out of my time and phone to call “Shaun ASAP”, people like Potter don’t even bother trying anymore with subject lines like “Proposal.” The Reply and Forward that Octavio and Carlo try respectively has been done to death so they don’t even peak my interest. But William, you have gotten me interested in your story. Sure, I may not want to enlarge my penis because I’m frankly happy with my size, but I wonder what works of yours the world was ignoring that drove you to write such amazing subject lines. William is probably dying a slow death because of the creativity that he shares is going unnoticed. William reminds me of Kevin Scott from the Public Service Announcements against drugs.
The only difference is that I’m the only one who hears William and I wish I could tell him, “Don’t give up.” But responding to his message would only resort to more junk email from people who might not be William. So be lucky you’re not William, a pearl in a sea of penis and money laundering emails.
Post by Ryle from OverAdulthood: Humor News Daily!
Labels: correspondence, hot dudes, perversion, Ryle
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