RazzyBlog: Daily Dude I Want to Hit: BloodyTosser

Friday, August 10, 2007

Daily Dude I Want to Hit: BloodyTosser

Name: Camilla

DOB: November 9, 1977

Occupation: photographer, blogger, Muay Thai fighter

Hometown: London, England

Current residence: Brooklyn, New York

Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: BloodyTosser is one of the most remarkable, interesting people I've met. We met back at Smith when she started dating my friend KatieScarlett, and when she graduated, they went off to art school in Chicago together. Fast forward seven years, and they've long since stopped being a couple in the romantic sense, but are still best friends and business partners. They're brilliant photographers (not that I'm any judge, but people who know about artsy shit also say they're amazing), and they've taken lots of hot nudey pictures of me over the years. Therefore I've had many opportunities (albeit not enough) to hang with BloodyTosser. We've had lots of fun singing mindblowingly awesome duets of "Don't Stop Believin'" together, making fun of the model (me) during some drunken photo shoots, pounding sake at various sushi/karaoke establishments throughout Manhattan, and generally raising hell whenever possible. At her birthday party a couple years ago, she also snapped the greatest candid photo of me EVER:

BloodyTosser is seriously into Muay Thai kickboxing, which is why every time I see her, she's sporting a black eye or a cut lip or a huge facial bruise. She is apparently quite fierce in the ring, having won a medal at some tournament she competed in last month in Mechanicsville, Virginia. She's always had an amazing body, but in the past few months, she's clearly been hitting the weight room, because girlfriend is ripped. Therefore, I am unsurprised that she literally kicked ass at the tournament.

I didn't realize quite how much ass "Milla the Killa" kicked, though, until I was cruising by her blog this morning and saw this video. BloodyTosser is the bitch in the white top who absolutely destroys her opponent:

Okay, so she doesn't actually knock her out or anything, but she does get the other chick's blood all over her sports bra. As an added bonus, you can hear KatieScarlett cheering for her the entire time like a proud parent at a soccer game: "Yeah!", "Get her, Mils!", and Mortal Kombat-style "FINISH HER!" It's lucky I wasn't there, because the whole tape would feature a soundtrack of me drowning out KatieScarlett shouting "Sweep the leg! Sweep the leg! Put her in a body bag, Milla! NO MERCY!" I realize that kickboxing isn't the same as karate, and BloodyTosser is a sight better looking than either Ralph Macchio or the guy who played Johnny from the Kobra Kai dojo, but it would still work.

Anyway, BloodyTosser is the hotness, and while I want to hit her, I pray to God she doesn't ever decide to hit me. My last experience with pugilism was when I clocked Joy Stochosky in the fourth grade for beating me in the Spelling Bee, and I'm out of practice. I get the feeling if BloodyTosser ever hit me, I'd be either out cold or sitting on the floor in a daze with a ring of twittering cartoon birds flying around my head. I better stay on her good side.

Labels: BloodyTosser, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot chicks, sportsmen