Thursday, December 06, 2007
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Belladonna
Real name: Michelle Anne Sinclair
DOB: May 21, 1981
Occupation: porn star, specializing in anal, fetish, and rough lesbian genres
Hometown: Salt Lake City, Utah (another shining example of a virtuous Mormon lady)
Current residence: somewhere in Porn Valley, California
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Belladonna is a dirty, filthy, nasty, disgusting girl, to the point where, depending on the movie, up to 90% of what she does makes me cringe. However, like a train wreck, I can't stop watching some of Belladonna's extremely perverted antics. For Belladonna, double anal is just another day at the office, and while that sort of thing doesn't really arouse me, I'm fascinated by Bella's ability to make it seem like the most fun anyone could ever possibly have. I think that sticking one regular-sized dick up my ass is challenging enough as far as my comfort level is concerned, so I can only imagine sticking two porn star-sized cocks in there along with a lime or a baseball (not joking about that) is damned excruciating. OUCH.
Belladonna always pushes the envelope. She has sex with men, women, and trannies, and she usually does nasty fucking things to all of them. I saw one clip in which she was not only eight months pregnant, she was having a lesbian/tranny orgy and proceeded to give one of her companions a BREAST MILK ENEMA prior to sticking a Louisville slugger up her ass. I watch a lot of porn, but even for a dirty, perverted girl like me I was like, "Oh. My. GOD. How did I manage to pull this off the internets?" It's the kind of thing that doesn't really turn you on, but that you watch with a mix of revulsion, shock, and a sense of horrified curiosity. Granted, I'm sure that there are people out there who are really into pregnancy fetish-themed anal group sex, but I imagine most people, even those well-versed in porn, watch that and say, "What the hell...?" Again, for Belladonna, it's just another day at the office.
In addition to the fact that her sheer depravity is impressive even for a famous porn star, I like the fact that Bella doesn't really look like a typical porn star. She has a huge diastema (gap between her front teeth, and trust that dick DOES fit...I saw her deep throat all eleven inches of Lexington Steele's penis, and just thinking about attempting that makes me want to start retching) and is regularly shaving her head for lesbian scenes (extra style points to Bella for catering to the lady-loving ladies in the audience via her coiffure). Her breasts are natural C cups, and she has tattoos all over, including a giant sacred heart on her left tit. In spite of not being covered with fake blonde hair and silicone, Bella manages to fuck with more aggression and panache than ten Jenna Jamesons put together. Furthermore, even though Bella isn't conventionally good looking, she is drop dead gorgeous when put next to Jenna "We Wants the Precious" Jameson. She fucks with more vigor and enthusiasm, has more of a sense of humor (currently, the poll on her NSFW website is "Should Rubbing Slugs be the title of my next girl-girl series?" and there's a picture of jizz dripping off her nose to the caption "I GOT SLIMED!"), and has more range than 90% of the bitches in porn. I don't get off to Bella the way I respond to Briana Banks, but as far as the level of respect I accord to a porn star, Bella is light years ahead. She is smart, unafraid, and unapologetic, and is as much of a feminist icon as a woman starring in movies called Belladonna's Dark Meat, Butthole Whores 2, My Hot Wife is Fucking Blackzilla 11, Manhandled, Cock Happy, Fetish Fanatic, and Belladonna's Oddjobs (a series about sex with feet, fruits and vegetables, and other various household objects) can possibly be. While uptight feminazis at Smith College might say that porn like this is degrading, every woman who has enjoyed the greater sexual freedom that the feminist movement has afforded them can thank Belladonna for blazing a trail of unabashedly weird yet strangely empowering sexual deviance. Thanks to Bella, it's okay for women to be perverts too, and I mean that in the most positive way possible. I think she has done a great service for women's liberation.
I was thus fairly upset about a month or two ago when Bella announced her semi-retirement from the industry. This was because she developed a gigantic herpes lesion on her ass, presumably was unable to perform (since her ass is in approximately 95% of the footage she shoots), and was worried about passing her simplex around to her co-stars, even though virtually all of them have the herp. Luckily, it turned out a different member of the herpesviridae; just a spot of shingles as opposed to the worst herpes simplex outbreak of all time, and now she seems to have reconsidered her desire to stop getting DPed for the camera (which is inadvisable, since her shingles outbreak actually suggests she has varicella-zoster virus as well as herpes simplex, and I don't really have a "more the merrier" philosophy when it comes to herpesvirus infections). Granted, I still won't be buying Belladonna's latest Fetish Fanatic movie because I don't really get off by making a vodka gimlet in some other bitches' vadge while I shove a kielbasa up her ass. Nor will I ever hit her hotness since I'm not planning on starring in any violent anal lesbian porn films anytime soon and since I avoid effing people with herpes, but I will continue to read her MySpace blog and cheer her on. Keep on shocking the world's sensibilities, girl! And here's hoping you start a dynasty of winning the FAME "Dirtiest Girl in Porn" award, because you are!
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, hot chicks, lezbollah, perversion, porn, sex, sluts
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