RazzyBlog: Life is a Pugsty

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Life is a Pugsty

I'm really hung over, but I've been trying to be better about checking in here and there on weekends. It's my New Year's resolution. And the Razzy New Year falls on November 17th, AKA the awesomest day of the entire year because on that day in 1978, at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tacoma, Washington, the bawdy obstetrician Dr. Peter Kesling ("Dr. Peter at your cervix") vacuumed me out of my mother's birth canal and I blessed the world with my presence. Per the Razzyian calendar, the most celebrated holidays are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Colonization/Columbus Day and it's always the year of the cock. Anyway, to get in the habit of trying to write at least one thing each weekend, I decided to start this up. Unfortunately, I drank too much scotch last night, my head hurts, and I'm tired and have to drag my protesting ass off to lab. So instead of writing something meaningful or interesting, I thought I'd just treat you all to some pictures of Chingy! looking disgusting, because everyone needs a Pug in their life. Well, assuming that everyone needs a stank, obese piglet shedding everywhere, producing ungodly smells, occasionally leaving ass-prints on the furniture, and turning his owner's apartment into an even more deplorable condition than it previously was to submit his protest about her staying over at the house of the random honey she bagged the night before. Okay, Caesar may have helped with the apartment trashing, but still...Chingy! is a fucking asshole of a dog. So while you sit here thinking "aw, so cute" thoughts about him, know if you were looking at him in person, he'd probably shower you in Pug snot via a contemptuous sneeze and yawn loudly, treating you to a gale of the sulphurous fumes of Hell that emanate from his snaggle-toothed maw. Seriously. Why I love this nefarious creature is beyond me.