Thursday, July 26, 2007
If You Can't Take a Joke, Stay the Fuck Out of Washington.
Being a lawyer sucks for two primary reasons:
a) the general public tend to hate on you; and
b) finding solace amongst your peers is difficult insofar as most lawyers confirm the stereotypes giving rise to reason a, above.
If that weren't enough, most people (myself included) find the justice system itself deeply flawed, from the top down (see, Al Gonzalez, Irv Libby, Paris Hilton, etc...). Every now and then, however, something fucking amazing happens: the system works. And when it does, one can almost hear our Founding Fathers applauding all the way from their plantations in the sky.
Cut to Olympia, Washington, home of the nine biggest judicial playas in the state, and I would venture to say, the entire P-N-Dub: the Supreme Court of the State of Washington.
This morning the Supremes handed down a decision that while lacking in precedential value, will forever be cited by me as undeniable proof that sometimes appellate judges dominate so much butt that all one can do is tip his/her cap in their general direction.
The facts of Woo v. Fireman's Fund Insurance are these:
Robert Woo, an oral surgeon officed in the bustling mecca of commerce that is Auburn, Washington, was sued by a former nurse's assistant for what amounts to the greatest practical joke of all time. You see, Dr. Woo's nurse was an ardent adopter of pot-bellied pigs; she raised several of them, and apparently spoke of them often throughout her 5 year tenure at Woo's office. In turn, Woo incessantly joked about the topic with her, often times saying things to the effect of, "I'm going to barbecue your next adoption", etc. According to Woo (and apparently the nurse as well), the good natured banter simply created a fun work environment. One day, however, perhaps predictably, Woo crossed the line. While performing a procedure on the nurse, a procedure during which the nurse was under general anesthetic, Dr. Woo inserted two "spacers" in her mouth that had been custom-made to resemble boar tusks. He then took a few funny snapshots and circulated them around the office. When nurse found out, she brought suit against Woo for a panoply of torts, eventually settling with him for $250,000.00.
When Woo turned to his malpractice carrier, Fireman's Fund, to tender defense, they refused on the ground that the insurance contract permitted them to avoid coverage for intentional acts. Woo sued them for bad faith, and in a 5-4 decision, the Washington Supreme Court agreed, awarding him $750,000.00 in the process.
You don't have to be an attorney to understand the moral of this story: Dr. Woo is a big ol' pimp, and the Washington State Supreme Court fucking rules. Also, insurance companies blow (as if Hurricane Katrina, the 9-11 tragedy, and John Grisham's "Rainmaker" didn't already hammer that point home). Not sure if Dr. Woo will stay in the practice of dentistry in the wake of his near million dollar windfall, but if he does, that guy's getting my business for the rest of my life.
a) the general public tend to hate on you; and
b) finding solace amongst your peers is difficult insofar as most lawyers confirm the stereotypes giving rise to reason a, above.
If that weren't enough, most people (myself included) find the justice system itself deeply flawed, from the top down (see, Al Gonzalez, Irv Libby, Paris Hilton, etc...). Every now and then, however, something fucking amazing happens: the system works. And when it does, one can almost hear our Founding Fathers applauding all the way from their plantations in the sky.
Cut to Olympia, Washington, home of the nine biggest judicial playas in the state, and I would venture to say, the entire P-N-Dub: the Supreme Court of the State of Washington.
This morning the Supremes handed down a decision that while lacking in precedential value, will forever be cited by me as undeniable proof that sometimes appellate judges dominate so much butt that all one can do is tip his/her cap in their general direction.
The facts of Woo v. Fireman's Fund Insurance are these:
Robert Woo, an oral surgeon officed in the bustling mecca of commerce that is Auburn, Washington, was sued by a former nurse's assistant for what amounts to the greatest practical joke of all time. You see, Dr. Woo's nurse was an ardent adopter of pot-bellied pigs; she raised several of them, and apparently spoke of them often throughout her 5 year tenure at Woo's office. In turn, Woo incessantly joked about the topic with her, often times saying things to the effect of, "I'm going to barbecue your next adoption", etc. According to Woo (and apparently the nurse as well), the good natured banter simply created a fun work environment. One day, however, perhaps predictably, Woo crossed the line. While performing a procedure on the nurse, a procedure during which the nurse was under general anesthetic, Dr. Woo inserted two "spacers" in her mouth that had been custom-made to resemble boar tusks. He then took a few funny snapshots and circulated them around the office. When nurse found out, she brought suit against Woo for a panoply of torts, eventually settling with him for $250,000.00.
When Woo turned to his malpractice carrier, Fireman's Fund, to tender defense, they refused on the ground that the insurance contract permitted them to avoid coverage for intentional acts. Woo sued them for bad faith, and in a 5-4 decision, the Washington Supreme Court agreed, awarding him $750,000.00 in the process.
You don't have to be an attorney to understand the moral of this story: Dr. Woo is a big ol' pimp, and the Washington State Supreme Court fucking rules. Also, insurance companies blow (as if Hurricane Katrina, the 9-11 tragedy, and John Grisham's "Rainmaker" didn't already hammer that point home). Not sure if Dr. Woo will stay in the practice of dentistry in the wake of his near million dollar windfall, but if he does, that guy's getting my business for the rest of my life.
Labels: Law and Order, Morrissey'sHair, P-N-Dub, United States of Asskickery
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My little sister is an evil corporate defense attorney and she rules!
That story should have ended with a
pic of a happily betusked Razzy.
Adobe's lawyers would rather you not use photoshopped as a verb though hehe.
http://www.adobe.com/misc/trade.html
old one but I still chuckle when I read their "Trademarks are not..section"
midway down that page.
Once again..lawyers rule!
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That story should have ended with a
pic of a happily betusked Razzy.
Adobe's lawyers would rather you not use photoshopped as a verb though hehe.
http://www.adobe.com/misc/trade.html
old one but I still chuckle when I read their "Trademarks are not..section"
midway down that page.
Once again..lawyers rule!
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