RazzyBlog: Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Dani from “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”

Friday, November 09, 2007

Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Dani from “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”

Real Name: Dani Campbell

DOB: 1977 (pretty old for a dating reality show)

Occupation: Firefighter, paramedic, hot lesbian, dumb slut suitor

Hometown: ?

Current residence: Fort Lauderdale, FL (No. 1 U.S. gay vacation spot!)

Why I Want to Hit That Hotness: She may have “Two-A-Days” hair, but Dani is my type of lesbian. I know that’s pretty boring to most people who would hope that pretty girly girls like kissing others of their own kind, but me? Not so much. Still, even Razzy, lover of lipstick lezzies, sees it in Dani:

LL Cool Jew: she is soooooooooooooookewt
LL Cool Jew: i have a totz krush on her
Razzy: she is totally your type of dyke
Razzy: butch but not tranny
LL Cool Jew: zackly
LL Cool Jew: with a really pretty face
LL Cool Jew: and narrow hips
LL Cool Jew: if she were around me
LL Cool Jew: i would act sooooo dum
Razzy: LOL
LL Cool Jew: i would be like HA HA HA AHHA HAA giggle HAHA
LL Cool Jew: i luv u
Razzy: oh, dani, tell me more about life at the firehouse!
LL Cool Jew: dani, wow, can you guys really cook??
LL Cool Jew: can i come cook for you?
LL Cool Jew: can i help you into your suit?
LL Cool Jew: hold your hose????
Razzy: like, can i make you some tuna tacos?
LL Cool Jew: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Razzy: oh come on
LL Cool Jew: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Razzy: or maybe your specialty
LL Cool Jew: uh oh....
Razzy: poached bearded clams?
LL Cool Jew: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Razzy: hair pie for dessert!
Razzy: sorry
Razzy: i'm totally a 9-year-old boy inside
LL Cool Jew: it's ok
LL Cool Jew: you are qewt
LL Cool Jew: if dani met me - shit
LL Cool Jew: tila tequila would be HISTORY
Razzy: no shit!
Razzy: dude, you'd steal all tila tequila's suitors
Razzy: tila tequila is so busted
LL Cool Jew: i mean, me and tila tequila, side by side in red bikinis - NO COMPETITION.
LL Cool Jew: :) 8 I>
Razzy: well, for one thing, your head isn't freakishly large and you don't look like you just stepped out of a Pokemon cartoon
Razzy: for another, your breasts are real
LL Cool Jew: see the bikini
LL Cool Jew: up there
Razzy: i love it
Razzy: totz qewt
Razzy: yeah, back to tila tequila
Razzy: she is so annoying
Razzy: that show is unreal
LL Cool Jew: yeah there's boutz to be a big ole girlfight
LL Cool Jew: btw vanessa and brandi
LL Cool Jew: yawn
LL Cool Jew: did you see tila and dani makin out in the tent
LL Cool Jew: dani was spitting her lesbian feelings game
LL Cool Jew: HOTT
Razzy: i KNOW
Razzy: dani can play the feelings game like a pro
Razzy: you know she used it to score some quality boobmashing partners back in her smith days (RAZZY EDIT: Dani did not go to Smith, but we like to think she did).
Razzy: to the tune of a sarah maclachlan cd
LL Cool Jew: oh yeah
LL Cool Jew: but i bet she's a BDOC (BDOC=big dyke on campus)
LL Cool Jew: she's probz just fronting
Razzy: for sure
LL Cool Jew: she's probz humping legs with the other girls on the sly
LL Cool Jew: talking love
LL Cool Jew: screwin models
LL Cool Jew: shawty snappin!
Razzy: i said, godDAMN shawty snappin!
LL Cool Jew: OH YEAH
LL Cool Jew: i love those free swingin lesbians
LL Cool Jew: the hottness!
Razzy: you know dani fingerbanged her fair share of rugby bunnies back in her purple unicorn days ("purple unicorn"=Smith's school mascot until the early 70s when they changed it Pioneers...seriously)
LL Cool Jew: with their fryes
LL Cool Jew: and their caribeaners
LL Cool Jew: and their subarus
LL Cool Jew: LOVE IT
Razzy: totally
Razzy: it's like your dream girl
LL Cool Jew: she totz is
LL Cool Jew: and a firefighter too
LL Cool Jew: SWOOOOOOOOOOON