Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Jack Wagner
DOB: October 3, 1959
Occupation: hot soap actor, singer/songwriter, dominator of the celebrity charity golf circuit
Hometown: Washington, Missouri
Current residence: Los Angeles, California
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: If you didn't watch "Melrose Place" or "General Hospital" WAY back in the day, you might not know who Jack Wagner is, but he's the ultimate soap stud. On GH he was the infamous spy, cop, and rock star Frisco Jones, a character whose legend endures to this day in Port Charles. I wasn't much of a GH watcher (although I did have a hard-on for Frisco and the swarthy crime lord/coffee smuggler Sonny Corinthos), but you best believe I got down with "Melrose Place." That show was one of the most ridiculously awesome masterpieces of trash ever created by the FOX network. Jack Wagner steamed up the hospital that employed half the cast of MP as Chief of Staff Dr. Peter Burns, and when he wasn't doing getting medical or playing politics with the hospital administrators, he was usually boning some hot broad on the show (for example, Jamie Luner, the hot bitch below, who played SMITH ALUMNA and mega-cunt Lexi Sterling on the show).
Peter could break out the crazy and manipulative when necessary. Although his medical specialty was unclear (he acted as a surgeon, psychiatrist, and oncologist), he had no qualms playing his "I'm a doctor" card when conspiring to get his lover, patient, tenant, and apparent legal client Dr. Kimberly Shaw lobotomized. Another time, he cleverly ousted MP's queen of mean Amanda Woodward from her job as CEO of D&D Advertising (because even though he was a multi-specialty physician he presumably wanted to get into the marketing biz) by encouraging her to get an insurance policy requiring mandatory employee drug tests, then prescribing her some opiates while telling her it was cold medicine. He also almost murdered her during an operation, was arrested, and then married her! And at the series finale, he came up with a clever plot to escape his homicidal cheerleader wife Eve by faking his and Amanda's deaths and moving to the Dominican Republic, where they were remarried and presumably lived happily ever after. Everything Dr. Peter Burns did was evil, calculating, sinister, and completely absurd, but had copious amounts of pointsworthy style.
The best part about Amanda and Peter is that THEY'RE A COUPLE IN REAL LIFE! After Heather ended her post-Richie Sambora rebound relationship with David Spade, she started banging Jack Wagner. They make a hot couple in the real world as well as in the Aaron Spelling one, and I wholeheartedly approve of their relationship. They probably have incredible sex.
Labels: celebrities, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot dudes, TV
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