Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Rob Schneider
DOB: October 31, 1963
Occupation: Actor, comedian
Hometown: San Francisco, California
Current residence: Los Angeles, California
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Normally Deuce Bigalow would hold little appeal for me, but after yesterday, I've reconsidered. A week ago, he replaced Lindsay Lohan on "The Tonight Show" after her arrest by dressing in drag and impersonating her. Dina Lohan then issued an extraordinarily lame rebuke, calling it "disappointing" during one of her many daily exclusive (aka paid-for) interviews to "Access Hollywood." On an aside, since when did "disappointing" become the new, bland "you asshole?" That's the same language the Atlanta Falcons used when Michael Vick got busted for dogfighting. Not getting into the college of your choice is disappointing. Not finding that shirt you wanted on sale in your size is disappointing. Getting busted on multiple federal charges for unspeakable cruelty to animals is despicable, cowardly, base, and undeserving of any future respect, not disappointing. Stop using soft, vague, noncommital language to call bullshit when you see it, people! Anyway, Rob Schneider shot back at Dina yesterday, and didn't mince any words:
"When Mrs. Lohan stops partying with her child, then I'll have an ounce of respect for her! I don't care if her parents are both crummy – you cannot blame your parents anymore. She's not a kid. Lindsay, get it together, America will forgive you but you gotta do something positive with your life.The only thing I disagree with here is his assertion that Lindsay Lohan has a cute ass. Her ass is flat and unremarkable. Otherwise, however, this is right on point. I never thought that a dude famous for saying "makin' some copies" and portraying the most unsexy male prostitute in the history of the oldest profession would somehow manage to provide the most cogent, insightful analysis of Lindsay Lohan's predicament I've ever heard, but I stand corrected. Rob Schneider kicks ass.
"I hope she does okay but at a certain point, there's so many bigger problems in the world than Lindsay Lohan. I hope she gets her head out of her nice, cute little rear end and finds a life for herself. She's very talented, and a special little actress but there are so many people out there who'd trade positions with her in a heartbeat and use it better than she is."
Labels: celebrities, Daily Dude I Want to Hit
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