Monday, August 27, 2007
Well at least you're not.... Mike Shinoda
"Good idea Mike. Hand the mic over to someone with skills."
I know. I know. You've been wondering why you haven't seen an installment of "Well at least you're not..." lately. Well I've been busy with classes and other random stuff. And plus, greatness need only shine once in a while for you to appreciate it even more. So here I go... Well at least you're not Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park.
For those of you not familiar with the nu-metal genre, Linkin Park is a mainstream rock band from California. Of course no one should be familiar with the nu-metal genre but for purposes of ammo, I looked up most of this stuff on Wikipedia. Anyway, Mike Shinoda is a singer/rapper in the band. I can't call him the lead singer because most of the tracks are sung by Chester Bennington. He was referred to Linkin Park by Jeff Blue (Vp for Zomba Music, now VP for Warner Bros.) Clearly that indicates label influence but Shinoda likes to think otherwise. Warner Bros signed Linkin Park to a record deal shortly afterwards. But the bullshit starts to smell when Mike Shinoda claims his band, Linkin Park, had no label influence by saying on a track called "Get me Gone" (from his side rap project group called Fort Minor):
But my band had my back
So we did the tracks
Put out the album and the talk went flat
It was funny at first but then the humor faded
When some magazines printed that our label made us
We were to be good to be true
Too good to be true Mike? Really? With lyrics so poor, it is no surprise that Shinoda raps less and less as each new Linkin Park album drops. I wouldn't be surprised if Gaynoda (my new name for him) composed most of his beats off of a Rhyming Dictionary. When I entered the word Mike into the rhymer, these words came back (I picked out the best ones that describe Shinoda):
apelike, childlike, doglike, dyke, snaillike, tyke, psych, ruglike, gnomelike
Gaynoda's Fort Minor released "The Rising Tide" before Linkin Park's "Minutes to Midnight." Songs like "Feel like home" contain such genius lyrics like:
Blowing in my hands like it's really gonna stop the chill
I buy a cup of coffee with a five dollar bill
thinking
Laying in that box people look so still
Now I'll admit that I used to like Linkin Park. They have catchy beats that even I enjoy tapping my feet to but I'm tired of Shinoda's lies and poor MC skills. Linkin Park won't be on my download list in the near future. Mike Shinoda needs to move out of California and not rap about the state's semi-mild breeze. Anyone should be lucky to not have such poor rhyming skills. Accompanying the poor rhyming skills is the delusion that Mike thinks he is great at what he does. Now Mike may have a lot of money but you should also be lucky not to be him because he started a band in which he isn't even close to the lead singer. I would say he gets laid but he is married. Shinoda got married in 2003. He essentially traded all sorts of random ass from 18 year old girls across the globe to marry a children's book author. Although she is cute, I can only imagine the dogs get more ass:
So while you may not have a recording contract, record company, millions of dollars, and fans across the globe, you can at least take solace in the fact you're not spewing shit like this:
I'm not trying to bum anyone out
Not trying to be dramatic
just thinking out loud
I'm just trying to make some sense in my mind
Some defense from the cold that I'm feeling outside and for a minute
Escape with some rhythm and rhyme and
Get away from the grey
Just a bit at a time
Delusion can do wonders.
Visit my stomping ground: OverAdulthood
Labels: assholes, crazies, Ryle, small penises, vulgar display of faggotry, you're ugly
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