Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Feelin' On Yo Booty
Yesterday I was chatting with Morrissey'sHair, and naturally we were spending some of the time conversating about my favorite flirt/king of R&B...Robert Sylvester Kelly. Morrissey'sHair (being the world's biggest Morrissey fan) is new to the world of amazing genius that is Robert Sylvester Kelly's body of work, so he had never seen the awesomeness that is the "Feelin' On Yo Booty" video.
"Basically, the premise is that R. Kelly is only in town for the weekend, and he is interrupted whilst grooming himself for a hot night at the club, causing him to show up and perform with his hair half-cornrowed and half-Afro puffed. Once he gets there, he just dances slow with a girl, feels on her fabled booty, and then...he's out."
I then proceeded to go on for about ten minutes about all the great things about the video, such as the fact that Lil' Kim is inexplicably in it as one of the R-uh in R&B's love interests and as the target of the song's greatest line: "And your hair weave's lookin' kinda purty...the way you back it up on me, baby, LAWD have mercy." It's hilarious enough that anyone would characterize Lil' Kim's tracks as "kinda purty," but when it's coming from Robert Sylvester, it's right up there with the Seahawks winning a Super Bowl, sex with 50 Cent, or eating pepperoni pizza in my pantheon of favorite things.
Anyway, I just couldn't sleep thinking about how tremendously culturally deprived Morrissey'sHair is for not having witnessed this. It's so kickass that it's almost like the part at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana Jones has to close his eyes so as not to be destroyed with the Nazis by witnessing the awesome and terrible power of God himself. Luckily, R. Kelly has not achieved I Am Who Am-like powers (yet), so you can view prime scenes like Kells indulging in a bubble bath with two video hos and a bottle of Cris from the "Feelin' On Yo Booty" video without fear of divine immolation, and I strongly encourage you all to do so IMMEDIATELY. This is my song FOR REAL, no doubt.
Players want to play, ballers want to ball, R. Kelly's takin' off after this dance, and all is right in the world. If it's your birthday, or if you want to get drunk, or if you've got some cash or your own job, then put your hands up. My hands are up. No, seriously...they are. That's what happens when the DJ makes me feel thugged out.
"Basically, the premise is that R. Kelly is only in town for the weekend, and he is interrupted whilst grooming himself for a hot night at the club, causing him to show up and perform with his hair half-cornrowed and half-Afro puffed. Once he gets there, he just dances slow with a girl, feels on her fabled booty, and then...he's out."
I then proceeded to go on for about ten minutes about all the great things about the video, such as the fact that Lil' Kim is inexplicably in it as one of the R-uh in R&B's love interests and as the target of the song's greatest line: "And your hair weave's lookin' kinda purty...the way you back it up on me, baby, LAWD have mercy." It's hilarious enough that anyone would characterize Lil' Kim's tracks as "kinda purty," but when it's coming from Robert Sylvester, it's right up there with the Seahawks winning a Super Bowl, sex with 50 Cent, or eating pepperoni pizza in my pantheon of favorite things.
Anyway, I just couldn't sleep thinking about how tremendously culturally deprived Morrissey'sHair is for not having witnessed this. It's so kickass that it's almost like the part at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana Jones has to close his eyes so as not to be destroyed with the Nazis by witnessing the awesome and terrible power of God himself. Luckily, R. Kelly has not achieved I Am Who Am-like powers (yet), so you can view prime scenes like Kells indulging in a bubble bath with two video hos and a bottle of Cris from the "Feelin' On Yo Booty" video without fear of divine immolation, and I strongly encourage you all to do so IMMEDIATELY. This is my song FOR REAL, no doubt.
Players want to play, ballers want to ball, R. Kelly's takin' off after this dance, and all is right in the world. If it's your birthday, or if you want to get drunk, or if you've got some cash or your own job, then put your hands up. My hands are up. No, seriously...they are. That's what happens when the DJ makes me feel thugged out.
Labels: hilarious shit, I LOVE IT, Morrissey'sHair, ridiculous absurdity, Robert Sylvester Kelly
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hey pretty mama, how you doin???
that totz inspired me to throw on the iPodz. and imagine FalloniousMonk serenading me to this jam as she so expertly does.
i wish my body would make someone feel like spendin'.
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that totz inspired me to throw on the iPodz. and imagine FalloniousMonk serenading me to this jam as she so expertly does.
i wish my body would make someone feel like spendin'.
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