Friday, July 27, 2007
Cover boys
If you haven't seen this month's cover of XXL magazine, consider yourself fortunate. And then don't read any further because here it is:
EWWWW!!!! I can't decide whether Dwayne "Lil' Wayne" Carter or his adopted father Brian "Baby/Birdman" Williams is more revolting. Why they decided to have a contest to see whose prison tats are uglier is completely beyond me. I'm going with Baby's, only because it appears he has Carol Burnett tattooed on his stomach right below the faces of Weezy F Baby and what I think is blonde Lindsay Lohan with a killer case of coke bloat. And what's with the tattooed teardrops?! Unless they consider Cash Money Records' acrimonious business relationship with and eventual firing of Juvenile, Mannie Fresh, and B.G. to be murderous, they haven't killed anybody! The only incident their Wikipedia pages mentions even close to commission of a homicide is that as a child, Tha Carter shot himself in the foot with his biological, not-Baby father's gun.
This looks like it should be the box cover for some kind of hood-themed gay porn. Given that their fictional father-son relationship has seemed mighty incestuous on occasion, I wouldn't be surprised if this was shot during an outtake of Hung Thug Studz or something like that. Everything about this picture is pretty homolicious, from Birdman's arm draped a little too affectionately over Weezy's shoulder to that retarded Apolo Anton Ohno soul patch that Lil' Wayne is rocking. It should be subtitled "Survival of the Faggiest," because this is burying the needle on my gaydar. My only question is what they do with their jewelry when they're getting it on. It must be pretty tricky to 69 when you're wearing fifty pounds of chunky platinum around your neck! I have problems when I'm bending over a dick wearing one of my tiny Catholic saint medals, much less a 200 karat ruby and diamond-encrusted Birdman spinner chain.
On the bright side, however, it looks like Baby's been watching his carbs and hitting the gym more often, because he seems to have lost about 50 pounds. That's surprising, because I always heard that semen has lots of calories in it. Maybe he's like me and likes the money shot to go on his chest or face to avoid packing on the pounds. Either that, or maybe Lil' Wayne ejaculates TrimSpa. Who knows?
This looks like it should be the box cover for some kind of hood-themed gay porn. Given that their fictional father-son relationship has seemed mighty incestuous on occasion, I wouldn't be surprised if this was shot during an outtake of Hung Thug Studz or something like that. Everything about this picture is pretty homolicious, from Birdman's arm draped a little too affectionately over Weezy's shoulder to that retarded Apolo Anton Ohno soul patch that Lil' Wayne is rocking. It should be subtitled "Survival of the Faggiest," because this is burying the needle on my gaydar. My only question is what they do with their jewelry when they're getting it on. It must be pretty tricky to 69 when you're wearing fifty pounds of chunky platinum around your neck! I have problems when I'm bending over a dick wearing one of my tiny Catholic saint medals, much less a 200 karat ruby and diamond-encrusted Birdman spinner chain.
On the bright side, however, it looks like Baby's been watching his carbs and hitting the gym more often, because he seems to have lost about 50 pounds. That's surprising, because I always heard that semen has lots of calories in it. Maybe he's like me and likes the money shot to go on his chest or face to avoid packing on the pounds. Either that, or maybe Lil' Wayne ejaculates TrimSpa. Who knows?
Labels: Cash Money, Lil' Wayne, nudity, rap, vulgar display of faggotry, you're ugly
Comments:
Links to this post:
<< Home
you obviously don't know shit about cash money. do you even know who yellowboy is? no and you're making statements like "they haven't killed anybody". this rant wasn't funny, and it shows because no one even left a comment until now. just shut up and keep showing your titties.
Post a Comment
# posted by 
: 5/05/2008 12:57 PM
: 5/05/2008 12:57 PM Links to this post:
<< Home
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
