Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Reggie (Stay Out of My) Bush
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!
This is very, very, very upsetting. As I was catching up on my gossip internets from the last couple of days, I noticed this picture of busted, scabies-infested slag Kim Kardashian shopping for vibrators--I mean neck and back massagers--at the Sharper Image with none other than Reggie (Get in My) Bush! THIS SUCKS!
I saw that they had attended some crappy event together months ago, but I figured that she was just a large-assed diversion and Reggie had moved on to some other slag-about-Hollywood. After all, I haven't seen that skank wearing a pink Saints #25 jersey contaminating the Superdome with crabs all season! Then again, while Reggie was stacking paper from his various endorsement deals, he didn't have such a great year on the football field. My buddy Js and Ps, who took Reggie (Get in My) Bush as his first round draft pick, has been bitching about his lack of productivity all season. I can't really blame him, since who would have thought he'd be splitting carries with Aaron Stecker. Then he tore his PCL and is out for the season. It's probably because Kim Kardashian was behind the scenes, cursing Reggie with her talent-sapping, hot guy-ruining, football prowess-mitigating ass dentata. From the outside, with a slutty Lycra blend skirt on it, I know it looks like this:
But turn her around, bend her over, and take a gander between those two behemoth ass implants, and I bet you see that Reggie has been sticking his dick into something more akin to this:
Seriously, I would not be surprised if that is where the inspiration for the Pit of Sarlacc came from. I don't care how rich Kim Kardashian's parents are; that bitch, like fellow celebutard and former BFF Paris Hilton, is straight-up trash. Being from the Meth Lab Capital of the U.S. of A., I know it when I see it. Hooker is such a nasty, vermin-ridden prostitute that she makes me seem classy and prudish.
Anyway, I'm pissed because I figured if Reggie had just hit that once ages ago, he'd have since washed his pubes with Rid and be safe for me to sit on by now. Unfortunately, now that I realize they've got this long-term thing happening, not only am I convinced that Reggie's penis may not ever recover from the ruination wrought by Kim Kardashian's nether regions, but that if I ever have to the chance to actually get Reggie in my Bush, I'll be experiencing burning and discharge within several hours of that occurring.
I hate Kim Kardashian. HATE!
This is very, very, very upsetting. As I was catching up on my gossip internets from the last couple of days, I noticed this picture of busted, scabies-infested slag Kim Kardashian shopping for vibrators--I mean neck and back massagers--at the Sharper Image with none other than Reggie (Get in My) Bush! THIS SUCKS!
Anyway, I'm pissed because I figured if Reggie had just hit that once ages ago, he'd have since washed his pubes with Rid and be safe for me to sit on by now. Unfortunately, now that I realize they've got this long-term thing happening, not only am I convinced that Reggie's penis may not ever recover from the ruination wrought by Kim Kardashian's nether regions, but that if I ever have to the chance to actually get Reggie in my Bush, I'll be experiencing burning and discharge within several hours of that occurring.
I hate Kim Kardashian. HATE!
Labels: assholes, gross, media whores, NFL football, oh the horror, ranting, Reggie (Get In My) Bush, sluts
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