Friday, November 16, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: the grand jury that indicted Barry Bonds
Occupation: sticking it to lying assholes
Current residence: San Francisco, California
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: I've had plenty of hatred for Barry Bonds for a while now, which is why I did a jig yesterday when I heard that a federal grand jury is calling him on being a liar and a steroid-using cheater. He was indicted on five counts of obstruction of justice and perjury for lying to a different grand jury in 2003 that he never knowingly took steroids. Too bad for Barry the prosecution managed to dig up a stack of lab reports showing him testing positive for steroids. Also, too bad for Barry that his former "trainer" Greg Anderson--who did a year in the pokey for refusing to cooperate with prosecutors in this case--is alleged to have injected his ass with steroids. I don't know what kind of proof they have of this, but I would say that it's a lot harder to say that an intramuscular shot of a mystery substance delivered by a man known for his ability to synthesize novel growth hormone formulations isn't steroids than an innocent rubdown with "the cream" or "the clear." Good for the John Q. Publics serving on this grand jury for not buying Bonds's bullshit and giving the Feds a crack at him in court.
Also, I have to say that whoever came up with today's cover of the New York Post, AKA the greatest paper in the history of print journalism, deserves a Pulitzer. That may be the greatest use of the asterisk I've ever seen.
Labels: assholes, crime and punishment, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, large exclamatory font, sportsmen
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