Friday, September 21, 2007
Patience, precious
I fully intended to be back in the saddle with regard to blogging by today, but unfortunately, not having a computer for the last week really fucked me up in terms of my work backlog. I've got assloads of unfinished shit for my job at the Columbia patent office, and since they actually pay me more than $10 in ad revenues here and there, that has to come first. Also, it seems everyone I know needs some important document proofread, and guess who their favorite editor is? It seems that my friends don't just love me for my incisive wit, willingness to bare my breasts, and legendary beauty; apparently, they also love my obsession with proper spelling and grammar and my ability to edit the shit out of important documents like qualifying exams and cover letters for consulting jobs. Although I don't get paid for that, I'm a giver, so I work with their deadlines too. Besides, my buddy Js and Ps won't be able to come eat wings and watch football with me this Sunday if he's stuck trying to remove all the accidental German words that made their way onto his CV. Good luck trying to get a fancy international management consulting job when your CV says "schiesse" all over it. You see why I have to help.
However, rest assured that this weekend I'll be breaking my way back onto the blog, and by Monday should be back to a normal two-or-more posts a day schedule. I have lots of opinions as to what's been going on since the death of my laptop effectively gagged me on the internets. There's ample material I want to bitch about, like the depressing fact that Fitty is not outselling Kanye (for now!), the tragedy of living in a country where you can be publicly tortured by taser for asking John Kerry impertinent questions, and the fact that I'm pissed that my dogs are completely useless at filling in for me on the blogging tip.
I tried to get Caesar and/or Chingy! to pick up some of the slack yesterday, and Caesar seemed interested in the MacBook only if I would throw it for him to chase, retrieve, and chew. Since I'm not into destroying my brand new $1500 computer, I tried to give Chingy! the job instead. Needless to say, he was not interested in sharing anything with the blogosphere besides his rank breath and his disdain. He was also not a fan of the beeping sound the webcam makes right before it snaps a picture:
CHONGAY CHONG, WEBCAM! CHONGAY CHONG, RAZZYBLOG!
And yes, I know I'm sitting around with no clothes on looking like some amateur porn star trying to duplicate the sexiness attained by the newlywed Mrs. Tonya Harding Gilooly in that masterpiece of leaked sex tape known as Tonya and Jeff's Wedding Night, but like that's a surprise. Just another day in Razzy land, where the Puyallup is being throughly done 24/7.
Anyway, like I said, I'll be back in full motherfucking effect by Monday, and will put up something more clever and substantial this weekend. Thanks for your patience with me in the meantime, and thanks for being such good sports about me putting up semi-nude pics instead of any real writing. I know it's a cop-out, but it's a cop-out with tits, and that's not all bad!
However, rest assured that this weekend I'll be breaking my way back onto the blog, and by Monday should be back to a normal two-or-more posts a day schedule. I have lots of opinions as to what's been going on since the death of my laptop effectively gagged me on the internets. There's ample material I want to bitch about, like the depressing fact that Fitty is not outselling Kanye (for now!), the tragedy of living in a country where you can be publicly tortured by taser for asking John Kerry impertinent questions, and the fact that I'm pissed that my dogs are completely useless at filling in for me on the blogging tip.
I tried to get Caesar and/or Chingy! to pick up some of the slack yesterday, and Caesar seemed interested in the MacBook only if I would throw it for him to chase, retrieve, and chew. Since I'm not into destroying my brand new $1500 computer, I tried to give Chingy! the job instead. Needless to say, he was not interested in sharing anything with the blogosphere besides his rank breath and his disdain. He was also not a fan of the beeping sound the webcam makes right before it snaps a picture:
CHONGAY CHONG, WEBCAM! CHONGAY CHONG, RAZZYBLOG!
And yes, I know I'm sitting around with no clothes on looking like some amateur porn star trying to duplicate the sexiness attained by the newlywed Mrs. Tonya Harding Gilooly in that masterpiece of leaked sex tape known as Tonya and Jeff's Wedding Night, but like that's a surprise. Just another day in Razzy land, where the Puyallup is being throughly done 24/7.
Anyway, like I said, I'll be back in full motherfucking effect by Monday, and will put up something more clever and substantial this weekend. Thanks for your patience with me in the meantime, and thanks for being such good sports about me putting up semi-nude pics instead of any real writing. I know it's a cop-out, but it's a cop-out with tits, and that's not all bad!
Labels: CHONGAY CHONG, computer incompetence, doggity style, intentional buffoonery, internet domination, PWT, Razzification
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Raz, I think I speek for everyone when I say you can post your wit or your cans and its all good to us. A little more of both would be better... both cans I mean.
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# posted by 
: 9/25/2007 1:52 AM
: 9/25/2007 1:52 AM Links to this post:
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