Thursday, July 12, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Ichiro Suzuki
DOB: October 22, 1973
Occupation: Right fielder, Seattle Mariners
Hometown: Toyoyama, Nishikasugai, Aichi Prefecture, Japan
Current residence: Seattle, Washington
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Apart from the fact that I'm insanely attracted to any man in a Mariners uniform, Ichiro is such a fucking badass it's not even funny. This season he's batting almost .400, and broke team and American League records for consecutive stolen bases. Currently the Seattle press is reporting that Ichiro just signed a five-year, $100 million contract extension with the M's, which is an obscene contract of almost Yankee-esque proportions, although well deserved.
The other night, I was working late when I got a picture mail message from LL Cool Jew, who is currently in San Francisco visiting her mother. It was a shot of AT&T Park and was accompanied by the message, "I'm at the All Star Game...Ichiro is up to bat!" She knows my deep love for the Mariners and my equally deep, eternal hatred of all things Yankee and so did not send me "A-Rod is up to bat!" or "Jeter is up to bat!" Well, I'm surprised she didn't send another picture of the crowd going absolutely fucking crazy, because right after that, Ichiro hit the first All Star Game inside-the-park home run in MLB history.
I've now realized that I'll pretty much bang any dude who plays right field, all the way from Reggie "I Must Kill. The Queen." Jackson to Vlad "The Impaler" Guerrero to Ichiro Suzuki. When I played softball, I often played right field when I wasn't playing my usual position at second base. This is because balls hardly ever get hit to right field due to the dearth of left-handed batters in slow pitch, and because I'm notoriously bad at fielding fly balls. I can take a grounder's bad hop to the face and be fine enough to still throw the ball to the first baseman for the out, but if a fly is hit to me, I'll run around squinting up at the sky, waving my mitt around in the air, only to have the ball plop to the ground a good five feet behind me. I think I love right fielders because I suck so monumentally at that position, and therefore admire anyone who kicks ass at it. Which Ichiro definitely does. Here's to five more awesome years of Ichiro in his sexy Mariners uniform!
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot dudes, Mariners, sportsmen
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Ichiro plays center...Benzo :-) ( he has played right before though. )
# posted by 
: 7/13/2007 3:47 AM
: 7/13/2007 3:47 AM
Yeah, yeah, I know. He used to play right field though, and I wanted to keep going on about hot right fielders.
Maybe Center Fielders are better anyway. I mean Ichiro is awesome ( although I have no interest in him or any of these guys sexually). Johnny Damon pre-yankees was pretty danm cool, Tori Hunter from the Twins is cool, Kirby Puckett=cool. Need some more?How about Willie Mays? Also...despite his role in the Naked Gun you will not meet a professional athlete past or present who is a bigger asshole in person then Reggie Jackson. Except Barry Bonds. No exceptions. I've met a lot of pro-athletes. Reggie is one of the worst. I even know die hard Yankee fans who hate him. His brother is an even bigger loser. I'll relay a story. His brother comes into the restaurant I work in on a very busy night. He wants a table, despite the fact that we have over 1000 reservations, he feels he should get one because he is "reggie jackson's brother" Eventually he talks my friend at the door into giving him a table. When the waiter greets him he says " do you know who I am?" the waiter responds.."no". He then says, "well maybe you know my brother, they named a month after him." Now the waiter who is a very good friend of mine and a Yankee fan actually did know who he was, but this statement was a lay-up as far as comebacks go soooo my friends says, " that's funny I thought the month came first". Reggie's brother then requested a different table becuase he felt the server did not properly appreciate who his brother was. Good stuff. Benzo
# posted by : 7/13/2007 12:22 PM
: 7/13/2007 12:22 PM
Yeah! Softball!I think you leaving was the beginning of the end for the team. Granted, the company going out of business helped, but the heart wasn't in it when you left, Razzy!
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# posted by : 7/14/2007 3:13 AM
: 7/14/2007 3:13 AM Links to this post:
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