Friday, December 21, 2007
Best. Office Holiday Party. Ever.
My friend JerseyGirl works for the bronze medalist of cable news networks, and last night was their parent corporation's holiday party. JerseyGirl promptly got on Gchat to advise me that she planned to take the opportunity to get to work on arranging a date for me with one of my ultimate dream guys: Chris Hansen, the hotness who holds internet pederasts accountable in the most riveting "Dateline NBC" joint EVER..."To Catch a Predator."
Lucky bitch. I'm so jealous. Why can't I work for NBC Universal? Life isn't fair. However, I can't really hate too much, because thanks to JerseyGirl's intrepid work at establishing first contact, I expect to bag Chris Hansen sometime in Q1 2008. Trust.
JerseyGirl: hey- i'm going to the nbc holiday party in a few minutes -and I REALLY hope chris hansen is thereWell, apparently when she got there, Chris Hansen was busy LOLZ-ing about stupid pedophiles with Brian Williams, and thus JerseyGirl was unable to interject herself to play matchmaker, or at least slip Chris Hansen my instant messaging handle. However, she was able to create a rapport, initiate a dialogue, and send me proof that Operation To Catch a Hot Predator Catcher is in full motherfucking effect:
Razzy: YES
Razzy: find out if he is single
Razzy: and if he wants to meet a cute blonde
JerseyGirl: oh i will
JerseyGirl: how can i do it subtly
Razzy: i don't know, is he chatty?
Razzy: do you know anyone who works with him?
JerseyGirl: i really don't know...
JerseyGirl: no unfortunately
Razzy: well, if he's there
Razzy: see if he has a date
Razzy: 1st and foremost
JerseyGirl: maybe i can say something like "oh you work so many hours, your wife must hate that you're away from home so much"
Razzy: YES
Razzy: and then when he's like, i'm divorced
Razzy: be like, oh i'm sorry to hear that
Razzy: do you like 29-y-o sluts?
Razzy: just kidding
JerseyGirl: lol
JerseyGirl: that is so funny
JerseyGirl: i will find out the deets
Razzy: tell him i do anal
JerseyGirl: okay!
Labels: celebrities, hot dudes, JerseyGirl, sex, TV
Comments:
Links to this post:
<< Home
ME: BIGBAGEL. Come here RIGHT NOW.
BB: What?
ME: RIGHT NOW.
(pause)
ME: There's JERSEYGIRL at the NBC Universal Christmas party, with Chris Hansen of "To Catch A Predator." She is UNPARALLELED DOPENESS!
Post a Comment
BB: What?
ME: RIGHT NOW.
(pause)
ME: There's JERSEYGIRL at the NBC Universal Christmas party, with Chris Hansen of "To Catch A Predator." She is UNPARALLELED DOPENESS!
Links to this post:
<< Home
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
