Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Daily Douchebag: Tailor Made
DOB: ???
Occupation: reality whore, "retail planner for a prominent designer in New York"--translation: folds shirts at the Gap
Hometown: ???
Current residence: New York, New York
Douchebaggery: Of all the contestants on "I Love New York 2," probably the most villainous and despicable is Tailor Made. In the premiere, he actually tried to pay the other contestants $100 cash to give him a few minutes alone with New York. He also has been spending big to try and impress her, giving her everything from roses (which were purloined by the possibly retarded contestant and shoulder-licking aficionado, It) to a pair of Manolos. While ostentatious displays of wealth are particularly helpful at winning the heart of sophisticated ladies like Tiffany "New York" Pollard, Tailor Made has demonstrated that he's not exactly a good catch due to some of his other bad habits. More specifically, Tailor Made is a huge snitch who is CONSTANTLY running off to New York's room to tattle on the other contestants, even if the accusations he puts forth are false. Last night, one of the other dudes suggested that a contestant named Pretty might be gay due to what Tailor Made characterized as a decidedly limp wrist, he was in New York's room within five minutes outing pretty. Then, when confronted, he actually SPAT on another contestant named Mr. Wise, which as anyone who recalls the infamous incident on "Flavor of Love" when Pumkin spat on New York after "callin' her out," knows is something New York will not react to kindly:
Such a hot piece. Anyway, to further validate what a fucking asshole he is beyond always tattling and spitting and inciting the other contestants to get violent, Tailor Made gave an interview to some magazine that confirms what any "I Love NY 2" viewer already knows. This guy is what my "I Love New York 2" viewing partner JerseyGirl would characterize as "oh my God, SUCH a total D-bag."
In said interview, Tailor Made showcases his intellect in a string of eloquently phrased synonymous words describing New York's irresistible appeal ("sexy, sassy, independent minded, and not afraid to speak her mind") and his taste for the finer things by sharing the two mottos he lives by ("a lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste" and "work hard but play harder"). He also demonstrates exactly what type of loser snob he actually is when he describes how such a successful "retail planner" wound up on Vh1 Celebreality:
I live in New York and read the Times, exclusively. One day I went to the news stand to pick up a copy and they were sold out. So I reluctantly bought the Post. I generally refuse to buy the Post because of their conservative agenda (even though I love Page Six). Anyway, I'm flipping through the paper and I see an article about an open casting call for I Love New York 2. I decided to go . . . and two months later I was in New York's house competing for her heart.First off, what kind of news kiosk runs out of the fucking New York Times? Even if Tailor Made does patronize the most ill-prepared news kiosk in the city, it's not like there's not another one down the block where he can buy his precious snotty Times instead of the greatest paper in the history of the printed word, the New York Post. And yeah, the Post really is doing a lot to push that conservative agenda he complains about by featuring information about casting calls for "I Love New York 2," because nothing says "conservative" like a woman whose favorite form of rebuttal is mooning her opponent. SHUT UP ALREADY, Tailor Made! New York needs to deny him a chain next week. And viva Midget Mac!
Labels: assholes, Daily Douchebag, I Love New York, intentional buffoonery, overcompensation, TV, Vh1
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