Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Dayle Hinman
DOB: September 21, 1952
Occupation: criminal profiler, resident Court TV sexpot
Hometown: North Palm Beach, Florida
Current Residence: wherever in Florida there's an unsolved murder going down, and when there's not, Melbourne Beach.
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: LL Cool Jew and I were discussing the sad demise of Court TV the other night, and reminiscing about our fond memories of it. At one point, LL Cool Jew was completely obsessed with "Forensic Files" (as was I to a lesser degree, because I like anything that makes actual science--and not that ridiculous instantaneous mass spectrometry and sequence analysis nonsense they do on "CSI"--look useful and cool). I think her Friendster page from that era actually included the line "No date? Saturday Night Solution" in the "TV Shows" section of her profile. My favorite part of the Saturday Night Solution was BY FAR this show called "Body of Evidence: From the Case Files of Dayle Hinman."
Dayle Hinman is a retired FBI criminal profiler who got a show because she's interesting (intrepid woman in male-dominated field kicking ass and looking hot) and because she's every serial killer/rapist's worst nightmare. Once the local cops in Gatortown, Florida or wherever are stumped by a string of vicious crimes, she breaks out her completely unnecessary magnifying glass for style points and gets on the case. She's awesome at her job, too. She'll look at crappy, small town forensics department-caliber crime scene Polaroids and pick out a random shoe in the background, then say, "Based on the casual placement of that shoe, you can tell that the perpetrator is an albino male, approximately 45-48 years of age, whose favorite pasttimes are attending monster truck shows and eating spaghetti." Then, just for the hell of it, she'll throw on some shorts and go for a jog or grab her Glock and hit the gun range for a little firearms training. Retirement from doing anything but televised consulting for podunk police departments doesn't mean she should slack on the straight-shooting, and the target practice also gives her an opportunity to show off her always impeccable French manicure. Then she'll finish up her leisure activities and check up on the cops, who managed to find the suspect. She'll show up, take one look at him, and tell the cops exactly where to find the damning evidence that secures his inevitable conviction. "Judging by his history of violence against women and his arrogant disregard for our ability to notice his discarded shoe at the crime scene, I think it's likely that you'll find the murder weapon hidden beneath the leopard-printed seat of his '81 Chevy LUV truck." Sure enough, the cops do, and Dayle heads to her warehouse of cabinets to file yet another closed case.
Dayle might be a little old and weathered, but I don't care. She's fierce, and you know she thinks she is incontrovertibly hot stuff. That's probably why she managed to excel as a ball-busting, triathlon-running, Ted Bundy-catching stud of a FBI agent back in the days when most of the women were probably there to make coffee and take dictation. She does her thing and she doesn't care, and that is why she rules her profession (and probably everything else in her life). Every girl could learn a thing or two about self-confidence and asskickery from Special Agent Hinman. She's about as special as they get.
A reason why I love her even more is that picture #2 on her CourtTV photo gallery is captioned, "After the shoot, Dayle enjoys natural light and sparkling water." Dayle drinks Natty Light?! I knew that bitch was trash like me. She rules.
Labels: crime and punishment, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot chicks
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Dude, thats 'natural light' as in turning off the studio lights, not the #1 best beer for trailer trash like us...
but, you're right, she HOT!!! she can have me anytime
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but, you're right, she HOT!!! she can have me anytime
# posted by 
: 10/20/2007 9:52 PM
: 10/20/2007 9:52 PM Links to this post:
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