Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Daily Douchebag: Catherine Zeta-Jones
DOB: September 26, 1969
Occupation: Actress, spokeswhore, aesthetic glutton
Hometown: Swansea, West Glamorgan, South Wales
Current residence: Los Angeles, California and a palatial estate in the Bahamas
Douchebaggery: Normally, I wouldn't give two shits about CZJ, because I don't watch the types of movies that she's in (romantic comedies, musicals) and if celebrities want to be self-indulgent gluttons, so be it. However, much as I can relate to a chick who hearts 2 fuck, I get really annoyed with bitches who front like they're classier than the damn Queen of England, when they're really the Welsh equivalent of trailer trash.
CZJ is always going to upper crust golf tournaments and gets her hair washed with $400-a-pop Iranian caviar, and generally acting like some sort of asshole from the Second Estate. I wouldn't be surprised if her ass bought a title from some broke-ass ruined noble long parted with the lands in his duchy or whatever so that people can call her "Lady Zeta-Jones Douglas." One time, this humorless snob actually sicced her lawyers on some screenwriters because they were naming a dog after her in the film, and God forbid this haughty, pretentious twat should ever be associated with something so low and coarse as man's best friend. However, despite the trappings of superiority, she demonstrates all the time that you can take the girl out of the council flat but you can't take the council flat out of the girl. Nothing says class and sophistication like getting topless and puffing away on a Marb Light when you're 8 months pregs and bulging like that egg-laying queen thing from Aliens!
Labels: Daily Douchebag, musicals suck, PWT, sluts, smoking
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