Monday, October 01, 2007

 

HELP

This is an impassioned plea to all my Razzyphiles. I need your advice and assistance with an extremely important matter. Every year, I set the standard for incorporating nudity and general whorishness into my Halloween costume.

Two Halloweens ago, I won a windfall of liquor (and respect) in a costume contest which was most certainly judged by a bunch of drunk and horny dudes for my "King Slut(ankhamen)" ensemble. This outfit consisted of a Pharaoh hat, gold jewelry, and five rolls of Rite-Aid gauze. Five rolls sounds like a lot more gauze than it actually is:

Then last year, there were no prizes, but I nonetheless was lauded for my interpretation of Kimberly "Lil' Kim" Jones's legendary VMA dress:

The problem I'm having is that this year, I simply cannot think of anything short of going as Lady Godiva and just walking into the party butt naked that can match my previous efforts at costuming. This is unacceptable because having an outrageous Halloween costume is kind of one of my things. I have been trying desperately to think of how I can top my previous efforts, but I am uninspired and need some suggestions. So PLEASE, if you have any ideas about how I can partially or fully expose one or more breasts as part of a funny or clever costume, holler at your bitch in the comments or by e-mail! Seriously, if you come up with a great idea, I'll consider blowing you. No joke! Help a hooker out! I have a reputation to uphold.

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# posted by Razzy @ 6:32 AM
Comments:
How about Nomi, Elizabeth Berkley's character from "Showgirls?"
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/01/2007 11:03 AM
 
How about a test tube? You could fill it to the waist with some substance that I'm not creative enough to come up with, then leave the top empty therefore exposing both breasts.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/01/2007 2:53 PM
 
A few suggestions:
1) Darryl Hannah's character from Clan of the Cave Bear
2) Topless Mermaid
3) Barista from Parkland's Hot Chickalatte (panties and an apron)
4) Mark Garcia circa 1995 after a rager with Jenny Austin.
# posted by Anonymous HotLawyer : 10/01/2007 6:03 PM
 
Razzy- Janet Jackson. You have two options:

1) Find yourself one of those hippie-star pieces of jewelry here, , modify your Lil Kim dress to black, and you've got this goin on. Instantly recognizable, and you probably don't even have to really pierce the thing! (Special bonus if you duct tape a Justin Timberlake blowup doll to your left side and have him hold a piece of your top.)

2) Get a pair of hands, some glue, and rock them as such!!!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/01/2007 9:38 PM
 
-mrb
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/01/2007 9:40 PM
 
Pretty tough to top "King Slut".... I like hotlawyer's suggestion for a topless mermaid... We had a joke waaaay back in high school... re: Pizza Hut.... the guys called a girl that worked there, "Pizza Slut", "Pussy to Go"..... My apologies in advance, because my suggestion is probably not up to your standards....I'm sure you'll come up with something clever...
# posted by Anonymous RockintheRaritan : 10/01/2007 10:25 PM
 
Go as Brittany from her recent MTV Music awards appearance and have your cooch hang out.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/03/2007 2:44 PM
 
Go as as your religious, crazy aunt. You can bring the whore out in her!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10/03/2007 2:45 PM
 
I like the idea of the topless mermaid or Britney. If you went as Nomi though, I would fucking piss myself. That is one of my all time favorite trainwrecks to watch!
# posted by Anonymous J. Sexilicious : 10/03/2007 5:40 PM
 
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