Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: J.K. Rowling
DOB: July 31, 1965
Occupation: billionaire author, hottest MILF in England
Hometown: Yate, Gloucestershire, England
Current residence: Aberfeldy, Perth and Kinross, Scotland
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: J.K. Rowling--better known as Jo--is a MILF of the highest order. For starters, she looks pretty hot for a lady over 40, and she knows it. Girlfriend may be a children's book writer, but she always shows up to readings rocking some stellar cleavage, and I approve. Kids have the tendency to strip their mothers of their sexiness like the little succubi that they are, so tits out to Jo for resisting the frumpy Mrs. Weasley style that many moms adopt. You know she's a tiger in the sack, too. Every time you see her anesthesiologist husband, he looks like he's walking on air, and I suspect it's because the lady knows her way around a weiner.
However, while her sexy style is commendable, Jo's greatest achievement is writing the Harry Potter books. I will always be grateful to her for this, because I seriously, seriously love those books. Because of them, she's richer than the damn Queen, and probably more beloved too. I also love that she's as fiercely protective of Harry as she probably is of her own kids. When they made the movies, she was a total control freak about it, thus ensuring that Hollywood couldn't fuck it up horribly. If she hadn't, I could just see the producers casting Shia LeBoeuf as Harry Potter, Lindsay Lohan as Hermione, and Jack Nicholson as Dumbledore, and relocating Hogwarts to L.A. or something, which would have ruined everything.
Adding to the impressiveness of her Harry Potter empire, she started writing the first book in a coffee shop when she was a single mother on welfare. Clearly she was not sitting around trying to find a fucking husband/replacement baby daddy or have more kids to get a few extra shillings in her monthly state benefits check. Jo obviously thought she was something special, and time has since proven that she is indeed an inspiration to other baby-toting bitches who have fallen on hard times. She deserves every last pence of her billion-dollar fortune.
I doubt she'll write another Harry Potter book other than the encyclopedias she's said she'd publish as a companion to the series. I still have a few days before my self-imposed moratorium on discussing the content of book 7 at length expires, but with the way it ended, any future Harry Potter stories would be far-fetched and really unnecessary. Book 7 did a nice job of wrapping everything up. However, you bet your ass I'll buy those encyclopedias once she cranks those out. Jo Rowling is the super hotness, and at this point, she can do no wrong.
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, Harry Potter, hot chicks, sluts
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