Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Ingrid Marie Rivera AGAIN
DOB: October 8, 1983
Occupation: manipulative skank, Miss Puerto Rico
Hometown: Luquilla, Puerto Rico
Current residence: Ignonimy
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Earlier this week, I was impressed that the newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico managed to compete and win the Miss Puerto Rico pageant after her clothes and makeup were tainted with pepper spray. Now, investigators think that rather than being a victim of sabotage, she faked the whole thing! Holy crap!
Apparently, suspicions were raised when it was revealed that she was able to stop crying on stage. Initially everyone thought this was just her being fierce, but then someone pointed out that pepper spray causes your eyes to tear uncontrollably. That is some seriously "Melrose Place" shit right there. Really, is Dr. Michael Mancini somehow involved in this? Because I am expecting her to next pull some convoluted scheme involving psychotropic drugs that can induce a fake stroke and hiring actors to drive her competitors insane. If indeed she faked it, I think she should keep her crown just for being a crazy prostitute with creativity in spades. Who would cook up such a diabolical plot to take the Miss Puerto Rico crown besides an evil genius? I want to see what kind of soap opera ploy she uses to advance in the Miss Universe pageant. Watch out, Nha Trang, Vietnam, because a ruthless Puerto Rican pageant queen is heading your way to poison all her competitors' pho or something. This bitch could blow repentant drunken lesbo cokeheads like Tara Conner straight the fuck away. She is no joke.
Labels: beauty queens, crime and punishment, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, international intrigue, sluts
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