Thursday, November 15, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Michael Kors
Real Name: Karl Anderson, Jr.
DOB: August 9, 1959
Occupation: Per Heidi Klum, a "noted American fashion designer," hot-ass judge and uberbitch on "Project Runway"
Hometown: somewhere on Strong Island, New York
Current residence: New York, New York
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Unfortunately for my hitting-it prospects, Michael Kors is about as gay as they get. However, after watching last night's long-awaited return of "Project Runway," I remember exactly what I love so much about the show, and that is Michael Kors being a catty super-fag about almost everything, even stuff he likes. In seasons of "Project Runway" past, Michael Kors has dispensed memorable critiques like "it's as if Comme des Garcons went to the Amish country," "it looks like a Thanksgiving pageant exploded all over her ass," and "oh yeah, you're alluring, wearing your grandma's panties." On the rare occasion when he likes something (ie: Michael Knight from "Project Runway 3"'s Pam Grier-inspired hot pants), he just gives some serious fuck-me eyes and says, "Those are great shorts." Most of the time, he's hating on everything, and I love it. There's really nothing more satisfying than watching some arrogant design school graduate go on for forty-five minutes about how fucking brilliant and innovative their ruching technique is only to have Michael show up and declare that it looks "farty."
All the time off between "Project Runway" seasons has done little to mellow out Michael Kors. Yesterday there was one dress that all the judges liked, even Nina Garcia, who usually hates everything. Nonetheless, Michael zeroed in on the fabric rosette that adorned the shoulder strap and goes, "You know, that flower is a little M.O.B. for my taste."
The designer was like, "Huh?" but didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Michael Kors. Michael Kors was not impressed because he thought the dude was an idiot anyway. He rolled his eyes.
"Mother of the bride, the flower is too mother of the bride!" I was surprised he didn't add a "dumbass" for good measure. Then he realized that it actually was a lovely dress, so he couldn't overhate. Not this early in the season anyway. "I guess the rest of the dress is chic," he conceded.
Damn, there are like 14 more weeks of fabulously bitchy Michael Kors judging panels to watch. SWEET! Good thing I don't think I can get enough of this nasally-voiced asshole. Bravo, Bravo!
Labels: assholes, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot dudes, oh the horror, Project Runway, TV, vulgar display of faggotry
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Razzy, that is so funny, Michael Kors was my and Kodiak's favorite part of the show - Kors is suuuuch a bitch. My favorite new designer is the fat dude.
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