Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Robert, you did this, Kells, I heard you did that
Every time I think R. Kelly has set the new benchmark for ridiculous absurdity, he goes and breaks his own record with another offering of awesomeness. I'm so glad that FINALLY the world seems to have taken notice of Robert Sylvester's genius and waits eagerly for his latest blessing in the form of brilliant lyrics, heavily dramatic musical soap operas, or inspired and award-worthy videos.
His latest achievement is the video for "Real Talk," a song in which the listener hears Kells engaging in some domestic hostility with his significant other. Because the R-uh in R&B is on the phone, we don't get to hear her side of the story, but we can infer that she's being unreasonable. Then again, I don't blame his woman for being pissed about him gallivanting about, getting blasted off that Hennessy, being a dog on the prowl when he's walking through the mall on account of being a flirt, steadily tossing that cash flow at various Chicago-area strippers, and assorted other infidelity-related behaviors.
Regardless of whose side you take, it's clear that once again R. Kelly has succeeded in creating a dramatic and supremely entertaining exploration of the complex dynamics of a relationship. I'm also pleased that once again, much like in his classic "Feelin' On Yo Booty" video, Kells has embraced a wacky asymmetrical hairstyle, a look which he alone can rock due to his unique ability to marry the awe-inspiring and the hilarious. Brace yourself, because he's going to get a drink and "do this shit for y'all on YouTube," because God knows we fans all need Robert Sylvester to take a break from his volatile, potentially violent poker game to deliver some real talk for us:
I particularly applaud Robert Sylvester's passionate defense of his Constitutional right to use profanity for emphasis and realism, or as he puts it, "Profanity represents just how real shit gets when you're arguing with your girl and shit." Because as an avid user of profanity myself, I think it's necessary when your woman is spending too much time fucking with old, jealous, no-man-havin' hoes, considering that what they eat don't make him shit, and accusing you unjustly of some old bullshit he's gotten into at the club in the VIP. Not to mention that I can't even begin to count the number of times I've told a smart-mouthed ho who was getting out of line, "Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfuckin' clothes, with your triflin' ass, and that's real talk." That's totally how I dumped my last boyfriend. I told him the next time he gets horny, he can go fuck one of his funky-ass friends. Isn't that the kind of "real talk" most people engage in during particularly stressful domestic spats?
And yes, I is tweekin'. I love Robert Sylvester Kelly SO MUCH. My love just continues to grow and grow and grow. And that right there is some real talk.
His latest achievement is the video for "Real Talk," a song in which the listener hears Kells engaging in some domestic hostility with his significant other. Because the R-uh in R&B is on the phone, we don't get to hear her side of the story, but we can infer that she's being unreasonable. Then again, I don't blame his woman for being pissed about him gallivanting about, getting blasted off that Hennessy, being a dog on the prowl when he's walking through the mall on account of being a flirt, steadily tossing that cash flow at various Chicago-area strippers, and assorted other infidelity-related behaviors.
Regardless of whose side you take, it's clear that once again R. Kelly has succeeded in creating a dramatic and supremely entertaining exploration of the complex dynamics of a relationship. I'm also pleased that once again, much like in his classic "Feelin' On Yo Booty" video, Kells has embraced a wacky asymmetrical hairstyle, a look which he alone can rock due to his unique ability to marry the awe-inspiring and the hilarious. Brace yourself, because he's going to get a drink and "do this shit for y'all on YouTube," because God knows we fans all need Robert Sylvester to take a break from his volatile, potentially violent poker game to deliver some real talk for us:
I particularly applaud Robert Sylvester's passionate defense of his Constitutional right to use profanity for emphasis and realism, or as he puts it, "Profanity represents just how real shit gets when you're arguing with your girl and shit." Because as an avid user of profanity myself, I think it's necessary when your woman is spending too much time fucking with old, jealous, no-man-havin' hoes, considering that what they eat don't make him shit, and accusing you unjustly of some old bullshit he's gotten into at the club in the VIP. Not to mention that I can't even begin to count the number of times I've told a smart-mouthed ho who was getting out of line, "Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfuckin' clothes, with your triflin' ass, and that's real talk." That's totally how I dumped my last boyfriend. I told him the next time he gets horny, he can go fuck one of his funky-ass friends. Isn't that the kind of "real talk" most people engage in during particularly stressful domestic spats?
And yes, I is tweekin'. I love Robert Sylvester Kelly SO MUCH. My love just continues to grow and grow and grow. And that right there is some real talk.
Labels: boyfriends, hilarious shit, I LOVE IT, ridiculous absurdity, Robert Sylvester Kelly
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